Wednesday, March 27, 2019

11 Strange Cleric Hirelings & their Wacky Religions

To create a Cleric Hireling, roll a 1d12. Stats that are not specified are rolled randomly upon creating a hireling, as per the normal method.

[1] Saposa the Long-Haired
Stats- +5 Str, +1 Con, +1 Wis, -2 Cha
Turns- The Groomed

All of his body hair is super long and unkempt. Head, facial, armpits, pubic, everything. He's got a Sampson thing going on, and his God is in a covenant with him to grant him super human strength as long as he does not shave.

Saposa is a cleric of the God of the wild things, and as such his power to turn undead is replaced with the power to turn groomed. This includes beings or creatures that are heavily groomed; cats and rats flee from his voice, perfumes stop short from spreading their flowery scents, elves run, and nobles must make a save to avoid the urge to flee. Instead of a destroyed result on a Turning, the target instead becomes cursed with untidiness, causing messes in their wake and having a permanent -2 AC from being dirty and clumsy. Bald mortals and certain creatures, such as giant naked mole rats, are totally immune to this power regardless of their hygiene level.

[2] Loafus of Uro
Stats- +1 Str, -1 Con, +2 Wis
Turns- The Fairie & The Deceptive Path

Loafus is a short fellow with bad lungs. He carries a walking staff and needs weekly trips to breathe fresh air in the mountains, else he sicken. He wears a blue girdle with cold iron pins stuck in every few inches, to ward against fairies.

Uro is a city that once wrestled control of itself from the fairies that occupied it, and threatened to pull it into their realm permanently. The patron spirit of that city infused Loafus with its power. Loafus can turn fairies, though they are never destroyed, and are instead simply banished back to their fae woods. Loafus's ability to turn can also be used on deception and false paths; for example if he successful cast his Turning against a labyrinth, the walls would be forced to shift to give straight passage, though traps and monsters may be placed right in his way. This is always temporary, except on a destroyed result, in which case the false path or misleading fairy signs are eradicated.

[3] Phillus Decantt
Stats- -1 Str, +2 Dex, +1 Wis, +2 Cha
Turns- Music & Musical Incantations

As one of the few religious adherents allowed to keep a family name and business. His god is the God of music and mastery of music. He is skilled in several instruments, and is teaching his daughters the ones he does not know, so their family will be a complete band.

Phillus has the power to turn music; specifically rival music and poorly played music, as well as the music of savage peoples like drums and shrieking. His power also works on spell like incantations, sorcerer's laughter, the song of a siren, and so on. Using this power can block the morale bonus from wardrummers, and stop musical spells or abilities. On a destroyed result, the offending instrument is destroyed, or offending voice is stricken mute for 2d6 days and takes that many points of damage.

[4] Synthuusia
Stats- -3 Str, +1 Dex, +2 Wis, +1 Cha
Turns- Bitter Truths & Mortification

Synthuusia is a young woman whose growth was stunted due to the prophetic fumes she was forced to breathe as a youth. She's very short and physically very underdeveloped, but she still retains some powers of prophecy even if she is too old to serve as a temple oracle anymore. She serves her temple through other forms of service.

She worships the Goddess of prophecies and dancing. By using her power of turning, Synthuusia can create a cloud of that same fume that she once breathed for days on end. This fume lightens depression and makes things you see less ugly. It softens features as well as fear. She can use the turning roll as a replacement for any hireling or player-character morale check versus fear, natural or supernatural, as the fumes make everything seem less harmful or serious. On a destroyed result, the hazy fumes give a kind of precognition to her and her allies, granting +1 to AC or saves versus whatever she was turning against.

[5] Aie the Wise Man
Stats- -2 Dex, -1 Con, +2 Int, +4 Wis
Turns- Stupid People & Fools

Aie is an old sage with many lessons learned and much wisdom to teach. His religion is that of self enlightenment and respect towards philosophy. The God of philosophy only grants its powers to those followers who understand why they no longer need them.

Aie's power to turn is quite broad but limited. He can use it to attempt to turn any stupid person, group of dumb people, or collection of fools. On a regular result, the targets of the spell are compelled to leave, but are not forced to such as if engaged in violence. On a destroyed result, then targets are forced to leave, getting a headache from smart-people talking near them. This turning ability works great against unintelligent creatures, though creatures of above average intelligence for their species are immune to it. Anyone with a +1 Intelligence modifier is also immune to the power. Those who entertain for a living, which Aie respects, are also turned as well if they are in uniform. This includes play actors, court jesters, circus performers, etc.

[6] Mourner
Stats- +1 Str, -1 Con, +1 Wis, +1 Cha
Turns- Disrespectful of the Dead

Mourner has lost her name. She's given it up to better serve her role; in her temple she did nothing but mourn for the dead. She provided a valuable service to the poor and destitute, who could not afford funeral processions, since it is known that the more tragic the funeral and louder the wailing, the more the Gods will notice and reward the spirit in the afterlife.

Mourner has the power to turn those ungrateful to the dead. This mostly means tomb and crypt robbers, and thankfully she can target it to only strike those opposing them, as well as those that exhume corpses for nefarious purposes like vile necromancers. This power also works on carrion-eating species, if that creature has eaten or eats intelligent dead corpses, such as a gnoll or a cannibal. This power turns on a success and on a destroyed result; the victim gains Necrophobia, requiring a morale check or saving throw to enter a tomb or when they see a dead body, including undead both corporeal and otherwise. They get nervous even when they see a tombstone. This can only be removed through powerful magic or therapy. Her power does not work on the undead, even those that consume corpses or raise corpses on their own, such as a wight or lich.

