Hylics is Post-Apocalypse Cuphead

Yes, you read that title correctly. I'm going to be assuming that anyone reading this is familiar with both Cuphead and Hylics 1 and/or Hylics 2. Both are great indie games made by small teams with a unique artstyle and really good music. Both are an homage to classic game genres- Run & Gun Shooters or Oldschool "Four dudes in a line" turn based JRPGs. But the similarities end there- or so you thought.

Naturally, this will spoil major "plot" elements for both games. You have been warned. I should also mention that I have not watched the Cuphead show, nor do I have any plans to, so this blogpost will not contain spoilers for that and if there is any "lore" from there I missed then you can consider it non-canon for the purposes of this nonsense.

The Evidence
Both worlds have a fixation on gloves. Cuphead is a cartoon, and classic cartoon characters are known for their big white poofy gloves. Hylics takes the glove-love to a whole new level with gestural combat- gloves are one of your primary equipment slots. It's never in the direct spotlight, but gloves and hands are very important to the theming of both worlds.

Both worlds have magic. Magic isn't exactly uncommon in fantasy, cartoon, or sci-fi universes, but there is something specific about Cuphead and Hylics magic systems; both feature on a liquid-like resource for the main character's specific abilities. In Cuphead, Cuphead and Mugman drink "potions" which seems to be the source of their powers in the form of their "shots", similar to spells or energy-based attacks. Hylics uses juice as a recovery item for your will points, but you always have access to every gesture you've learned. While Cuphead and Mugman simply "equip" their shots, it isn't unthinkable that "in universe" they are drinking the potions before a boss fight to regain their energy for that specific type of shot they are performing. They also aren't pure video game abstractions, because they are actually bought and sold in universe by Porkrind the shopkeeper.

The characters of both worlds are also very diverse; composed of humans, talking animals, robots, and inanimate objects. Cuphead has a cast that is much more recognizable on what or who they are; dragons and genies and a giant evil flower. The main cast of Hylics is composed of a moon-man, a bug dude, a fish-bug-maybe robot dude, and a girl who casts spells. Hylics enemies are even weirder but include giant ghost-like invincible skulls, cultists, fish who swim through the air, weird animals, and a guy driving a car (found in an underground dungeon by the way). While thematically very different, the sort of "anything could be a person" feel of a classic cartoon is preserved in Hylics's bizarre roaster of enemies and NPCs.

You know what's not bizarre about Hylics? The food. Your consumable items are all food items- very generic and very western. Burritos, cookies, juice, bananas, and so on. While many games have sort of generic food with healing and/or recovery effects- It's important to note that Cuphead also has magic food in its world; the "Wondertart" being an important plot point in the DLC. Powerful "magic" food like bananas and cupcakes in the Hylics world.

One of the more underground fan theories about Hylics regards the Sages. The Sages are three powerful or wise beings that give Wayne & Crew the "Sage Tokens" needed to unlock the ultimate gesture in each game. Interestingly, each Sage has a name and the Sages are different in both Hylics games. In Hylics one, they are the Sage of Brains, the Sage of Computers, and the Sage of Death. In Hylics 2, they are Sage of Monitors, the Sage of Accretions, and the Sage of Satellites. The interesting fan theory is this; the Sages change between games because the Sages always represent something very important to the game world; the Sage of Death being tied to the afterlife, which is how players gain more maximum HP, or the Sage of Computers being how players learn new gestures (by looking at monitors). What does this have to do with Cuphead? Well- Cuphead doesn't have Sages, but there is a strange parity between the three "super moves" that you learn by clearing the mausoleums in the game, with each one sort of representing a core aspect of the game; the Super moves including a laser (projectiles), invincibility (avoiding damage), and ghost form (with a pink heart- representing parrying/using your own body as a weapon). This one's a bit of a stretch but it feels a bit too synchronous not to include. 

Both settings also have an afterlife- with death being a temporary and often reversible thing. Cuphead has permanent death (Ms.Chalice) of which her mission in the DLC is to find a way back, and temporary "battle" death, such as characters exploding or getting turned into food but being fine again in the outro- once again it's cartoon logic. In Hylics, the afterlife is a place you travel to every time you die and return to, and in Hylics 2 it is also the fast travel location. While the Astral Realm is mostly shown as an outer space or abstract realm; the Afterlife in Hylics is very pink- the same color as the "hearts" of beings in Cuphead. Cuphead, Mugman, and Ms.Chalice all turn into ghosts when they run out of health but you can parry their heart since it's pink to bring them back before they float off screen in co-op. It's not a perfect match... just yet.

