Showing posts with label Generator. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Generator. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 22, 2026

Magic Sandal Generator

All pairs of Magic Sandals start with;

  • Two identical, mostly-indestructible shoes that fulfill all the function needed for basic footwear.
  • Count as "Magic" 
  • Advantage to rolls when dealing with slippery terrain, crossing over ground-based hazards without hurting yourself (like pools of acid or caltrops), and rolls to avoid getting caught in quicksand, slipping on grease, or in snares.
  • Deals 1d4+1 Magic Damage Kicks with a Hard Sole OR Grants +2 to Stealth Rolls with a Soft Sole 
  • +1 AC 

The Sole- Roll d12 (Odd is Hard Sole, Even is Soft Sole)
[1] Gold (+2 to Saving Throws & Reaction Checks) Ornate, fit for a King or High Priest.
[2] Reptile Leather (Waterwalking, +25% Running Speed) Stylish.
[3] Wood (Can walk on Fire, Kick Holes in Flame Walls) Thick sides painted with bold symbols.
[4] Bamboo (+1 To-Hit & AC) Made for a Samurai. Somehow, decently protective.
[5] Stone (Deals 1d6+1 Kick Damage, Deals 2d10 if you jump on someone's head) Loud footsteps. 
[6] Magic Leather (+2 to Max HP and +1 Strength Modifier) Supple, spartan, earthen tones.
[7] Green Copper (Standing still grants Unmovable, +1 Constitutions modifier) Patina surface of ancient metal which has been cast-forged into a foot-like shape. Weirdly comfortable.
[8] Straw (Encumbrance Limit +25%, Immunity to desert Heat) Made for long treks.
[9] Glass (Can walk on Light, Kick destroy Illusions) Can stand on glowing bands of light, magical auras, on a laser beam if you dodge it, and so on. This can include your own spells.
[10]Palm Leaves (+2 to rolls to climb trees, move thru underbrush, immune to Entangling Roots) Any amount of foliage can support your weight. Surprisingly tough yet very flexible.
[11] Bone (Grants +1 Caster Level when casting Necromancy Spells, Kick can Turn Undead, Charisma modifier -1 while worn) What creature had feet like this?!
[12] Rubber (1d2+1 Improvised Weapon, Causes Fear) Made of some artificial, strange-smelling material that won't be invented for many centuries. Despite its light weight and lack of sharpness, brandishing one as a weapon in your hand spreads fear into your enemies.

The Straps - Roll d10 (Made of the same material for a Soft Sole Sandal)
[1] Thin (Running Speed increased by +50%, -1 AC) Digs into the flesh with fast movement.
[2] Gladiator (+1 to Saving Throws & Sandals can't be removed by anyone else) Secure.
[3] Magic Beads (Kick have +1 To-Hit and causes Save or Fall Prone) Rattles like a rainmaker.
[4] Silver (Grants extra Saving Throw or Immunity to Hold Person) Mystically breaks hypnosis and spells to keep one from moving. Could be lined with silver thread or actually pounded flat silver.
[5] Mesh (Immune to Arrow Pining and grants +1 AC vs Ranged Attacks) Makes it hard to see what way your foot is turned. Mule-style sandal with a thick strap. 
[6] Wand Loops
 (Can Store a wand parallel to the foot, activates stored spell upon Kick) Just remember, whatever spell comes from that wand will be cast point-blank...
[7] Toe-Ring (Can Swap with a Magic Ring to wear it on your toe, one per shoe) Sandal's straps converge around the big toe with a simple metal ring, giving the toe an air of importance.
[8] Knife Sheathes (Never surprised, +1 To-Hit on first attack) Can hold a medium sized dagger or throwing blade on one shoe. Also has a reservoir tip that keeps poison poured inside fresh.
[9] Complex (Grants +25% Magic Resistance) Complicated strap pattern wraps over the foot to create a mystic symbol. Need an Intelligence modifier of +1 or else you won't know how to take them off and need someone else to help you.
[10] Guillotines (Sandaled feet can detach from body and act independently) For the cost of one Hit-Point, you can tighten the straps to cut off your feet which can act separate from your body and walk around or kick. You cannot stand up or walk without aide while your feet or attached, and your body does not benefit from the magic of your sandals. Assume your feet have 10% of your maximum HP and cannot hear or see anything, but can make kick attacks, dodge and run as fast as you could while attached.

Accessory / Sandal Power / Extra - Roll d8
[1] Ankle Wings (Fly as fast as you can run) Classic for a reason.
[2] Shield Charm (Grants +4 AC for attacks against your legs) Cute & protective accessory.
[3] Mouse Hole (Can summon 1 Hit-Point Mouse which can pick basic locks) Will work for cheese.
[4] Heel Cymbals (Dispels one ongoing magic effect, takes a round) Click your heels for the chime.
[5] Spurs (Grant move speed bonuses to your mount & +1 Handle Animal checks) Riding gear.
[6] Toe Mirror (Reflects Slow or Hold Person Spells, Kicks can penetrate Shield spells) Useful for thieves to see under doors and to kick nerd Wizards. Also unbreakable, but easy to scratch.
[7] Gemstones (Can Store one spell up to 3rd Level, one per foot) Mystical reserves which have an internal glow when loaded with a spell. The gems hold great value on their own and could be pried off or used as spell-components.
[8] Sorcerous Depictions (Curses depicted enemy over time) Insole of canvas. If you draw someone you know on them, each time you take a step a tiny bit of magical damage is sent towards the victim; which they only feel as a subtle pressure. Each day does very little but with enough time or miles traveled will deal damage to their Charisma score as their face caves in or distorts as though trod upon over and over.

Thursday, July 31, 2025

TF2 Mercenary Generator

In this episode of "I thought I wrote this blogpost like 5 times over the past decade this blog has been around", I could have sworn I made this before. But time and time again I realize I never actually did. Time to amend that.

Team Fortress Mercenary Generator -
 (Roll Once per category unless otherwise stated)

Combat Role (Roll 1d10)
[1] Reconnaissance
[2] Mobile Infantry
[3] Shock-Troop / Terror Weapon
[4] Demolition
[5] Heavy Weapons
[6] Combat-Engineering
[7] Medic
[8] Long Range Specialist
[9] Espionage
[10] New Role. Roll again for general category (1-3 Offensive, 4-6 Defensive, 7-9 Support, 10 for an irregular) If you can't think of anything, make a Generalist.

Primary Weapon (Roll 1d8)
[1] Explosive
[2] Projectile (Non-Explosive)
[3] Shotgun
[4] Rifle
[5] Machine Gun
[6] Liquid / Gas "Thrower" Weapon
[7] Actually, their Melee is their main weapon. No primary weapon, secondary for ranged.
[8] Crucial gadget, tool, or piece of apparel that defines their Role. Roll 1d6 on the Secondary table for their main weapon they actually use to fight with.

Secondary Weapon (Roll 1d8)
[1] Sidearm (Pistol)
[2] Shotgun
[3] SMG
[4] Throwable
[5] Explosive
[6] Mobility or Escape Tool that accents their Role.
[7] Deployable Trap / Gadget that accents their Role.
[8] Roll again on Primary table and they just straight up get another one; because their "role" is to be overpowered and they just get two strong weapons, like Demoman.

Melee Weapon (Roll 1d6)
[1] Non-combat tool related to their Role
[2] Non-combat tool related to their Nationality
[3] Weapon related or often paired to their Role
[4] Traditional/Historical/Iconic weapon related to their Nationality
[5] Scavenged or Improvised
[6] Impracticable or Gag Weapon (or bare hands)

Class Gameplay Gimmick (Roll 1d8)
[1] Have innate immunity to something related to their role; like fall damage, drowning, fire, etc.
[2] Have an innate ability related to movement. (Double jump, slide, going prone, etc.)
[3] Tanky class or has an innate mechanic improving survivability.
[4] Have a powerful ability related to their role that has to charge up. Ubercharge.
[5] MAIN weapon has a very useful and/or interesting alt-fire.
[6] Class has to gather a resource for optimal play. (Metal, organs, heads, etc.)
[7] One or more of their items have a strong sci-fi twist. "Spytech".
[8] Has a subclass-defining unlockable for one of their weapon slots that totally changes how the class plays. If you can't think of anything, then they have a really funny taunt kill instead.