[7] Very Holy Burkane
Stats- +2 Wis, +1 Cha
Turns- Undead & Demons +1

Very-Holy Burkane is his actual name. This priest has been in so many babtisms, done so many prayers, and consecrated so many times he's essentially walking church. The ground for 10 feet around him in diameter is also treated as a church for the purposes of spells or demons who cannot enter them. He's humble but uses his abilities tirelessly to ward against evil; in the places where he is from he gives up his spent clothes as talismans that townsfolk can nail above their door as a holy symbol, simply due to it rubbing off on the linens from his own holiness.

Burkane does not have a special target he can turn. Instead, he turns Undead & Demonic beings like most Clerics. However, he gets to add +1 to turning rolls or treat his level as +1 for turning attempts and results, whichever makes more sense for your game. Burkane's god isn't really important anymore, as his holiness has come from many churches, positive energy fonts and the adoration of the people, and as such his holy mish-mash aura means he cannot prepare any cleric spells but the most basic and common of healing and protection spells. Even multiplying food is too specific for this conglomerate of holy magic.

[8] Balsor the Blade
Stats- +2 Str, +2 Dex, -1 Wis
Turns- Blades

Balsor is a swordsman and worships a God of swords and oaths of fealty. He is also armed with a +1 magic sword. This sword is a deep gray and is translucent for its wielder. Balsor holds it to his face to hide his intentions for attacking and defense, giving enemies who try to read his motions -1 to hit or AC depending on the situation. If Clerics cannot use swords or magic swords in your game, Balsor can use only this one, as it has been blessed and ordained by his order.

Balsor turns blades; swords, knives, and slashing weapons are specifically turned. Semi-bladed weapons like axes or spears treat the turning result as one less. Turned weapons cannot harm anyone, and are supernaturally dulled. Destroyed result makes bladed weapons rusted through or shatter, though magic weapons are merely made dull and useless for (1d6 - weapons to-hit and damage bonus) turns. He can only use this power on a number of blades equal to his level.

[9] Kors of the Loom
Stats- +1 Dex, -3 Int, +2 Wis, -1 Cha
Turns- Inantimate Carpets

Kors belongs to a religion that holds the importance and sacredness of all cloth and woven items. This religion is quite large and complex, keeping several sacred and magical spun items as well as the act of spinning itself, but Kors is an idiot savant blessed with power despite having very little understanding. As such, he cannot cast any Cleric spell over 1st level, regardless of his progression as a holy man.

The religion of the Loom has powers over cloth and fabric, but Kors interpretation is very specific. He can animate fabrics similar to carpets, rugs, tapestries, curtains, blankets, scarves, and so on. On a regular turned result, these items can be animated to perform a single action, such as attempting to wrap someone up or strangle them, levitate to carry a few pounds (but never a person), and so on. On a destroyed result, the carpet is permanently animated, and will follow Kors and obey his commands. Once Kors reaches name level or 10th level, he has a permanent magic flying carpet made of one of his obedient, holy magic carpets. Even if this carpet is destroyed, he can touch another to instantly make it fly as well, he is never without a flying carpet once he reaches the maximum level.

[10] Diala the Mutilator
Stats- +1 Str, +1 Dex, -2 Cha
Turns- Hands

Diala worships the God that gave people hands, and takes her role very seriously. Beyond having an appreciation for hands and keeping a few trophies of her foes hands on her; she also has the ability to mutilate her own hands. This process is very painful to look at, but Diala feels nothing beyond religious zeal. Whenever she mutilates a finger, she regains 1 hit point and that finger rolls a random mutation, but cannot be used well until that hand is fully healed. Additionally, her fingers have a black circle permanently tattoo'd around each second knuckle, which marks her as a religious fanatic to those who know.

Diala has the power to turn hands. This causes a single hand or hand-like appendage to seize up, forcing it to drop whatever it was holding and making it unable to be useful for 1d4 rounds. On a destroyed result, the hand splits open and is in great pain, causing 1d6 damage to its owner and requiring healing to heal properly, else being permanently marred and inflexible. This power can also be used on hand-like body parts like the feet of various apes or graspers of other species. Radically different graspers like tentacles or pods treat the result of the turning roll to be one degree less, so a Turn is ineffective and a Destroyed counts as turned.

[11] Thamalar Greencloak
Stats- -2 Str, +3 Dex, +1 Int, +1 Wis
Turns- Herbivores

Thamalar is an elf or half elf, and worships a Goddess of plant life and the magic within trees. Invoking the druid's power, Thamalar may treat his Cleric level as one higher for the purposes of spell casting or turning rolls if he's touching an ancient tree.

Thamalar's religion, the lady of greens, can turn herbivores. This includes anything that has eaten vegetable matter in the past 24 hours- a turned result makes them flee, and a destroyed result makes them hungry and need a ration of meat or else they will starve. Exclusive herbivores like minotaurs, forest animals, some monsters, etc. Instead are turned for twice the duration and on a destroyed result are either killed as normal OR Thamalar can choose to make all their flat teeth fall out, and the creature now hungers for and must eat the flesh of living beings to survive. This is permanent.

[12] Roll a set of standard attributes, and swap the highest stat to Wisdom. Then, generate a random God or Elder God- the Cleric worships that figure. This Cleric also gains the Turning ability of banishing otherworldly creatures in addition to whatever powers they would normally have from that God or Elder God. Elder God turning abilities tend to be more curse-based or sinister, where as normal Gods have powers that are more good.

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