Critique of an Expansion of a Generator (Pantheon Generator Review)

So Dan over at Throne of Salt made an expansion to my Pantheon Generator. Firstly, I'd love to say thank you for your kind words about my generator, it's actually my most popular post on my entire blog. It seemed incredibly popular and I'm glad people are thinking about it. Now let's talk about the expansion that Dan made.

Firstly, I'd like to start by saying that this is not supposed to necessarily be a value judgment of which one of us “did it better”, nor am I trying to claim stole my idea or anything. This is just seem feedback. It seems his post was pretty popular too, so clearly this concept interests people.

The Changes

Let's start with Dan's new “Where did they come from?” table is good. I like the subtle changes to my first table- his table feels more appropriate from “ground up” worldbuilding- what the people of the world actually believe happened, as opposed to my table which is more objective. I think making information more pertinent to the players is a better use of time then creating objective facts about a setting anyway, so I do think his table is better in that regard.

Now the change to the prime God / head of the pantheon is an interesting one. The concept of having the Prime God being a trio of beings instead of just one, or a opposite pair, or something even more complex (like absent entirely, which I think is a good one) is kind of cool. But here's where we get to the unpleasant part. The thing is I don't like the Moiety thing. I'm somewhat confused why it's even being included at all, but I think I have both a reason and a counter to it. Let me explain.

I think what Dan was going for here was the concept of creating a sort of scheme for the God(s) in the pantheon. Something like a Pantheon being ruled over by squabbling sisters of the Sun and Moon is an interesting concept- this exact setup is how two important Gods from Path of Exile are portrayed- Solaris and Lunaris. Here's the problem though- imagine if you wanted to expand out the pantheon more. Would you then create multiple Gods that fit with this theme of Day versus Night? Well, you wouldn't. I mean you kind of could, but it wouldn't feel the same. You see, the struggle of Day and Night between Solaris and Lunaris is its own thing. It's setting specific, and it works because they're locked in eternal conflict.

When I went to create the Pantheon Generator, I did so because I wanted it to be a way for people to create their own Pantheons similar to Greek, Norse, and Egyptian mythology. Other mythologies, such as Hindu, Japanese, or Chinese I'd also like to emulate somehow, but I'm less familiar with those. The issue here is these pantheons don't really have this idea of Moeity. I mean you have good and evil and yin and yang, but they aren't necessarily evenly split down the middle. What's the point of arbitrarily putting Gods into categories of “passive” and “active”?

Now here's my rebuttal to this- Humans are very good at finding patterns even where they don't exist. It's the basis of superstition and, by any metric, religion and religious practice itself. Goblin Punch had a good post about this just recently too. Here's my reasoning- I would never need to use Moiety for my generator because I would naturally find connections without needing to. The strange love or friendship between the God of Storms and the God of Wines is something you can extrapolate- Oh, those two Gods are paired up? Well, that's a good in-setting myth to explain why the ocean tumbles and makes waves during a storm- the ocean God must be getting drunk off the gifts of the wine God! It's an easy, cheap, basic explanation and easy myth to remember.

Next complaint (feels like this is just me complaining about Dan's generator at this point) I dislike the change to the appearance table. The reason why the God appearances are aged and specific are to encapsulate the ideas of mythology. I used the term “Mature” here to mean adult, probably bearded if a man, to fit stuff like Zeus and Odin as being the old and prime members of their pantheons, hence why Prime Gods are the aged ones. But I didn't feel right calling them “old”. In my mind, the inclusion of apparent age and sex to a God says a lot about their character and helps build the mythology. By breaking it down into a basic gender table I think you lose that. And while you could just determine the ages after you make the God, I think it's interesting to roll a God of the Underworld who is young and a God of War who is old. It instantly creates a dynamic that you wouldn't get if you just ran off a list- male, female, female, androgynous, etc. However, I did like the concept of having them portrayed as multiple genders, though I don't know how many examples of that there actually were in old mythologies, it does add to the mystique a bit. I kind of implied that with the androgynous appearance roll- the idea of things like Mercury/Hermes having both male and females traits or forms. (I mean Gods change their sex all the time so I guess you can argue it doesn't really matter, but a primary depiction is still more fitting with classic mythology anyway).

Now let's address the elephant in the room- this bit.

“You can only have viable godly offspring between gods of different moieties (I mean, it's possible to get double hot and double cold, but that's where you get legendary monsters) - the god's typical physical representation has nothing to do with it.”

Here's the thing, if you're trying to emulate classic mythology like I am doing, a God's gender is supremely important to their pairing. Godly pantheons are incestuous families, at least in the sources from where I am pulling. While there are examples of exceptions of this, like Loki turning into a female horse, and he still had a wife who gave birth to several important Gods. I don't really want to turn this into some kind of discussion about sex and gender or whatever, but if you're creating a mythology that has godly parents and pairings, then the vast majority are going to be heterosexual. Doing otherwise just feels weird at best, and blatant pandering at worst.

