10 Ways to Stop the Worlds Most Evil Dog

Idea shamelessly expanded upon from here.

10 Ways to Stop the Worlds Most Evil Dog

[1] Just shoot it with an arrow you fucking dumbshit.

[2] It's only ever been a “bad dog”. It just needed to be called a good boy.

[3] Name level Monk must deploy the Quivering Bellyrub; purifies the dog's toxic chakra.

[4] Find the world's only Good Cat.

[5] Teach it archery. Sounds like a terrible idea, but it's a good outlet. The dog's really just bored.

[6] Find it's master. The dog ran away. It's owner is the kindest old lady you'll ever meet.

[7] Slip a magical Collar of Reverse Alignment around its neck.

[8] You must call the celestial dog-catcher down from heaven.

[9] Witch needs to brew a potion of eternal sleep and mix it with a treat. The dog can smell poison but it likes drugs, so after it eats it the dog will go curl up somewhere and sleep forever.

[10] Let it gnaw on the handle of the Sword of Truth. It feels bad about it- the first time it ever felt remorse. The handle of the sword will always be a bit slobbery though.

Bitterhound

I can't take all the credit for this one; many of these ideas were sourced from Anonymous contributors.

Bitterhound – 1d8+1 Magic Hammer

This is a magic hammer appearing as the head of a dog. It is wrought in a dark iron and it's unusual shape has not inhibited its killing potential. If this hammer strikes a foe and the wielder lets go of the hammer OR if they are killed/knocked out that round and lose grip of the hammer, the “mouth” of the hammer opens and has bitten the target instead. It still deals the regular damage of the attack, but the hammer has now got its jaws on the target.

The dog's mouth grips into flesh very hard, and on certain body parts, may bite down to the bone. Any attempt to chisel or pull off the hammer will result in it just biting down harder, with all the unending pressure of metal. In this form, the hammer emits a subtle curse onto the wearer.

Wild animals that are hunted in part by dogs (bears, boars, wolves, rabbits, foxes, etc.) now despise the one who the hammer has bitten into. They always roll the worst possible reaction checks, or run into one group of 1d4 of any of these types of animals once per day when traveling through the wilderness. Within a city or town, the animals are kept mostly at bay, but when traveling the roads they will always stalk and try to attack the person right as soon as they are alone or setting up camp. Animals that are too small to pose a serious threat instead attempt to steal or damage vital party equipment, or even lead the bitten one off a cliff or into a more dangerous monster with a fake chase.

This power is only active while the “dog” is biting the person. If the hammer's head is broken off from its handle, the head continues to bite and the effect continues. The Bitterhound's curse is ended by casting a remove curse spell, or upon death where it releases its jaws and serve a new master.

6 Ways for Dogs to shoot Arrows

Art @gaudibuendia

I found this cute picture and I instantly started thinking about animal companions, playable animals, and fantastic animals to have in a war. Including in this might be hyper competent archer dogs. These archer dogs I think are more implied to be like a walking quiver and assistant to a human archer. But more importantly how the HELL does a dog shoot a bow?

Ways for Dogs to Shoot Arrows – Roll 1d4

[1] One end of the bow is heavy and has a clawed foot design. This allows it to be stuck into the ground and stand on its own weight. Then the bowstring is drawn back by the dog's mouth and launches the arrow, which is either placed first on a special ramp on the arrow to align it or put in the dog's mouth with the dog skillfully placing the string into the arrow nock in their maw. Also; this would cause some serious burns and cuts from the arrow's fletching or bowstring. Maybe a leather lip guard might be needed like a typical archer bracer.

[2] The crossbow is attached to the dog's back like a saddle. It can be fired either by a special mouth lever, or just fired at will in an abstract sort of way as a mobile weapon. The dog might be able to reload it by rolling over and placing the bolt back on with their teeth, but in a more realistic or practical setting would require a human or something to load it each time.

[3] The dog can throw down the bow and it has small studs on both ends of the bow; these prop up the bow horizontally. It has a duck-bill style design so whichever way it falls, it will always fall with the bow angled upwards at a shallow angle. The dog places the arrow on the string and pulls back with either their mouth or both front paws and releases to fire.

[4] The dog has a minor amount of anthropomorphism. They can fire the bow while standing, though they can't walk or pick things up like a human, but instead jump up on their feet like a dog could and then shrug the bow off their shoulders, firing it similar to a human before putting it back on their head and running like a regular dog would afterwards to reposition.

[5] Prehensile tail. Slinging the bow across the dog's back at an angle, the tail could wrap around the string and pull it back while the dog uses its mouth, biting near the arrow head, to position the arrows onto the pow and fire. Awkward position but could be fired pretty organically and on the move. Naturally this technique doesn't work with stubby crop-tailed dogs.

[6] Dog rolls onto back, uses hind legs to pull bowstring. Holds bow with front paws, aims upside down, tongue lolled out everywhere with each trick shot.

4 Fantasy WW1 Dogs

Doctor Dogs (1 HD, 1d4 healing lick, 1d2 bite damage)

These large, fluffy dogs instinctively rush to find and rescue people trapped in the rubble or wounded in the trenches. Made from a breed that once sought out those trapped in avalanches, it was genetically and magically altered to drool anesthesia and a disinfectant. It licks wounds to help heal injured soldiers, and is bulky enough to carry medical supplies and can also help carry wounded soldiers. It's bite is very weak due to their slobber helping heal their own inflicted wounds, and they aren't very aggressive of a breed anyway.

Elephant Hound (2 HD, 1d4 bite, prehensile trunk can use bigger weapons)

These incredibly intelligent dogs are mixed with elephants. They appear as dogs but with a long, furred elephant trunk attached to their face. They are often trained to use weapons, usually belt fed machine guns, mortars, and grenades they chuck after their handler pulls the pin- small arms tend to be too difficult to handle with their clusmy trunk, and they usually can't be trained to block bullets with swords like your typical enlistened swordsman. Fiercely loyal but independent. Smartest dog breed ever created, quickly becoming favorites outside of war too.

Messanger Pooch (1 HD, +4 AC when running, 1d4 bite)

These extremely fast and slim dogs are bred to deliver messages during the war. They are so fast and agile they are used to run across no-mans land during machine gun fire and bombing, since it's unlikely for the dog to get killed along the way. They can also crawl through pipes and have been sent halfway across the landmass to deliver covert messages too sensitive for radio.

Gremlin Dog (3 HD, 1d8 bite, +2 AC, 50% to just each ignore fatal blow)

Wrinkly dogs with sharp teeth and incredible pain tolerance. Very aggressive for both defending their owner and for attacking enemy positions. Gremlin dogs tear apart soldiers and are feared for their fighting prowess. They'll invade an enemy trench and bring back an enemy soldier's leg in their jaws while missing one of their own, tail wagging the whole way. If the dog's handler dies nobody will be able to get close enough to retrieve it, since the dog will defend their body. Used to great effectiveness when prying open the lid of a tank and dropping the dog inside to do its thing.