Art @Valve obviously. Check out the released concept art if you haven't!

Nationality / Stereotype Table
(Roll 1d50)
[1] Russian.
[2] Unknown, but seem rich & old money. Transatlantic accent, like an old movie.
[3]
 American. Southern. (Cowboy)
[4] American. Southern. (Cajun or Redneck)
[5] American. Boston.
[6] American. Chicago.
[7] American. Northern; Minnesota accent.
[8] American. New Yorker.
[9] American. California. Hippy.
[10] Native American. Yes with the "How" and the feather. Stereotypical but it's TF2.
[11] Canadian.
[12] Quebecois. Their only joke is getting offended by being called Canadian.
[13] Mexican. Desperado type. Poncho and sombrero, all that.
[14] Mexican. The exotic, passionate revolutionary type.
[15] Hawaiian.
[16] British. Posh.
[17] British. Cockney or "chav".
[18] Welsh. Their only joke is nobody understands what they're saying.
[19]
 Scottish.
[20] Irish, but mystical and Celtic and might be a Tuatha fairy person.
[21] Irish, but normal.
[22] French.
[23] Spanish.
[24] German.
[25] Italian; roll 1d2 for spicy meatball type or cool mafioso type.
[26] Swiss. Only joke is "not so neutral now, huh?"
[27] Brazilian.
[28]
 Polish.
[29] Finnish or other European micronation. Only joke; "nobody knows my country exists"
[30] Turkish.
[31] Egyptian. Has the kohl eyepaint and everything.
[32] Romani or "Gypsy" stereotype
[33] Arabic.
[34] Israeli.
[35] Greek.
[36] Sicilian.
[37] North African. 
[38] South African.
[39] Indian.
[40] Chinese. If you roll this a second time make the 2nd Merc from Taiwan for the banter.
[41] Australian.
[42] Mongolian. Has to have at least one taunt with throat singing.
[43] Korean. Might be North Korean spy.
[44] Japanese.
[45] Japanese. "Honorable Samurai" type and still pissed at WW2 given TF2's time period.
[46] Malaysia, Papua New Guinea or Sentinelese Islander. Only joke is cannibal.
[47] Swedish.
[48] Norwegian.
[49] Danish.
[50] Roll on Special Background Table.

Special Background Table (Roll 1d8)
[1] From the lost underwater nation of New Zealand.
[2] Wears a total body-concealing suit related to their role. True origin is a mystery.
[3] Unfrozen caveman. Go unga bunga. (or maybe the last yeti Saxon missed?)
[4] Very obvious vampire.
[5] Not so obvious time traveler. Gets confused about the TF2 time period, reveals future events in voicelines, but in a subtle and cool way. Spytech is just "normaltech" to them.
[6] Roll again on the Nationality table, but with a widely unexpected race, age, or phenotype.
[7] Roll again on the Nationality table, but this time... they're a woman!!! If you were planning on doing female Mercs anyway, then add some kind of disability like being blind, prosthetic, etc. instead.
[8] Roll again on the Nationality table, but they are even more stereotypical and have an even more outrageous accent. Are actually a spy for another Mercenary company undercover; poorly.

Character Personality Gimmick (Roll 1d10)
[1] Has a stable family, romantic interest, and mentally healthy. Extremely weird for TF2 Mercs.
[2] Has a little pet related to their Nationality or Role, carried in a special cage or pocket.
[3] Has a budding bromance with another class.
[4] Has an unhealthy obsession & rivalry with another class.
[5] Has a verbal tic or stutter or talk with a robot voice or whatever.
[6] Complains about an old war wound or is heavily scarred/burned.
[7] Has an artistic hobby unrelated to their work. Flipflops between terrible and really good.
[8] Extra substance abuse OR irrational phobia of something dumb like clowns or axe-wielding headless horsemen with flaming pumpkins for a head.
[9] Class gameplay gimmick is integral to the character's background, lore, or motivation. For example, their abilities are from a cursed bloodline, or they invented their Spytech gadget, etc.
[10] Obsessed with a food item related to their Nationality or cultural background. One of their unlocks is that food item, which provides appropriate buffs or benefits.

Example Generations- 

Russian Medic with Shotgun primary, explosive secondary,  Cossack shashka melee sword. Spytech gimmick. Phobia of spiders(?)
Throws healing bombs that blow up to burst heal. Radiation shotgun unlockable called "Kovarex Process" which shoots healing radiation bullets in a vertical spread sci-fi gun. Pinecone jelly unlockable which grants overheal and regular heal at the same time but much less. Stock shotgun. Klevet warhammer deals crit damage to those launched by healing bombs into the air like a reverse Market Gardener?

Chicagoan Long-Range Specialist with explosive primary, throwable secondary, gag weapon (pizza spatula), with an innate movement ability. Obsessed with foot (pizza) pizza unlockable regens.
Mortar bomber with metal implants in spine, can go into ragdoll when in the air to become immune to fall damage and fly faster ie; mortar jumping. Secondary undecided, probably an M79.

Cannibal Mobile-Infantry with Melee primary, mobility secondary, and impracticable/gag-weapon/barehands melee, spytech gimmick. Food obsession gimmick is people of course lmao.
Flies around with techno claws that rend opponents and give dash attacks like Psylocke from Marvel Rivals. Focus as "infantry" means frontline so probably needs some lifesteal or something but the dash and some free overheal can help.

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Table Potpourri - Mountains, Elves, & Blood

Encounters in the Yak Highlands

  1. Yak Outcasts (Who Ride Landsharks)

  2. Hobgoblins

  3. Veiled-Revenant

  4. Winter Leopard

  5. Blood Golem

  6. Fearsome Little-Bears (Dropbears?)

  7. Veiled-Men Assassins

  8. Bird Duelist (to the death this time)

Yak King's Reward

  1. Glowing Gemstone

  2. Golden Saddle

  3. Jade cut in the shape of a Horn

  4. Benevolent Bodice

  5. Bottle of Magic Cleansing Fire

  6. Honor & Renknown

Nearby Dungeon

  1. Young Tree

  2. Simple Keep

  3. Faded Star

  4. Hall of Statues

  5. Colorful Longhouse

  6. Goblin Hole (of Wonders)

Mercenary Table

#

Race

Specialty

1

Yak

Fighting

2

Yak

Fighting

3

She-Yak

Ranger

4

Human

Scout / Guide

5

Human (Veiled)

Thievery / Lockpicking

6

Eagle-Man

All-Rounder

7

Orc

Healer

8

Varl

Magic

Yak Name Generator

#

Part A

Part B

1

Green

Clod

2

Thunder

Braid

3

Spotted

Hoof

4

Stomp

Musk

5

Snow

Hump / Hill

6

High

Horn

Enemies in the Great Tree

#

Enemies

1

Cockroachlings

2

Fancy Veiled Outcasts

3

Elf Ghost Couple

4

Wood-Grain Shivers

5

Treants

6

Sugar-Glider Men

Elf Artifact

  1. Silver Knife

  2. Mask of Leaves

  3. Chameleon Skin

  4. Rod of Seasons

  5. Block of Holy-Wax

  6. Evergreen Decanter

Elvish Treasure Hoard

#

Elf Treasure

1

Silver Coins with Trees

2

Fine Silver Jewelry

3

Glowing Flasks of Elf-Gold

4

Pots of Healing Soils

5

Landscapes by Elvish Master-Painters

6

Spice of the Nightinghawk

Bird-Man Name Generator

#

Part A

Part B

1

Bright

Feather

2

Cloud(y)

Skies

3

Soar(ing)

Beak

4

Gale

Paradise

5

Wind

Swoop

6

Storm(y)