I do like the changes to the relationship table, which gives it a bit more depth. Finally, picking domains off of tarot cards is interesting, though personally I think Gods are a bit more suited to embody physical phenomena then some of the abstract traits included there (for a more mythological pantheon anyway); but overall I think this is a very nice addition.

Conclusion

All in all, I feel a bit confused by what Dan's table is trying to accomplish, though I think you could easily use it to create a cool pantheon. Finally, the concept of the “Godhead” being something that isn't an original couple is a good idea that I didn't include in my own generator. I think I'd like to create a more complex, “fantasy religion generator” at some point that included things like Monotheism, Ancestor worship, and Lovecraftian outer-gods as potential symbols of worship along with a more traditional pantheon, maybe with each part as fully fleshed out as the Pantheon Generators we have made. Maybe one of YOU can work on this project- let me know! Thanks for reading, Dan. Bye.

10 Ways to Stop the Worlds Most Evil Dog

Idea shamelessly expanded upon from here.

10 Ways to Stop the Worlds Most Evil Dog

[1] Just shoot it with an arrow you fucking dumbshit.

[2] It's only ever been a “bad dog”. It just needed to be called a good boy.

[3] Name level Monk must deploy the Quivering Bellyrub; purifies the dog's toxic chakra.

[4] Find the world's only Good Cat.

[5] Teach it archery. Sounds like a terrible idea, but it's a good outlet. The dog's really just bored.

[6] Find it's master. The dog ran away. It's owner is the kindest old lady you'll ever meet.

[7] Slip a magical Collar of Reverse Alignment around its neck.

[8] You must call the celestial dog-catcher down from heaven.

[9] Witch needs to brew a potion of eternal sleep and mix it with a treat. The dog can smell poison but it likes drugs, so after it eats it the dog will go curl up somewhere and sleep forever.

[10] Let it gnaw on the handle of the Sword of Truth. It feels bad about it- the first time it ever felt remorse. The handle of the sword will always be a bit slobbery though.

The BIG Mutation Table

Many entries will link to other blog articles, which may occasionally break. If you notice a broken link and call it out in the comments, I will get to fixing it as soon as possible.

Anyway- this is the result of several years of writing and illustrating. The results are weighted towards mutations that are mostly neutral, that have positive AND negative effects, or just weird effects in general. This is how I tend to write mutations. The outliers are made to be less common and on the extreme ends of your roll. This table has been planned for quite a long time, so I am finally glad to see it finished! Total number of potential outcomes is pretty high. I think you'll get some mileage.

Mutations

The form of life is mutable. Either through magic spell or mutagen, you are being changed. Whenever you fail a saving throw against a mutation, or are forced through one for whatever reason, you may roll on this table. If an entry does not specify a body part, or a mutation must occur on a certain body part, roll a 1d8 to determine what body part is selected. Certain races may have additional body parts- such as wings, tails, or long manes that may also be mutated or added. If a character is a centaur or has 4 arms, expand the table below to a d12 with the extra arms/legs.

Many entries on this table contain links to other pages. Click on the link and follow the instructions on that page to generate the result. Certain entries may also have small, nested tables in the form of lists. In these cases, roll the number indicated and then the result on the list is the number you use.

Bodypart Selection Table- 1d10

[1] Head/Horns

[2] Neck/Shoulders

[3] Left Arm

[4] Right Arm

[5] Chest/Back/Wings

[6] Stomach

[7] Groin/Tail/Pelvis

[8] Left Leg

[9] Right Leg

[10] Skin/Hair/Misc

The BIG Mutation Table – 1d100

[1] You are permanently warped into a horrible genetic aberration, with a constantly shifting form. It is made up of many kingdoms of life; plant, animal, man. The creature has 1 less HD then your character's level, and becomes a mindless NPC monster. Bummer.

The monster then (1d3)- Goes on a rampage and attacks the nearest being, starts eating nearby corpses or greenery, or runs away to find a safe place to nest & brood.

[2] You are heavily degenerated. Reroll all of your stats, and take the results if they are lower then your current ones. You are simply scarred by genetic errors, poorly built structures, and a weakened and unhealthy body. Normal cure spells will not work on you, is this is what your body is meant to be like, as though born with this form. Only a wish or divine intervention can revert these changes. If you rolled none of your new stats lower then your older ones, then you instead degenerate into an ancestral, unevolved animal form. Orcs turn into pigs, Humans become featherless bipeds, etc.

[3] You have gained an innate weakness to one of the elements, present in your flesh or skin. (1d4) Fire, Cold, Lightning, or Acid has become your nemesis. You take double damage from this element. After you die, your corpse will reanimate as an undead weak to the same element you were in life.

[4] You grow a second “face” underneath your first. It's a bit like a goiter that grows under your chin and is smaller, but has eyes and a mouth. Roll a random set of Eyes and Mouth (bite-attack table) on the Cavern Beast Generator to determine its stats and what it looks like. The face is almost always asleep when you're on the surface, but its eye(s) blink open when you go deeper underground. The face also follows your mental commands, but has a bit of an animal mind that betrays your subconscious. The face will, for example, bite or spit at those you hate and are forced up close to, even if you wish to keep your dislike of them a secret, or lick the neck and face of a lover, even in public.

[5-7] You have become misshappen. Roll on the misshapen subtable on the Weird Monster Generator until you get an 8, then gain a special power rolled on that special power table. Add those limbs to your body, which are otherwise act as normal limbs. Extra heads have simplistic and similar, but still distinct personalities and voices, to you. Like an unoriginal conjoined twin.

[8-9] Roll on the Rat Mutation table. The next time you eat some cheese, roll on that table again.

[10-11] Your head morphs into an animal head. Roll on the Random Animal table to determine what animal it is. You will gain/lose a bite attack based on what head you get. Your stats do not change, but you may see better or worse, gain nightvision or antanee, have a powerful nose, etc. You can still speak your normal languages, but can also speak the language of that animal and partially communicate with members of that species. You also will probably no longer be able to wear a regular helmet, and your clearly inhuman appearance may give you an additional -1 to reaction checks with civilized folks.

[12-16] Roll on the Blood Mutations table.

[17] Your body's humors have been disrupted! One of your Four humors are underproducing, while the rest are overproducing. The humor you are having trouble creating is (1d4) Hot & Dry, Hot & Wet, Cold & Dry, or Cold & Wet. You now have to eat an entire meal dedicated to that humor, such as lathering it with spices or eating very specific foods. On the upside your body's overproducing of the other humors has increased your energy and activity levels. You can now be fully rested with just 4 hours of sleep, and heal +1 hit points per day as long as your humors are kept in balance.

[18-20] Roll on the Nose Mutations table.

[21] You grow an elephant trunk in place of your nose. The trunk can be used as a prehensile limb that can grip objects roughly, but can only use small weapons like daggers or clubs at a -2 to attack rolls. You can also breath through it, but you lose some of your sensitivity to smell. 
The trunk looks (1d3) Like a typical gray elephant trunk, like your normal skin covering stretched into a weird trunk-like shape, brown and super fuzzy as a wooly mammoth trunk.

[22-27] Roll on the Eye Mutations table.

[28] You gain Darkvision. This means your eyes glow in the dark- letting you see in darkness. Your eyes glow a specific color based on your race. Sneaking around without closing your eyes in darkness confers a -2 penalty to all Stealth rolls.

[29-33] Roll on the Hardcore Mutations table.

[34] Your mouth and digestive process changes. Your spit become mildly acidic, dealing 1 damage to creatures if not wiped off after an exploration turn and dealing minor damage to stonework or metals if spit on and left for long periods of time. This applies to all your bodily fluids, thus making you very dangerous to other people around you as well, though you are thankfully immune to it. Your stomach can use this spit, as well as its newfound ability, to digest basically anything. You can scrap lichen off the walls, eat any creature's meat, chew pinecones, etc. Basically anything biological, no matter how rotten or hard, can be eaten and its nutrients absorbed by you. You don't need to forage for food.

[35-37] Roll on the Teeth Mutations table.

[38-40] Crystals grow in your flesh. Roll on the Flesh Crystal Growths table.

[41] Crystals grow in your flesh. In this case, it is Azurite ore growing on your body on a random body part. Azurite is a blue ore with the power to transmit, store, and release energy. Roll on the Azurite Power Table to determine what type of power you gain by using Azuritre. These crystals also sap your body of its energy; take lose -1d6 Constitution from these leeching crystals. If this would kill you, you lose your energy over the course of a few weeks, granting a small chance to find a cure or removing the mutation before the Azurite turns you into a zombie, drained of all life force.

[42-46] Roll on the Leg & Feet Mutations table.

[47] Your legs fuse together to become something new. Your legs combine to become (1d4) the tail of a mermaid, the body or “foot” of a slug, the coiling muscular tail of a snake, OR the entire four legs and lower body of a random quadrupedal animal making you into something akin to a centaur. Roll 1d8 on the Random Animal Table to determine this animal in the event of the above result.

[48-52] Roll on the Miscellaneous Mutations table.

[53] Thy flesh twists. Roll 1d3 random Body Parts, which have twisted around backwards. Certain body parts, like the chest, do not twist backwards and are instead twisted into a spiral. Due to the severity of this effect, the next night you go to sleep you toss and turn- waking up in a very strange sleeping position and having 1d2 of your twisted body parts realigned to normal. You can have the permanently stuck body parts treated by physicians and healers over the course of several years to turn them back to normal. However, your joints in these affected body parts become much more flexible; if your head was screwed on backwards and then cured, you can turn your head around 180 degrees, if your arm was twisted backwards you can fully bend it back, etc. As a result, you gain Dexterity points permanently equal to the number of limbs twisted back.