Talon

Powerful Organization

  1. Merchant's Guild

  2. Blood Cult

  3. Witch Coven

  4. The Watchmakers

  5. Whitefeather Mercenaries

  6. Blue City Watchdogs

Reason for Doing the Sidequest

  1. The Way is blocked until completed

  2. You don't know about the “main” quest yet

  3. Only way to appease the local rulers

  4. Special Knowledge = Too Dangerous to leave in bad guys hands

  5. Your character needs some cash first

  6. Special request by somebody really cute

The Artifact

  1. Heart-Shaped Crystal

  2. Cracked Chalice of Stone

  3. Ancient Horn

  4. Mummified Hand

  5. Lead Sheep

  6. Bag of Bloodied Coins

The Blood Cult's Warning

  1. “Leave this land and never return”

  2. Put a Curse in your Veins

  3. Defame you to the locals

  4. Stick you with an annoying familiar who watches your every move

  5. Give you a cursed collar that pushes a spike closer and closer to your throat each time you try to speak about them or warn the authorities

  6. Trap your mind in an unending nightmare

The Bloody Money

  1. Sends the Money back to the Cult

  2. Controls those who hold the money

  3. Enlightens the cult on whose blood who touches the money

  4. The Cult gains magical power by the money trading many hands

  5. Causes Supernatural Greed

  6. Done to please a Supernatural being who feeds on Greed

Cave Creature Captor Table

#

Creature

Reason

1

Troll Summoner

Eat you later

2

Ettin

Because you were trespassing

3

Blood-Crazed Orc Band

So it can give you a task

4

Giant Pythonic

Make you blood sacrifices

5

Yak Outlaws

Ransom (Doesn't know you)

6

Giant Spider

Ransom (Knows who you are)

Friday, April 22, 2022

Hand-Face-Hand Guard Generator


Every Hand-Face-Hand starts with;

  • TWO Hands (4 HD)
  • ONE Face (8 HD)
  • AC equal to its material
  • No Morale (Never Routs)
  • Cannot move
  • Each round- ONE Hand can act, and the Face acts. Then the other Hand acts next round. If you need more specific speed values- assume the hands are as slow as a golem.
  • If a Hand is defeated; the Face loses half of its remaining hit points. The other hand still only acts once every other round.
  • If the Face is defeated; both hands become inanimate and are defeated.
  • One Special Hand Attack. Either hand may use it on their move.
  • Alignment of True Neutral

Material Table - Roll 1d6
[1] Flesh (AC 10, +1 Initiative) Stapled or stitched. Or is this massive creature alive?
[2] Skeletal (AC 12, Undead, Can Turn on a hand to stun it or release grip) Bone hands of a giant.
[3] Stone (AC 18, Weak to Cold) Block, inorganic shape- its made of bricks.
[4] Metal (AC 16, Weak to Lightning) Giant animated armor; or a clockwork automaton.
[5] Wood (AC 14, Weak to Fire) Carved wooden pieces; took a shipwright to make this.
[6] Djinn Skin (AC 12, Gains 50% Resistance to one Element, Eye Blasts deal 1d8 damage of this element) Has a color matching its element; Red skin for Fire, White for Ice, Blue for Lightning; etc.

Face Table - Roll 1d6
[1] Darkness (+1 AC) Empty hole- or the eyes and lips float on a black smokey mass.
[2] Serene Mask (+25% Magic Resistance) Placid features while it crushes you in its grip.
[3] Giant Crystal (Casts Spells as though one Caster-Level Higher) Glows with energy.
[4] Animal Head (Hands have +1 to Hit and Damage) Is it an idol to a long lost god?
[5] Big Eyeball (Sees Invisible, Cannot be Surprised, Face takes double damage when hit directly) Looks angry and scary but it's really just a big dumb weakpoint.
[6] Gibbering Mouth (Both hands get different Special Hand Attack- roll once for each hand. If you cannot escape a hand's Grip after one round- will bring you to the mouth and bite in a save vs death) It chews that air and flicks its tongue crazily, but says nothing.

Special Hand Attack Table - Roll 1d8
[1] Morph (Turns Hand into Giant Weapon, deals 1d10 damage) Hand into hammer, axe, or sword.
[2] Got-Your-Nose (Silences one party member- cannot cast spells) Holds their voice for one round.
[3] Rocket Fist (As Punch, but holds until next round. Deals 1d12 damage) Shakes as it charges.
[4] Snap (Random character must save or take 2d6+2 Damage) Something tears within from the echoing snap- immune if you're deaf. Powerful Gestural Magic.
[5] Spider (Hand "runs" around the arena on fingers, knocking people prone and dealing 1d4 damage) Skitters on fingers like a giant spider- this move happens once more when the Hand is defeated.
[6] Power Palm (Save or be pushed back along a straight line) Creates a ghostly hand that pushes you along like a forcewall. Add spikes along the wall or a pit around the edge of arena for more "fun".
[7] Finger Gun (As Magic Missile) Might be a little on the nose for a fantasy setting; if you don't like the idea of "Finger Guns" being taken seriously, just make it a finger of death style point instead.
[8] Rock-Paper-Scissors Duel (Play RoShamBo with the DM. If you lose, hand gets a free hit against you, otherwise you get a free hit against this hand) Playful.

Combat Rules
The Hand-Face-Hand is an immobile guardian meant to protect one room, doorway, or important item. The Face hovers above a platform / or is suspended by a large upper torso and is out of reach of melee weapons except for spears, polearms, whips, etc. Any "Attack" uses an attack roll to hit, otherwise a "Move" just happens.

Hand Actions - Roll 1d6
[1] Slap - Attacks two or three targets in a row. On hit, deals 1d6 damage and knock victims prone.
[2] Punch - Attack. On a hit, deals 1d8 damage and knocks the victim back (and prone).
[3] Special Hand Attack - (See above)
[4] Block - Move. Raises a palm to block incoming ranged attacks and spells for the face. They damage the hand instead, using its AC and damage resistance values.
[5] Grip - Move. Save or be gripped by the hand. If you are grabbed, you are squeezed for 1d10 damage each round until the hand takes at least 10 damage to release you. Supernaturally strong characters (+3 Strength) can roll to break free. Prone characters are immune.
[6] Slam - Move. Hovers a balled fist over someone, then slams down. If you're standing you can just move away, if you're prone you'll need help or have Dex +1 to jump away in time. If you get hit by the slam you just die- or deals 3d10 damage or something.

Face Actions - Roll 1d4
[1 or 2] Eye Blasts - Attack. On a hit, deals 1d6 magic damage. If the "Face" is a giant crystal, this can be a big energy beam instead to make it look cool.
[3] Observe - Leans in to observe the party closer. The Face and Hands gain +1 To Hit each time it does this for the rest of the battle. Also an opportunity for you to attack the face.
[4] Casts a Random Spell. The Face has a total number of spells equal to its HD.

Monday, November 1, 2021

Trickster Generator


All Tricksters begin with;

  • 1+1 HD
  • AC of 14
  • Morale of 7
  • +1 To-Hit
  • Hidden Weapon at 1d3
  • Casts Spells 
  • Alignment of Chaotic Neutral

Trickster's Form - Roll 1d8
[1] Bipedal Cat (+1 AC, no fall damage) Like puss in boots. Can also talk.
[2] Kitsune (Casts Change Self at will, Fox form) All of its forms have a fox's tail.
[3] Imp (Unlimited Eldritch Blast at 1d4, Alignment Shifts to Evil) Burns flowers while laughing.
[4] Gnome (Can disappear or turn invisible once per day) Has the stereotypical hat.
[5] Goblin (Rides a 1 HD giant rat) Diseased, depraved, pathetic. Typical goblin.
[6] Kobold (+2 to saves, has +1 Escape Tool) Clever little bastard.
[7] White-Faced Monkey (+1 AC, +1 To-Hit & Damage) Medium sized monkey; face like porcelain. Communicates through hand signs since it can't talk.
[8] Leprechaun (Reroll any failed save once per day, pot o' gold) Will offer you a pot of gold to spare it the first time you manage to catch it- will do almost anything to get it back.