[54-59] Roll on the Freaky Fingers table.

[60] Your arm warps. Roll a random arm, then roll on the random Arms Table on the Weird Monster Generator. This arm replaces the offending limb. It gains or loses its usefulness based on whatever arm you rolled, having similar stats and abilities. If you roll the human hand, it has tattoos and gains a streak of criminality (picking people's pockets, flipping the bird, goosing passersbys, etc.)

[61-62] Roll on the Hair Mutations table.

[63] Your limbs are undergoing a serious transformation. Blisters form, retracting 1d4 of your limbs into the huge bread-loaf sized pustules at the terminus of your joints. These pustules can be squeezed by you once per day to fire out tiny, milky white translucent tendrils that sting whatever they touch, with the effect of the sting being listed below. You lose the use of these limbs while they are “changing”, and lancing or destroying these pustules destroys the limb permanently. After one year, these limbs emerge as long gray tendrils that can be used as a rough prehensile limb that is safe to the touch for others, though lacking the dexterity of a normal hand or foot. The end of these tendril has a slit and can be opened to reveal a small tentacled “hand” or “foot” that has the fully effectiveness of the limb but carries with it your poisonous sting.

Additionally, all of these stinging tentacles you have have the effect of (1d2) save vs paralysis or be paralyzed for 1d4 rounds, or save vs poison else take 2d6 damage from the stingers.

[64-66] Roll on the Torso Mutations table.

[67] Roll a Random Bodypart. Then, roll on the skin coverings table from the Mutant Wasteland Guide Generator. This is the skin this bodypart is now covered by, losing its fur if you had any. You gain +1 AC if the area has natural armor on it from the Mutant table.

[68] Generate a Random Alien Organ. This organ grows inside your chest over the period of 1d4 days, and its purpose should be shifted to better fit a fantasy setting. You gain +2 hit points from the increased body mass and bulk, but (1d3) you must eat an extra ration per day, extraterrestrials from another dimension will stalk you to vivisect the organ and take it, or you must consume a rare and expensive spice mixed with water once a month for its specifics nutrients or else you will sicken and die over the course of 1d8 days.

[69] Regardless of your gender, you have become pregnant. Your body must carry the creature for 2d6+2 months, and then you will birth it through the most fitting opening. This creature is a 0 HD monster generated using the Cavern Beast Generator. It is helpless and feeble until it has at least 1 HD. It has imprinted on you and believes you as its mother, and will not ever attack you, but hates the sun and wishes very much to remain in the darkness. The creature gains 1 HD every 1d4 years it develops, growing its attacks and power the older it gets. It is considered fully adult when it reaches the HD it would have had if generated solely on the Cavern Beast Generator.

[70-72] You change race. Over the course of 1d6 days, you mutate into a totally different being, with some vague similarities between your old body type, voice, face, coloration and so forth with your new form. But you are still wholly different, gaining and losing racial traits or bonuses as normal. Roll on your favorite gonzo race table, or GLOG Race Table by Skerples.

[73] Roll a Random Bodypart. If that body part is holding or wearing a magic item, then it “fuses” with the item. Your skin starts to grow over it and meld it to your form. An item held in your hand has its flesh melded onto it, if you're wearing a magic necklace the necklace is covered by a layer of skin and dully glows through it, etc.The item is now stuck to you and awkwardly trapped within a layer of your skin, which can only be cut out with surgical tools. If there is no magic item touching that part of your body, instead this mutation hides in wait until a magic item is placed there or brushes against it. You cannot use this bodypart as normal or equip an item in that slot, but can make full use of the item that is trapped inside of you with its full modifiers and uses per day.

Additionally, over the years this item is consumed more wholly, breaking down and changing into a biological form. When a magic sword is fused subsumed by your arm's flesh, it looks the same as it did before, just melded to you. After many seasons, the sword will begin to have bone and keratin elements, mixing with your biology and eventually seeming as though it is wholly a part of your body. At this point the item can not be surgically removed, but it will regenerate if damaged and you gain more control over it. For example, items with a one use per day rule will now have two uses a day, but you must consume an extra ration to feed the energy cost and so on.

[74-75] Your brain experiences a surge of maturation and new structures form within it. You gain the abilities of a beginner Psychic. You may eventually learn a Psychic trick or even develop a full blown Psychic power through leveling up, and training with your new power. This power is not considered magical, and may even work in alternate realities where magic does not exist. However, by becoming a Psychic you have opened the door for astral beings, psionic creatures, and harrowing life experiences to all be able to both sense you as well as cause your mind harm from the psionic attacks or stress. Roll on the Psychic Trick table to see what power you can develop.

[76-77] You grow horns. Roll 1d6 on the Random Horns Table. The horns sprout from your head and can be used as a 1d3 improvised weapon in combat if you butt your head around. If you rolled "Antlers", then your horns are seasonal and fall off every winter before growing back in spring.

[78] Your skeletal structure painfully shifts and hardens. You gain a slightly different silhouette and a slightly different looking face, but otherwise look the same. You gain +1 AC from your newfound skeletal development, but lose -1d4 Dexterity. When you die, the skeleton inside your body is very strange. Roll on the Weird Skeleton Table.

[79] Your bodily constitution has changed considerably. Your body stores fat as a layer of thin, but tough blubber just under the skin. You gain +1d6 Constitution points and a considerable amount of heft, but are not much fatter then you were before. This layer of blubber has also made you resistant to cold damage. However, your overactive immune system means you have developed a new deadly allergy to (1d4) Wine, Paper, Glass, Honey. Save vs death on touch, no save if ingested.

[80] You begin to grow manfruits. Unless you're a woman, then it's womanfruits. Or “personfruits”, whatever works for you. These grow along your sides, hanging out from your body on small twigs that poke out from your flesh painlessly. These 'fruits' have no effect on you, and indeed taste and make you feel terrible if you eat them, but others can eat your fruits or sup their juices and restore 1d3 hit points and will also restore 1 point to any damaged attribute. You grow 1d4 fruits during Summer and Autumn, 2d6 fruits during Spring, and are bare for the Winter.

[81] You're half slime! Your skin and flesh sags and takes on a new viscosity, more like ooze or gel. Your bones remain intact, and are the only anchor points to your physical body- you're much like a skeleton jelly. Your body has a new consistency closer to that of (1d4) Wet Sand, Clay, Gelatin, or Liquid Cement. You take -2 damage from slashing or piercing weapons and you don't bleed.

Additionally; Your internal organs (1d3) have disappeared and your entire body volume does the job, now float freely around you and can be removed without harm for short periods of time, or have turned into spiders which seek to escape you from wounds and bite your foes whenever possible.

[82-83] Roll on the Rubber Forehead Alien Generator to determine what your face and forehead changes like- roll on the first two “Characteristic” tables. You also gain the benefit of their culture as a sort of newfound mental acuity in that subject. If your setting has more prejudice against mutated people, then this mutation is less egregious. If you've already rolled this one, instead just roll on the Characteristics table and then roll on the Terrible Knowledge table instead.

[84] Your body now naturally absorbs magical energy, much like a sponge. You suck up a specific type of energy; roll on the 6 Types of Magical Energy table. If you absorb enough of this energy, you start to glow its colors and can produce a minor magical effect relating to it by spending the energy. However, due to your body's newfound openness to magic, you suffer a -4 to all saving throws vs all spells.

[85-86] You grow a tail. If you already have a tail, you grow a second one. This new tail is determined by rolling on Priunt's Random Tail Table- from the Really Powerful Hirelings Table. You gain the tail and its abilities. If chopped off, you get a saving throw to have it grow back the next morning. The tail will always grow back the same type that you had before. If you fail this save, the loss of the tail is permanent.

[87] You gain a hint of the “Other” in you. You are not an Other, but the Others will ignore you, treating you as one of their own, or like a background noise as long as you do not attack them or interfere with their plans and cults. Roll on the Other Tell Table and you gain that tell. You also gain the ability to distinguish an Other by sight and smell.

[88-93] Roll on the Weird & Terrifying Powers table. Some of the powers are more mystical and abstract to work with mutations, in which case, just roll a d30 on the table, which is where the majority of the more physical and biological powers or mutations are.

[94-95] You develop a strange patch of skin somewhere on your body. Roll a random bodypart for the location. Roll on the Cavern Beast Generator skin table to determine what it is. You gain the benefit.

[96-97] Your pineal gland fully activates, and you grow your third eye on your forehead. You gain +1d3 Wisdom. Additionally, your eye has the special power of (1d4)- Seeing the Invisible, Seeing through all illusions, Detecting Magic, or Detecting Alignment.

[98] You experience an astonishing rate of growth and development, like a second puberty. Your oldest scars disappear, you grow an inch or two in height, and your secondary sex characteristics are enhanced. Restore any damaged attributes you have and roll 1d6 twice to determine two different random stats. These stats are improved by +1d4 points permanently.

[99-100] Roll on the Really Good Mutations table. Nice.

Announcment + ORC WEEK

I don't usually like to give meta announcements like this, but it is important. My real life has started to pick up, meaning working full time and thus having less time to work on this blog. I want to stress that I am not stopping posting, it's just that new posts will have to be slower and less reliable.