Trickster's Skill - Roll 1d8
[1] Lockpicking (+1 To-Hit) Quick hands, little toolbelt.
[2] Pickpocketing (2 in 6 chance to steal something important on first reaction check) Cheeky.
[3]
Tumbling / Juggling (Can Move Thru in combat, wins chases) Even more slippery then normal
[4] Disguise (Can appear as a common lone monster or random human NPC) Wears little stilts.
[5] Bushcraft / Survival (Has a 1d4+1 shortbow) Good at tracking, and avoiding being tracked.
[6] Poisons (Poisons their knife with save or take 1d6 damage + vomit for a round) Burnt fingertips.
[7] Magic / Lore (Knows an extra 1st level spell, casts spells as though one level higher) Forehead is inscribed with an arcane rune.
[8] Appraisal (Knows what the first magic item you try to use against him does) Has one of those zoom-in monocle eye-glass thingies.

Trickster's Special Ability - Roll 1d8
[1] Can mimic voices.
[2] Can make its shadow look like the shadow of anything else.
[3] Can turn invisible for one turn, once per day. If Gnome; can stay invisible indefinitely.
[4] Can squeeze under doorways/into tight cracks.
[5] Can hide a magic wooden nickel in your coinpurse. He can "hear" what it hears.
[6] Can tap doors or chests to unlock them or lock them. If their skill is lockpicking- they can also use this on magical locks.
[7] Can entrance one person while it plays an instrument. They can't move, attack, or cast spells and have to just listen. Effect ends if music stops or if they are hurt while listening.
[8] Can transform into a terrifying 4 HD Where The Wild Things Are style fluffy ogre monster if it gets really pissed off. It can't choose to enter this state, you have to antagonize the trickster, foil too many of their plans, or back them into a corner with no escape.

Why can't you just walk up and stab him? - Roll 1d8
[1] The minion of a much more powerful monster.
[2] Has hidden the mind/soul of an important person in setting- their body is a husk without it.
[3] You owe him a big favor.
[4] He owes you a big favor/a lot of money/a magic item.
[5] Knows an important bit of information and isn't sharing.
[6] Has a deadly/awful curse that will spread to whoever slays him.
[7] You can, so he has to plan for it. (+1 Escape Tool)
[8] You can, but he is cursed with immortality. After each death he returns, he has -1 maximum HP and looks more ragged and decayed each time. Once he reaches 0 HP he becomes a pathetic, impotent spirit.

Escape Tool Table - Roll 1d6
*Note: Only roll on this table if another table told you to. Each Escape Tool can only be used once unless otherwise stated, and the Trickster will use it intelligently if they can.
[1] Smokebag of Sleep - Makes purple cloud that casts Sleep on anyone who breathes it.
[2] Wand of Fling - Flings what it is pointed at upwards up to 30 ft- up to an elephant. Three charges.
[3] Mirror Talisman - Reflects the first spell cast on them back to the caster, then shatters.
[4] Darkjar - Sucks up to 1d6+1 people into a magical jar. You're trapped inside for 3 turns, then return to normal size and bust out. Breaking it early also frees whoever is in.
[5] Decoy Log - Makes a Ninjitsu log that absorbs one attack. The user is teleported 15 feet away in a little puff of smoke. This log can be used retroactively after the To-Hit and Damage.
[6] Floating Umbrella - Allows for gentle gliding from any height. Could work on something as big as a human, but only if they were totally unencumbered. Used unlimited times until it gets wet.

(Optional) Trickster's Lair - Roll 1d6
[1] Stereotypical dungeon-floor. Zero monsters; filled with only dangerous traps.
[2] Wing of a mansion. Lots of treasure.
[3] Hidden workshop. Need to crawl to get in; tons of gizmos and unfinished parts.
[4] In an old rotten tree. Bigger on the inside. Mushroom garden feeds on old bark.
[5] Inside the belly of a whale/dragon/hibernating bear. Crawls in when they're asleep.
[6] Within a dollhouse.

(Optional) What big trick is he trying to pull on you? - Roll 1d6
[1] Awaken his master or an ancient evil.
[2]
Activate a magic curse so he can switch his weak body with a stronger one.
[3] Scam the realm during a crisis; becoming so wealthy that a dragon would be jealous.
[4] Find a trapped genie for him, so he can wish for his heart's desire.
[5] Stealing something from its rightful owner so he can misuse it.
[6] To humiliate and bamboozle you; simply because it's funny.

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Flying Cosmic Fortress Generator

Above the world; above the sapphire mountains, above the sky-lands, above even the realms of dawn and dusk- there are the cosmic realms. Space, with glowing stars and planets and cosmic streams. These places, so far away that no mortals, or even immortals from your realm scarcely go.

For one reason or another, you've ended up here. But this realm is too abstract and deadly for a living thing; it is infinite and boundless in all directions and ways. There are Fortresses here; anchors of sanity and reality in this hostile place. These flying castles all look artificial, created from wood or brick or platinum- like flying fortresses in the cosmic void.


Flying Cosmic Fortresses
These cosmic fortresses are flying on the astral/cosmic realms. It's basically outer space, but remember this is fantasy outer space. Gravity is still down, you can breath in the air (it's cold and sterile), it's warm enough to not freeze, and so on. However, these effects that protect beings only exist in and a short distance outside it. If you "fell" off the fortress you'd fall down into the void and then float around like it was outer space.

The Fortresses themselves are totally alone and isolated. It's not possible to leave one without some kind of powerful magic or divine aide. You are within a far realm now; distant and separated from the Gods and Spirits of your home world. All Cleric spells and magic is cast as though the caster is a level lower.

To create a Flying Cosmic Fortress; roll once on each table below.

What does the Flying Cosmic Fortress look like? - Roll d20
[1] Fortress carved into a single giant stone.
[2] Stereotypical castle with a moat that endlessly drops water into the void.
[3] Ancient jungle temple.
[4] Huge overgrown tree or plant, windows carved into branches and stems.
[5] Giant Mansion floating in space.
[6] Multiple towers w/ Spinnerets.
[7] Like a giant bee hive or insect nest. Original inhabitants may or may not be exterminated.
[8] Crafted from metal, roughly bolted together.
[9] Looks like a giant crystal. All the "windows" here are colored as the crystal is. Random Color.
[10] Like a giant sailing ship. Like the ark, but huge-er and in space.
[11] Artificial donut shape from smooth stone. Normal gravity; down.
[12] Looks like a weird dark mass, undulating in space. Inside is a little better.
[13] Icosahedron sphere. Made of brass and exotic metals. Many inner chambers.
[14] Like a miniature city- brims with magictech lights.
[15] Glacier. Crevice leads to interior. Endless blizzard 5 in 6 turns on top.
[16] Looks like a chunk ripped from the normal world; a grassland with a small house on it. The edge just drops into void. House houses tunnel to interior dungeon inside the whole thing.
[17] Giant chained body of some space whale or other horrible giant creature from the depths of the cosmic realms. May or may not still be alive.
[18] Massive yawning cave entrance. The inside is subterranean, but has a large central chamber that looks out into the void. From inside, looks like a giant mouth kinda.
[19] Looks like a giant dark cube from the outside. Doors on the sides sheer-drop into void. No balconies, but sides are not perfectly smooth. Butt-clenching jumps on the outside.
[20] Separate chambers connected with large colorful tubes of various lengths and sizes. Looks like a god damn McDonald's playplace.

What's this Flying Cosmic Fortress's Special Feature? - Roll d8
[1] Fortress is a sphere. Gravity similar to our moon regardless of size. Think Mario Galaxy.
[2] It's really, really big. Megadungeon.
[3] Has a secondary fortress with the same designs as the first connected to it by a long chain.
[4] Built on/in/around a giant dead/sleeping megaverse giant God thing.
[5] Has a guidance system and could eventually be flown around like a really cool starship.
[6] Has a Room of Requirement like effect. Safe rooms or fresh water chambers appear when adventurers seek them. The rooms stop appearing if abused.
[7] The bottom has a second fortress, inverse gravity, light/dark world, etc. Roll again on the appearance table for the other side.
[8] Race of intelligent, neutral beings live there called the Curators. Use the Fantasy Race Generator to give them an appearance. They live in the walls, perform maintenance, and may believe the otherworldly entity who governs this place created them (it probably didn't).