Also to celebrate(?) the occasion, this entire first week of November is dedicated to my pig men race- the PORCS! Welcome to ORC WEEK! The posts here will be linked together in advance, so if any links don't work, just wait a few days for all the Orc posts to be uploaded.

Thank you all again for your great support. Hope to continue producing content as best I can.

10 Blog Spells

These spells are based on posts I've made on this blog. Every spell contains links to various other tables, spell lists, generators, or monster stats.

10 Blog Spells

[1] Marvelous Marble - 3^rd level

This spell creates a statue- generate a statue when you cast this spell. The statue is conjured from the earth or air and pantomimes the caster in slow, jerky movements. Every round, the statue either does exactly what the caster commands, but the caster must give up their action, OR the statue follows a set of instructions given to it. You can give any number of commands to the golem in a single round, and it will follow the instructions without fail, but slowly and one at a time. Because of this, it is very possible for the moves to become ineffective over time, or even accidentally strike allies.

The Golem can be made to do one of the following every round- the caster can use basic words or phrases to give these orders, but this is the limit of the statue's ability. The only other thing the golem can be made to do is follow the caster's walk if led around by the iron chain stuck into its throat. If the statue is struck by a wild magic pulse or if the caster is gutted and screams unintelligible; then the golem will do something random instead.

Golem Orders – 1d8

1. Strike a pose. Does nothing, but effectively passes a round.
2. Strike the nearest target with a stone fist. -2 to hit and 1d10 damage.
3. Strike a specific area by throwing something. Will pick up and throw people if it runs out of heavy inanimate objects to throw.
4. Grab the nearest target. Hard save to wriggle free.
5. Crush anything the Golem has grabbed. This is a save vs death. If nothing is grabbed, the golem will crush its own rocky hands and fingers.
6. Defend. Curls its arms around the nearest person in front of the golem or between its legs. The person cannot move from its grasp, but treats their AC as 18.
7. Slam. Either slamming its entire body into the ground to knock all adjacent targets prone if they fail a save, OR slamming its body weight into wall or object. The Golem will always run in a straight line to perform the slam, meaning if something gets in the way it will hit that instead.
8. Self Destruct. The Golem tears off chunks of itself and flick its material as shrapnel. It takes 1d6 damage, deals 1d6 damage to everyone hit by the shower, and loses -2 AC.

The Golem has a base AC of 16, 4 HD, and takes no damage from piercing or sharp weapons. The material the statue is made out of, as well as its subject influence its abilites. Golems made of magic wax can be cut with sharp weapons, where as if the statue was made of gold it gains a 1 in 3 chance to bounce off any spell cast on it, and so on. The Statue-Golem lasts a maximum of one hour.

[2] Crystal Centurion - 4^th level

From a pulse of energy from a small focusing crystal; the caster is instantly clad in a suit of armor made from magical crystals. The “caster” for this spell can also instead be anyone who is holding the magic focusing crystal when this spell is cast, letting warriors or rogues hold it before the wizard activates the enchantment. They treat their AC as 18 for the entire duration of this spell. They are also equipped with a large, heavy crystal bludgeon. The bludgeon deals 1d6+2 damage, counts as magic, and grants the holder a random power pulled from the Azurite power table. They also have a crystal shield which grants +2 to all saves and has a 1 in 3 chance to deflect spells of lesser level then this one; this deflection also applies to dragon breath and can be bounced back at the dragon. This spell lasts long enough to fit an entire battle within; up to a maximum of one hour.

Additionally; the wave of energy generated by this spell causes magic crystals to grow in the area. The crystals grow into a specific formation and type, which is generated using the Mana Crystal generator. These crystals can explode when touched, using an X in 6 chance, where X is the stability of the crystal rolled on the Mana Crystal generator. If these crystals are touched by magic crystals as well, they don't explode, meaning the caster is safe from the detonations.

Finally, this spell is very powerful and taxing, and has a price. Every time you are the subject of this spell, draw a crystal on your character sheet. Once you have three crystals drawn, you must make a save each time you use this spell or touch a mana/magic crystal; on a failure, draw yet another crystal AND roll on the crystal mutation table to see how you change. If you ever get 10 or more Crystals on your character sheet, your character is frozen in place by enigmatic paradox crystals, with no guarantee that they'll ever be able to escape.

[3] Maw of the Mound - 4^th level

After the incantation of this spell, the caster's body falls apart into dark black soil. The ground shakes and their face appears etched into the dirt itself. They can move as a tidal wave of dirt, which requires a save to avoid getting knocked over when it goes under you. The maw can charge into barricades, knock up tiles, uproot trees, and anything else a huge mobile earthquake like this could do. This is a powerful spell, and requires a handful of salt distilled from the ocean beneath the soil and rock of the world as one of its major casting ingredients.

Every round, the caster can either attack with a bite attack that has a +4 to hit and deals 2d10 damage OR open their mouth and use their tongue as a ramp to allow forces of the underworld to charge out. These monsters are not capable of distinction for surface dwellers nor would they follow the caster's orders anyway, and as such charge onto the battlefield attacking anything in their path. The spell only lasts for 3 rounds.

The biting attack doesn't kill its target if they reach 0 hit points or less. Instead, they are swallowed by the maw and fall into a pit of blackness. There, they come to an uncomfortable realization and are trapped in a temporary prison outside of time. They will return in 1d50x50 years, but are dead for the purposes of this campaign.

The tongue bridges allows monsters to come out. Only one monster can be released by the maw- the monster that is released is random. If an extra round is used to open the tongue bridge- more of the same monster is released. Roll a 1d3 then roll on the table.

1. The Monster is accompanied by a black cloud that blots out sunlight in a 100 ft area. It is a strange beast from another realm shourded in Midnight.
2. The Monster comes from deep within the Earth. Roll on the Wandering Monster Table from the Dead Underground City
3. It is a detachment of the Slaugh; the dark elves, who will use it as a staging attempt to invade the surface world. After this battle, they will attempt to capture the spellcaster of this spell to use them to create another strategic Maw.

[4] The Faithful Two - 1^st level

This spell is low level despite its effects, but requires two similar characters, both already sworn to service to the spell caster. This spell merges the two together in spirits, and they can an emphatic link that connects them across as many miles as they have HD collectively. The two become more intertwined in combat as well, roll on the Super Combat Bros. Generator to see what gimmicks and uniforms are drawn to the collective group. This spell can only be cast by any individual magic user once; it creates their faithful bodyguards, but no more. Though often these Fighters come from specific Warrior Cults, or from a very specific Mercenary Group.

[5] Drake-Twist - 2^nd level

Both of the casters arms twist together and transform into a small but fearsome dragon head. It takes one round for the twist to happen, you may perform one action with your dragon head in the second, and in the third the arms decouple. You cannot block, attack, or cast spells or do anything requiring your hands in the first and third rounds of this spell. If the caster is killed during this, or if the arms are both severed while the dragon head is mostly formed; it may crawl off on its own to become a stunted regular dragon in the wild. This dragon will be very desperate to rejoin all dragon kind.

Once the head appears the caster may either bite at the nearest enemy, dealing 1d12+1 damage with a +2 to hit, speak or stare in the manner of dragons through this head (save vs stuns all kobolds nearby, opens dragon lair secret walls, etc.), or use a powerful breath weapon or spell. The color and type of dragon is randomly selected when you first learn this spell, and is always the same. The dragon that this spell treats itself as a caster level = HD, with that amount of power in its breath. The dragon head can cast magic that isn't just a breath weapon; the powers of dragons are numerous when tied to their elemental affinity and color.

The colors and types of dragons are randomly determined by using this dragon table. If the character is more Lawful, replace number 8 with the Holy dragon. If the character is more Chaotic or if magic is more dark and sinister in your setting, keep number 8 as the Blood dragon.

[6] Coffin of Chaos - 3^rd level

This spell requires a large wooden coffin to be carved and used as the focus for this spell. When cast, the spell creates a massive amount of energy within the coffin. Every round, the coffin's door slams open and something flies out. Roll each round on the table below. The creature or thing is always aimed at the direction the coffin's opening is, so the spell can be “aimed”, but is chaotic and could easily be deadly even to those who cast it. This coffin lasts for 6 rounds, or until it rolls two 8s on the table.