What can you see in the Void next to this Flying Cosmic Fortress?
- Roll d12
[1] Black hole sucking up light. Fortress is not at risk. Don't fly off that direction.
[2] Several small "islands" of the same design as the main Fortress.
[3] Huge metal scaffolding and frames connected to island; possibly interstellar dock?
[4] It's surrounded by a nebula cloud; hard to see through.
[5] Field of undead servitors. Spaced apart evenly; a spherical defense grid.
[6] Shipwrecked hauls of space boats.
[7] Giant tentacles coming out of black portals. Fingers of an old one- mostly inactive.
[8] Swirling "winds" of elemental or magical energy. Turbulent approach.
[9] Buoys or signposts- hinting at dangers or distances.
[10] Stars. They are extra bright around this Fortress, making it dazzling.
[11] Nothing.
[12] Absolutely nothing.

What kind of Dangers are in this Fortress? - Roll d10
[1] Mechanical traps. Has a gravity changing puzzle that can fling you into void if you fuck up.
[2] Contains a cosmic forge or engine. Sporadically releases intense magic radiation.
[3] It's crumbling or being eroded by cosmic nothingness. Watch your step.
[4] Eternal guardian statue-people things. Only attack if you break "rules". Laser eyes.
[5] It has been used as storage for all manner of dangerous and cursed magic items.
[6] Infested with cosmic pests. Dangerous, only because cosmic. Think this blogpost.
[7] The place is partially cloaked in layers of astral space; the player-characters own ego and personal experiences begin to warp the place and manifest. Think Silent Hill.
[8] Fortress Stalkers. Monsters that are made of the same material and look just like parts of the fortress. Slink around silently and try to kill people. Native to this place.
[9] Otherworldly phenomena like time dilation, gravity anomalies, recursive hallways, non-euclidean geometry and more. Has a paradox contained within crystal; mostly safe.
[10] Masses of reactive elemental slime. Colored as element. Deal 1d6 damage of a random element when touched or disturbed. On a roll of 6, you suffer an extra effect.

How did you get to this Flying Cosmic Fortress? - Roll d6
[1] Walked through an unmarked portal / doorway in space-time.
[2] Extreme spell failure / broke a major magical artifact and this was the result.
[3] Took the Airship up too high. It can't come down without special preparations.
[4] It wasn't flying at first. Activated some dungeon's mechanism; it lifted off.
[5] Willing accepted a challenge from a powerful otherworldly entity to win favor. (Roll subtable)
[6] Unwillingly whisked away at the whim of some powerful otherworldly entity. (Roll subtable)

(Subtable) Why did some Supernatural being send you here? - Roll d6
[1] To test your resolve against difficult challenges.
[2] To perform some minor bit of "house keeping" that it doesn't want to do itself.
[3] To observe your kind in action up close and personal.
[4] To punish or execute. If you manage to survive, it will be impressed and let you go.
[5]
To participate in a multiverse tournament battle to the death!
[6] It made a mistake when trying to teleport you somewhere else. 1 in 1000 chance if you teleport via genie you end up here instead. Takes 2d6 days for it to find you again.

Oh and if you want a quick way to understand and suck up the exact artstyle and feel I'm going for, just go play Amid Evil.

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Lich Generator

All liches begin with;

  • 5 HD
  • AC of 12
  • Morale of 14
  • +3 To-Hit
  • One Death Touch attack per round. Save vs Death to avoid.
  • Immune to Necrotic Damage / Death-Spells
  • Casts Spells x2 (Has Twice as many spells as its HD should)
  • One Signature Spell
  • Immortality - Returns after Death (Can only be slain permanently if its Phylactery is destroyed)
  • Powerful Numen - Treat HD as 10 for purposes of Magic Spells/Special Moves/Etc.
  • Undead Minions (10x1d4 HD worth of Undead encountered with the Lich if not surprised)
  • Alignment of Lawful Evil

The Death Touch - Roll d6 to determine what kind of Death Touch this Lich has
[1] Dark Flame (Deals 3d6 fire damage on hit, cannot heal naturally) Cold, black fire.
[2] Black Bolt (Deals 2d8 shock damage on hit, attack chains to next nearest enemy with zero To-Hit bonus until an attack fails) Crackling, life-seeking lightning jumps from the lich's fingers.
[3] Cruel Ice (Deals 2d6 Ice damage on hit, save again or limb touched is frozen solid. If limb is struck with blunt weapon; shatters and is destroyed. Limb must be dethawed with warm fire, or a torch that has had Healing Potion drizzled over it) Freezing touch that locks joints into place.
[4] Necrotic (Deals 3d6 damage, save again on hit or have 1d6 levels drained) The power of the dead, sapping life from the living. Each time this death-touch hits, the Lich looks more whole and alive as he saps your life force, but it quickly rots away within mere hours. It is a living black hole.
[5] Corrupting (Deals 4d4 damage on hit, save again or shift alignment one step towards Evil, if Evil save or be Dominated by the Lich) The Lich's body pulses with the centipedes and unholy creatures crawling underneath its skin. The lich's touch sends them into your own body, corrupting you.
[6] Aging (Ages victim 2d20 years on hit, rusts and spoils equipment that isn't Magic) This Death-Touch doesn't deal direct damage, but ages the victim. Everything they're carrying also ages at the same rate; food spoils, potions go flat, metal rusts to nothing. Only eternal items are safe. has no direct effects but characters of advanced age for their species will probably take stat penalties, or just fall over dead.

Decaying Form - Roll d8
[1] Skull Face (+1 AC, +1 Morale) Living body with a bloody skeletal face, as though flayed.
[2] Corpulent (+1 HD, Can Float out of melee; hit by reach) Filled with corpse-gas.
[3] Mummy (Roll a 2nd Signature Spell) Bandages adorned with arcane symbols
[4] Rotten (+2 To-Hit, Inflicts Random Disease on hit with Death Touch) Rotting flesh.
[5] Wraith (Ethereal - Can only be hit with Magic weapons. Turn Undead is twice as effective) Not a physical form, but a smokey, cloaked wraith with glowing eyes. More vulnerable to the spirit.
[6] Cancerous (Resistant to Elements; takes half damage from Fire, Shock, Frost) Its bulbs and tumors are filled with all sorts of pus; arcane experiments on this disposable shell.
[7] Skeleton Jelly (Doesn't lose its body after dying- instead just regenerates from the single smallest remaining piece of itself. Phylactery gives it memory, Alignment to Neutral Evil) The Lich is a skeleton jelly- a skeleton with a goopy outer shell containing everything it was and is.
[8] Grafted (+3 Hit Points, has Sword attack at 1d6, doesn't count as Undead until harmed) Body is made up of many borrowed limbs, surgically attached. Detects as a living person until some of its stitches are split and ichor spilled. May be disguised as a regular person or adventurer.

Dark Artifact - Roll d10
The Lich carries the Dark Artifact on its person at all times. If killed, the artifact will drop with the Lich, and the Lich will become very angry at it being stolen- it will attempt to recover it with whatever means necessary. All Dark Artifacts are cursed; living beings who touch them must save or die unless its wrapped in white cloth.
[1] Sacrificial Dagger (1d4+1 Magic, steals one prepared spell on hit) Cruel wizard killer.
[2] Vial of Pure Darkness (All light sources dimmed nearby) Trapped primordial darkness.
[3] Chaos Medallion (Generate a Chaos Medallion) This Lich is a champion of evil gods.
[4] Witch Finger (Enemies get -2 to spell saves, Increase die size for all dice of Death Touch) Worn around the neck like a talisman.
[5] Capirote (Has two Necromancer apprentices at 4 HD / level- they cast Spells) Tall conical cap, black, like a cultist. Enslaves the minds of the foolish, and promises immortality through death.
[6] Flask of Unholy Water (Deals 1d6 damage if splashed on Good beings, restores 2d6 hit points to undead creatures) Dark, stagnant water. Water placed within becomes unblessed in 1d6 turns.
[7] Yew Wand (Spells deal +2 damage, Gains 1d6 Magic Blast attack at range - Requires To-Hit roll and deals damage typed as Necrotic) The Yew tree is poison and associated with dark magic.
[8] Stained Ring (Grants 25% Magic Resistance, alignment shifts toward Chaotic while worn) Golden ring that can never seem to be cleaned. The stains change every time you inspect it.
[9] Turnkey Raven (Delivers messages to minions; can carry things weighing less then 1 pound, indestructible) Lifelike raven with a turnkey slot. One crank lets it fly anywhere in the world.
[10] Skull Staff (1d4+1 Magic Staff, Necromancy spells deal +2 damage, can rattle the staff and raise up a corpse into a basic 1 HD skeleton or 2 HD zombie depending on its condition) Generic humanoid skull on a black wood staff. Charged with necromancer's power.

Signature Spell - Roll d8
[1] White Legion
The caster raises both their arms above their head and commands their army to rise. Every round, 1d10 skeletons (1 HD with 1d6 decayed weapons) rise from ancient soils- this effect continues even after the round the spell began, it's a constant effect, allowing the caster to fight while the ancient dead pour in from below.

This lasts until 100 skeletons have been raised or the ground is sanctified by a Holy Sword being shoved into the soil to stop the spell.

[2] Dispel Hope
Caster holds out their hand and strikes all within the range of their vision in front of them in the moment of casting. All struck become filled with despair, and loses a part of their will to live. Everyone hit by the spell has -2 to all saving throws. In addition; anyone under its effects automatically fails saves vs death if they have 50% of their hit points remaining. All Hirelings struck by this wave must also make a morale check to flee. On success, they stand their ground but lose -1 Loyalty.

This spell lasts until a rowdy fireplace song, a strong religious experience, or an exhilarating celebration of life.

[3] Electric Blue Tendrils
When cast, electric tendrils appear. Breaking free requires a supernatural level of Strength (+3 or greater) or several cuts with an axe or sword with a rubber handle. Each round you are trapped you take 2d8 shock damage. Trying to cut the tentacles with something not insulted will shock your hand instead, dealing 1d8 damage. The spell can target up to three human sized targets, or two significantly larger targets- assume each target has 1d4+2 tentacles wrapping around them- consider the tentacles as 1 HD creatures. This spells lasts for 3 rounds, or until all the tentacles are dead.

Most Lich spells are based on the dark arts of necromancy, or at least are powerful curses. Not this one. This spell conjures tentacles from random places they can crop up in the area; out from sand, poking up from sewer drains, out of boxes and bags, etc. These tentacles are being pulled in by an otherworldly entity, and are charged with unusual energies.

[4] Finger Beam
This spell is a ranged, nigh-inescapable version of the Death Touch attack the Lich has. The Lich's finger glows and fires out a beam that curves, sweeps, and spirals towards its target in a flashy rainbow lightshow. Save vs beams with disadvantage, or else you are hit with its effect.

If a PC or somebody else learns this spell, then the finger beam will do the same damage as their finger possibly could on a hard poke- so one damage if you aim for the eyes or something. You need to already have badass dark magic powers for this to be good, sorry.

[5] Pillars of Zircon
Conjures forth 2d6+2 pillars made of a strange, dull silvery metal. They rise from the ground, and are just about round enough for a man to stand on. The caster can ensure one appears under them on the round the turn this spell is cast, letting them ascend upwards.

These pillars can block an attack- consider each to have an AC of 14 and 2 HD in terms of raw durability. They are also totally immune to corrosion, and acidic or corrosive powers nearby them fail and weaken. You take -1 damage from acid attacks and spells if you're in the same room as the pillars, half damage if you are touching or standing on a pillar, and no damage from acid at all if you're standing among the pillars. Acidic liquid would turn to nasty water if splashed into the pillars, and the acid breath of a dragon would just turn into harmless wisps of vapor.

Note: These pillars don't do anything for the Lich's own Death Touch- as the only corrosive effect comes from magical aging. It does however seem to work against effects that speed up or create effects of advanced decay on undead creatures. Spells that putrefy are cancelled by these pillars.

[6] The Backwards Arm Curse
The target of this spell has all of their arms turn around backwards. The joints snap back (but don't cause damage). The arms will attack enemies of the spellcaster, and the victim of this spell is helpless to control his arms- the first round this spell is cast the arms will likely attack whoever was behind the target of this spell- stabbing and slashing with their own weapons- the cursed arms get the same attack bonuses, special moves, and magic items or weapons that the hands could have used. This means a powerful Fighter having their arm cursed means they'll attack with full strength to anyone who gets close enough- Meanwhile, the target of this spell loses their attacks or abilities that require hands, but still controls their voice and legs, so they can move others and warn them about their loss of control.

If the victim of this spell focuses all of their energies, they can make a saving throw vs spells to snap one of their arms back into place and regain control over it. Each arm takes a round to bring under control in this way.

[7] Orbs of Torment
This spell conjures forth three balls of dark energy; flashing with red lightning. The three orbs are summoned at the casting of this spell, but can be flung one orb per round by a simple point of a finger or order by the spellcaster. The orbs move slow enough that they can be avoided by running your full combat round away from them; no save otherwise.

These orbs are magical orbs of Torment. When they hit a living thing, they cut their current hitpoints by half. Getting struck by Torment feels like a mix of torture and exhaustion all over.

[8] Grotesque
This spell can be cast on anything within a stone's throw. Intelligent and living targets of this spell inherently resist it automatically if they are unwilling, as pretty much any living thing would object to being made into a Grotesque. If you are currently Dominated by the Lich, they you cannot resist the transformation. 

This spell utterly warps the subject, turning it into something loathsome and grotesque, hence its namesake. If this spell is cast on inanimate matter, it would turn it into a roughly animated golem or animated object(s) with stretched smiles, wrinkled faces, and cartoonish and frightening expressions. Living things are similarly made cartoonish, but always somewhat offensive and a sort of innate frightfulness like things that are scary to children. The Grotesque also acts like a caricature; its assumed and actual traits from before it was transformed taken to a absurd degree. For example, a Nobleman turned into a Grotesque would be very fat, lazy, and scream at everyone to pay taxes or order his "guards" (other monsters nearby) to take off their heads. All Grotesques are assumed to be Chaotic Evil, but will serve a more powerful master- a creature with higher HD. Remember; the Lich that made this thing counts as 10 HD for spells like this; so it will serve the Lich even if the Lich is more feeble then the Grotesque.

The subject of this spell becomes a 6 HD Grotesque, with stats befitting its nature. If it had a higher HD before, then roll 6 HD and keep whichever Hit-Point Total is higher. The Grotesque gains a few magic attacks, can cast Spells, and has an AC and other stats/resistances based on its composite material, or once again based on whatever it had before it was transformed in the case of a living thing. For example, a Grotesque made of a pile of bricks would be slow, but have high AC, and can throw bricks at 1d4+1 damage at range, twice per round. Grotesques are not undead, but are considered supernatural evil creatures and can be Turned / Exorcised as undead can.

The Grotesque also has innately has three abilities;

  • Aura of Cowardice which unnerves the weak willed; retainers must make a morale check or flee the first time they are hit by one of its attacks or spells.
  • Aura of Hate, which makes enemy spells and attempts to Turn Undead or cast holy magic have a 50% chance to fail within its presence, which lasts until it dies.
  • Black Speech, which just means the Grotesque is constantly speaking, insulting, and generally saying awful things. Every round, it has a 1 in 6 chance to send a Curse at you, based on what it says.

Turning someone or something into a Grotesque is permanent. If you slay a Grotesque and are of Lawful or Good alignment, the Gods will reward you by curing any curse or disease you are suffering from in that moment for your service in smiting something so awful, or hopefully remove some of the curses you got for fighting it.