Coffin of Chaos Effects – 1d8

1. The Coffin spits out 1d8 Weird Skeletons. They are lifeless, but a necromantic pulse from the coffin could animated them into lifeless undead. Painted skeletons become helpful instead.
2. Swarm of buzzards fly from the coffin. Many of the buzzards know that this coffin produces food for them, and so some will reenter the magical portal inside after they have eaten. The buzzards don't do anything except circle ahead, but act as a shield against arrows and will attack undead dealing 1d6 damage as a swarm per round, picking off dead flesh for consumption.
3. The Coffin releases a cyclone of Death Energy, which circles around. The first round it travels in a straight line from the coffin as fast as a man can run. If you are struck by the tornado you take 1d6 damage and must save vs death or lose a level from level drain. Every round after the first, it travels in a random direction using a 1d8. 1 in True North, 3 is True East, 8 is North-West, etc. There is also a 1 in 3 chance that whenever something dies near the cyclone, it travels towards that being instead, with a higher chance if a more powerful high level or HD creature was slain; it is attracted to the deathly energy.
4. Necromantic Pulse. Pale green light illuminates everything within a 20ft cone of the coffin. If it hits any dead bodies, they rise as mindless undead.
5. 2d6 Undead Creatures come out of the coffin. The creatures are all of the same specific type of undead, who are weak to a specific element. The very next round, instead of rolling on the table, the coffin shoots out the element that destroys these creatures. For instance, if the coffin spewed out some Dry-Vine Skeletons, the next round it shoots out of a gout of flame. If the coffin released Clay Mask Mummies, then the next round it fires out a sandstorm with rocks and flung stones which deal physical damage, etc. The undead will all attack once and then be destroyed by the elemental discharge unless if the coffin is rotated to no longer aim at them. These elementally challenged undead are not under anyone's control when summoned.
6. Massive skeleton hand appears through the coffin, and throws a fistful of Magic Arrows. The arrows have 1d2 kinds of magic arrows, and the number of arrows fired is 1d6 per type. They seek or are thrown at random targets, though usually it will be someone near front facing to the coffin, as they are spotted first.
7. The Coffin emits a loud shriek. This attracts nearby attention, and lowers the AC of everyone by -2, which stacks any number of times this is rolled. Additionally, someone in the party has feverish dreams that night about an Ancient Evil, scrawling their name onto their own chest; scratched on by their blood nails.
8. The coffins hums ominously, but does nothing. Mark a checkmark on the coffin for this combat. If this is rolled again; Random Strange Item drops from the coffin; roll once on the list. The lid slams shut, and is found to be nailed shut with tin nails that can only be removed with a +1 claw hammer or equivalent. Many prefer to burn this one and get a new coffin.

[7] Hand of Punishment & Prudence - 3^rd level

This spell creates a giant glowing hand that flies forward from the caster's position towards a target. Whoever gets in the way of the hand will take the blow instead, so it can be blocked. Once it hits someone, the hand does a martial art moves that deals 1d6 damage. On a failed save, it also deals 1d2 debilitating special techniques to the person, which take a round each to clear up. The hand also performs its techniques in a specific martial arts style, which can be countered by someone who knows a superior style, giving them advantage on the saving throw.

[8] VampNight - 4^th level

Whenever this spell is cast, it must be cast at dusk just as the sun is going down. An eerie feeling extends over the surronding area; this spell can easily cover an entire town and the surrounding farms. After the first hour of quiet, vampires begin to appear. The vampires are not “true” vampiric beings by any means, they don't have much detail to their minds or bodies, appearing only with the most basic of physical traits. These false creatures however still thirst for human flesh, and attack anyone they can find; draining their blood for their eternal hunger.

Every exploration turn, or every 10 minutes, you must roll a 1 in 6 chance to have an encounter. The encounter will always be a group of vampires. If you are being very quiet (no spells, no animals, no children), make it a 1 in 8 chance. If you are hiding somewhere and being quiet, increase to a 1 in 10 chance. Every time you encounter vampires all the vampires you encounter will be of the same type. You encounter 1d6 Vampires at a time, attacking barricades to taste hot blood.

Every hour, the spell changes. Each hour, a randomly determined vampire bloodline is what people will encounter whenever they roll an encounter with vampires. The vampires will attack any living being with blood, and have a higher 1 in 4 or even 1 in 2 chance to be encountered for those trying to escape the radius of the spell. This spell lasts until dawn.

[9] Esoteric Polymorph - 4^th level

The caster is transformed into a Weird Monster form. You new body is very random, having many disparate elements, and you must roll a new body plan and all the appropriate limbs. You also must make two saving throws vs spells. On one success, you regain some of your mental ability while in this new form, and gain a random power on the Weird Monster Generator table. On two successes, you become an Elite version of the creature, gaining yet another ability. This spell lasts for up to an entire day, but can be ended early by resting in a calm place.

The Esoteric Polymorph changes people into weird monsters. You will be mentally forever changed by the experience. Shift the characters alignment one step towards Chaotic if appropriate, and/or permanently reduce their Wisdom by -1d4 points. This is only done the first time they use this spell, but continued use of the spell is like a drug, picking up more mannerisms and a calling to explore otherworldly places and speak to unnatural beings. If the number of times you've used this spell exceeds your Wisdom modifier, each season you have a 1 in 6 chance to disappear and return as an Other, you've lost your magic but have gained something far worse.

[10] Eaann's Magic Wand - 2^nd level

This spell conjures a silver magic wand. It has a random appearance, but is always made of or painted silver. This wand has the magic powers of a single type of Magic Rod in addition to the Magus Rod, rolled randomly when this wand is conjured. If you roll a 12, double the number of charges instead, and the wand is topped or hilted with a purple crystal. If this crystal is removed, the wand vanishes and the shard can be kept as a minor mana crystal of the weakest power level.

If your character masters this spell, you can shrink the size of the die with your favorite type of Rod taking up the spot of 1 on the table- roll a 1d8 or a 1d6 to get a better chance of your favorite, etc. Eaann's Wand disappears when lost or when all its charges are expended. It has 2d6+2 charges.