What are this Lich's signature kind of undead minion? - Roll d10
[1] Plague rats. Like thirty thousand. Not really undead, but can swarm and fill rooms like water.
[2] Skeletons. The Lich is constantly frustrated by their bumbling antics and awful bone puns.
[3] Zombies. Specifically, ones with iron parts, tools, and weapons nailed into their flesh.
[4] Mummies. Desiccated corpses raised on mass from ancient evil desert tomb.
[5] Corpse-Golem. Roughly stitched together, raised in an industrial assembly line.
[6] Animal skeletons. You don't see this as much as you think you should. Bone birds still fly.
[7] Black Puddings. Has one really big one that ate most of the others, named Princess.
[8] Ghosts. "Keeps" all of them in one really cursed mirror. Don't break it, seriously.
[9] Tomb-Golems. Always in the forms of religious figures; animated creatures but technically undead as the souls and blood are infused within the stones. Can't move while you look at them.
[10] Grotesques. Just a few handfuls of them, each a totally unique bastard to deal with. Normally these "fluff" tables at the end don't change the monster stats- but you should probably give the Lich the Grotesque spell if you get this option so it makes sense.

How has this Lich been spending its Centuries in Undeath? - Roll d8
[1] You know, catching up on chores, reading, taking some time to itself. Still.
[2] Plotting world domination, of course.
[3] Uncovering arcane secrets. It's Signature Spell is one of many prototypes they've invented.
[4] Involved in a complex string of plots with another immortal creature; friendly rivals.
[5] Becoming the absolutely uncontested master in a game that nobody plays anymore.
[6] Learning how to play musical instruments. All of them.
[7] Opening tiny accounts in all the world's banks, accumulating massive interest over centuries, and starting wars by sending out chain letters and fake notices of inheritance over them.
[8] Mapping of the next life. Every time it "dies" it has some time to explore around the next hill or talk to the next weird angel spirit-guide thing. Isn't mad when you kill its body.

What is the Lich's Phylactery? - Roll d20
[1] Pin stuck in a stuffed heart stuffed in a doll stuffed in the belly of a stuffed dog.
[2] Really old tortoise. May or may not be undead; hard to tell.
[3] One shard of a broken magic sword in a museum owned by haughty nobles.
[4] Its diary from when it was alive. Protects it for embarrassing secrets more then anything.
[5] The old church bell that hasn't rung right for over a century.
[6] Its soul inhabits its manse. Burn the house down; the lich's soul burns with it.
[7] Tarnished silver coin; face of a queen with a cheeky wink. In some random bank vault.
[8] Jet gemstone. Dodecahedron cut.
[9] Looks like an owl chick with glowing red eyes, cowers in an old oak tree's hollow center.
[10] Very old, fat blind koi in the lich's serene garden pond.
[11] Vial of pure spring water. Drink it and the Lich will hunt you down before you can piss it out- which is what actually counts as destroying it. Otherwise, your blood will go in the next vial.
[12] Magic necklace with a glowing purple amethyst. Gives sweet magic bonuses, to dissuade people from destroying it.
[13] Black ooze in a shadowy corner. Takes the form of a viper with a poison bite if you approach it. Cut off its head to slay the lich for good.
[14] Ceremonial golden plaque on the cornerstone of a castle, which the lich helped fund for a good king a long time ago. Too arrogant to use a pseudonym.
[15] One black scale on a white dragon. The dragon knows about it- and keeps it on its body in exchange for a lot of juicy treasure.
[16] Eternal flower kept in a glass case. One petal falls off each time the lich feels any remorse for its actions; it will also die permanently if all the petals fall off. 1d6 petals are left.
[17] Golden tooth kept in its body. Most people take it and sell it- its enchanted to be totally immune to fire so if people try to melt it down the lich can just retrieve it later when they reform.
[18] Electrified heart, in a box. If you touch it or bring a metal weapon within an inch; shocks you with 1d8 damage as a kind of defense mechanism. Stab it with wood, or just shoot it with an arrow.
[19] Tiny little 3 year old, blonde w/ pigtails, totally innocent villager girl. Enchanted to be eternally young and continually orphaned when her adoptive parents die of "random undead attacks". It's supposed to be a moral conundrum to kill her to stop the lich but if you just get her to drink some holy water it kills the lich's soul inside while she is totally unharmed.
[20] The Moon. Fuck you.

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Magic Shield Generator

This generator can be used to generate magic shields. If it's a regular magic shield of +1, it will have its Base AC for its size, plus any material or face modifiers, and then +1 to its total AC. If it's a magic shield +2 or a special artifact magic shield found in the depths of a tomb or something; then it also gets a Shield Power.


Shield Size & Base AC Value -
Roll d3
[1] Buckler / Roundshield - +1 AC (Use in a Grapple)
[2] Kite / Heater - +2 AC
[3] Tower / Fullsize - +3 AC (Encumbrers)

Shield Material - Roll d12
[1] Beast Hide (+1 Damage with Attacks when held) Exotic skin stretched along its frame.
[2] Sacred Copper (Immune to Corrosion/Acid) Has a green tint, strong copper disc.
[3] Bones (+2 to Saves vs Death) Made of bones, infused with deathly magic energies.
[4] Dwarf Steel (+1 AC, -1 Initiative) Very heavy, but extremely strong.
[5] Infernal Metal (Half damage from Fire Breath / Spells) Bright red, absorbs heat and flame.
[6] Crystal (+4 AC against Blasts, Immune to Color Spray) Prismatic, splits light and the elements.
[7] Mirror (Reflects back spells or wands on successful Save) Shining brightly, made of polished silver. Mirror shields are renowned as the shields of great heroes throughout history.
[8] Elven (+1 Initiative, +25% Magic Resistance) Made with white-gold metal and has gold leaf borders as decoration. Infused with Elvish magic.
[9] Scales (+1 To-Hit with attacks when held, Shield repairs itself if destroyed) Made from the scales of a serpent or reptile. You'll get excited thinking its dragon scale but it's not, sorry.
[10] Ironwood (First person to strike it each day is Entangled) Charged with the magic of nature; the strength of the roots is based on ecosystem. Forest roots are strong, desert roots are weak.
[11] Turtle Shell (Swim at Dolphin speed) Made of a turtle's shell. By holding this shield and kicking your feet, it will increase your speed to that of a fast swimming dolphin.
[12] Mysterium (Whenever an attack is blocked, deal 1 damage of a random element at the attacker in melee) This material conducts magical energies. This shield releases elemental energy when struck. The element is only rolled once when this shield is created, and is always the same. Roll 1d4- Fire, Cold, Lightning, Acid

Shield Face - Roll d6
[1] Spike (Shield bash deals 1d4+1 damage, Magic) Dangerous spike.
[2] Animal (+1 Initiative / Act-In-Suprirse) Painted with a design of a Random Animal.
[3] Painted (+1 to Hireling Morale) Painted with bright, inspiring colors or a heraldic seal.
[4] Crystal (Enemies get -2 to Saves vs your spells or Special Moves) Charged with occult power.
[5] Gargoyle (Morale Check on first strike) Terrifying face; it takes guts to strike it- but only for the first strike per fight. Eyeless enemies are unaffected.
[6] Boss (+1 AC) Metal dome over the center point of the shield; around it is silvered engravings in spiral or flowering patterns. Strengthens your defense.

(Optional) Shield Power Table - Roll 1d6+ BASE AC Value of Shield
[2] Boomerang (Throw shield, 1d4+1 damage, returns next round) You throw the shield as a discus, bouncing around and unerringly returning to your hand. Lose AC bonus until next round.
[3] Grow (Can extend to one size bigger, adding +1 AC, but you can't move) The shield can act as a form of cover; sticking into the ground and growing bigger.
[4] Charge (Increase speed by +100%, charge into battle and get advantage on first attack) The shield glows and leaves a streak of flame as you run in.
[5] Gong (Shield user can strike shield to create a sonic blast; deals 1d4 damag, knock back 10 ft, and deafen all within cone; 3 times/day) Requires a blunt instrument the front; blasting like a gong.
[6] Dome (Shield creates magical dome that covers up to 6 people, nothing can pass through, once per day) Creates a magical, impenetrable transparent dome to protect you and your allies.
[7] Weapon (Shield transforms into a weapon) The shield snaps around the arm and turns into a fitting weapon. Bucklers become punch daggers that deal 1d4+1 magic damage, Kite shields become arm blades that deal 1d6+1, and Tower shields become huge clubs or chainsaws that deal 1d8+1 damage. If the face of the Shield has a spike; increase damage die size of weapon form by one dize size. Also, if the Shield is made of Mysterium; add elemental damage.
[8] Shrink (Can shrink to a size smaller for easy carrying. No encumbrance penalties) Can fold up into a smaller size for climbing, sneaking, squeezing through caves, etc.
[9] Wall (Shield magically extends horizontally for 10 ft in both directions) Slamming the shield into the ground causes it to grow and fill space; blocking passage or providing protection for many.

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Big Scary-Ass Demon Generator

All Big Scary-Ass Demons begin with;

  • 9 HD
  • AC of 17
  • Cannot be Hit except by Magic weapons
  • Bonus to Initiative
  • Morale of 18
  • +6 to Hit
  • Two Attacks w/ Two Weapons
  • If the Demon is ever disarmed; can just throw hellfire bolts as a blast from open hand(s). Deals 1d8 magic fire damage at range. Add spell damage bonus to this.
  • Immunity to Fire
  • Magic Resistance at 25%
  • One Damned Soul who they are assigned to torment. The damned soul is carried by the Demon at all times, as it is a source of both constant amusement and a source of its sorcerous power. The damned soul can be invoked once every three rounds.
  • Aura of Malevolence - PCs or Hirelings of levels 1 to 3, or any other living thing with HD of 3 or less, cannot stand in the presence of this being. They automatically fail morale checks and, if they can't flee, collapse catatonic from its presence.
  • Casts Spells
  • Alignment of True Evil

Damned Soul Invocation Rules
The Damned Soul is the demon's puppet and plaything. It is trapped in whatever the demon has trapped it inside and is helpless to stop it from extracting whatever it wants. Whenever the soul is invoked, the demon can choose any of the following effects. If unsure, just roll 1d4 to see what it does.

  1. Lashes the soul with unbearable pain. It lets out an unholy gnashing scream; causing a morale check in Hirelings and Retainers.
  2. Questions the soul for anything it knew in life. The demon can find out anything it wants and as much information as it wants; it can learn your language even though its been underground for ten eons by sucking it from this soul so it can taunt you.
  3. Projects the soul into a temporary, partially-real body. The soul is under the total control of the demon, but may try to hint that it is helping it. This can be used for spying, or created at a distance to do something like pull a lever or stab someone in the back.
  4. Drains the soul of its energy and feeds on hope. The demon is healed by 3d6 Hit Points.

Demon's Favorite Sin - Roll d8
[1] Lust (Has a second Damned Soul) The husband and mistress, or whore and customer.
[2] Sloth (Goes last in Initiative, Knows +2 spells) Ponders a lot, thinks little.
[3] Heresy (+25% Magic Resistance, Turn Undead / Rebuke used against it acts as though it was 2 HD higher) Its body is adorned in blasphemous brands and tattoos. Extra vulgar in speech.
[4] Envy (Can copy a Player's Roll the round after) This is a bit of a pathetic trait for something so powerful, and yet it cannot help but want what it doesn't have.
[5] Wrath (Gains one extra Attack each round, can use either Weapon) Loves a good fight. Doesn't necessarily want a fair fight.
[6] Gluttony (+1 HD, farts rancid gas in adjacent space once per combat. Deals 1d6 toxic gas damage and inflicts a random disease if you breathe it) Corpulent, bloated, horrible.
[7] Greed (Encumbers everyone in party) Magically grows and makes heavier all gold, gems, and other treasures the party may be carrying. Double encumbrance or apply Encumbrance penalty.
[8] Pride (Aura of Malevolence is boosted to 5th level or 5 HD) It is framed in a dull infernal light. The root of all sins, and perhaps the worst one of all.

Demon's Horrible Visage - Roll d10
[1] Smooth (+1 AC) Faceless, its face is just a smooth spot, or coated in spikes and horns.
[2] Snout (+1 To-Hit) Snorts like a pig.
[3] Goat (+1 HD, +25% Magic Resistance) Sometimes you just gotta go with the classics.
[4] Golden Mask (Deals +2 damage with spells) Touch of the arcane, emotionless.
[5] Cyclops (Resistance to Lightning) Unblinking and uncaring.
[6] Ghoulish (Invokes Damned Soul every other round instead, Alignment to Chaotic Evil) Even more inhumanely cruel then you might expect.
[7] Handsome Red Man (Commands 3d6 Imps, Alignment to Lawful Evil) The stereotypical demon face, meant to be more "approachable" and "charming".
[8] Pitch Black (Casts Darkness / Extinguishes Torch) Skin is dark with few features, dark black fur covers it, blood red lips, glowing eyes burn.
[9] Maw (Gains Swallow attack. Requires free hand or to be in flight. Save or be swallowed by the demon, taking 1d6+ Demon's HD in damage per round) Toothy beak.
[10] Lion (Deals +2 damage with attacks) Proud, wrathful, lustful. The lion has many elements that contribute to the demon's mystique.

Demon's Twisted Body Feature - Roll d8
[1] Wings (Flight) Creates the smell of stagnant air.
[2] Snake Penis (Bites for 1d6; save or die poison) No, really.
[3] Spiked Tail (Tail attack, deals 2d4 damage on hit) Armored with chitin, tipped with hate.
[4] Spines (+1 AC) It's body is like a porcupine- from Hell.
[5] Sigil (+1 To-Hit, +50% Speed) Its skin is branded with glowing demonic marks. Empowered.
[6] Body Mouth (+1 HD, +1 damage with attacks) Has a huge mouth on it stomach. No stats for this; but if you're dumb enough to climb inside it'll bite for like 2d10 or something.
[7] Fabrics (Add +2 damage to spells, its Hellfire Bolts also roll 1d10) Long colorful streams of fabric; they are tied to rings hanging on hooks in the devil's skin.
[8] White (Immunity changed to Cold) Devil from the deeper levels of hell. Its entire body is changed to be white or light blue for its icy home.

Demonic Arsenal - Roll d10 Twice
This demon has two weapons, one in each hand, and gets a separate attack for each every round. All of the weapons here count as magic.
[1] Black Chain (Deals 2d4, Save or destroys all non-Magic equipment) Rusted manacle.
[2] Cleaver (Deals 1d20) Huge butcher's knife for chopping MEAT.
[3] Brimstone Flail (Deals 2d8, Stunned for one round when hit- no save) Burning stone.
[4] Pitchfork (Deals 2d10, reach) The polearm of hell.
[5] Hellish Maraca (Deals 2d4 OR can be shaken to call 2d6 Imps OR change the local weather) The devil maraca rattles with the bones of the damned; noise it makes sounds like screams.
[6] Torture Hook (Deals 2d6+2, can be used to Invoke Damned Soul) Can stuff into the Soul's prison in order to extract even more from it, but requires an action.
[7] Iron Hammer (Deals 2d8, Can groundslam- save or be knocked prone) Huge hammer used to free the demons. Slams the ground to cause it to shake; save or fall down- takes a round to stand.
[8] Flaming Whip (Deals 2d6, can Entangle requires save to escape) Whip made of fire and ended like a snake's tongue. Can wrap around legs with a sear or scorch wooden poles it entangles.
[9] Occult Staff (Deals 2d8, Add +2 damage to spells) Long staff of black metal, headed by a very phallic looking carving.
[10] Tooth Sword (Deals 2d10+2, double damage on attack roll of 20) Appears almost like a living thing; a fleshy sword with teeth and a single unblinking red eye. It hungers for your flesh and blood, and is one of the "living swords" which make up the devil's most powerful weapons.

What is the Damned Soul Trapped in/on? - Roll d8
[1] Birdcage, tied around the demon's waist.
[2] Lantern, which gives off the dark glow of hellfire.
[3] Swallowed by a large, toothless snake- up to the neck. Squirms helplessly.
[4] Transformed into a baby, with an adult's head. Squirms impotently.
[5] Crucified. Flops around like an ornament.
[6] Tiny mummified full-body "shrunken head" effect. Arms stitched to side, legs motionless.
[7] Transformed into a book. You can't tell its a person, except for the cover of stretched skin.
[8] Trapped within an unbreakable glass prism. Force on the outside of it sheds different colored light inside, which torments the spirit in different ways.