The Proposed Timeline
Cuphead is a cartoon world, with a timeline and aesthetics that hint at a place in time. It has a history of its own; shown in the statues and background "lore" of Ms.Chalice, a playable character in the DLC and a useful NPC in the base game. Ms.Chalice is a long dead ghost that appears to be of the same "race" as Cuphead, Mugman, and Elder Kettle- basically a living cup. These chalice people are depicted as wearing togas and holding swords, spears, and shields- indicating they are an ancient culture. The Cuphead of the current time is early 1920s and 30s Americana, which is a given as this is the time period that the cartoons the game is based on were made. Contemporary by their standards then, now a vision of an unreal past.

As for Hylics, it has no defined time- However, we can infer a general time period from elements in the game; everything from the fabled water cooler, color televisions, and even a "Sage of Computers" all indicates a fairly modern time period- a 90s to 00s morass (obviously, as a fictional world, actual real world timeframes are irrelevant; but it follows a general progression as a secondary alternate "real world".) As for the game itself- it has a timeline and "lore" from the events of Hylics 1 to 2, which even includes at least one if not more apocalyptic events that destroy and recreate the world. The most notable of which is the Accretion- the events of Hylics which directly tie into Hylics 2.

So what great event could possibly bridge the gap between these two eras, exactly? What else? The war. The bomb. Let me explain.

Cuphead isn't the real world. It isn't based on a real time or place; but it has the markings of an era. It's animation style is unmistakable- rubberhose. It's the character of the 1930s and great depression era animation. But Cuphead does have a defined story. Somewhere during the events of Cuphead or immediately after are the events of the Delicious Last Course- Cuphead's one and only DLC (at the time of writing this). And the final battle of this- and the final battle of Cuphead- you fight Mr. Saltbaker. It's a great fight- and the only Cuphead boss animated on ones instead of twos, giving it a really surreal feeling and a great send off for the game. Saltbaker's animation is really good, by the way, not just hamming it up for this shitpost. If you haven't played Cuphead, it's pretty good.

But I mean, honestly, just look at it. This isn't rubberhose 30s animation anymore. This is Golden Age animation. This is just straight up Pinocchio- the 1940s cartoon. Things are changing in the Cuphead world. There is no set timeline or history, but things are progressing. We are leaving the old, nostalgic era, with all its film grain fuzz, and we are entering the second world war. The simple moralist views of the past, what with the Devil tricking people, is quietly going to fade away as the horrors of the modern world change things. The bomb. Modern thinking, and then, the Postmodern. This is the inevitable fate of Cuphead's world.

The descendants of this cartoon world interbred with each other. While the creatures of Hylics are only vaguely based on real life creatures, for the most part, they have common traits with real world creatures that are cartoonized. Dedusmuln is basically a bug. Wayne is a crescent moon- the sun is a living thing in Cuphead, as in many cartoons- and you actually fight the Moon as a boss in Cuphead. (Though she's really a Zeppelin.) It's not unthinkable that, many years after the initial war and ideological paradigm shift that broke the Cuphead world apart, the descendants in the trippy wasteland of color and imagination would warp into Hylics enemies and beings. They make plenty of logical sense- their designs are exaggerating and 'toonized versions of beings that don't exist. The gags of Hylics are intended for an audience of another world, not ours. Ironic layers of subverted meaning- perfectly postmodern.

There's a lot of thematic similarities between the two works as well. Both are cartoonish. Hylics is almost a spoof of JRPGs storylines with slapstick humor thrown in the mix. You fight a weasel summoner, find a warm burrito in the toilet, and pester a guard until he gives up. Everything is being controlled by Dracula. It's wacky and zany and you're not supposed to take it too serious. Hylics 2 actually tries to have a plot, but past its layer of weirdness its actually very simple. Hylics 2 is also much less random for the sake of it and has a bit less humor- but the humor more comes from the writing and funny situations. Both Hylics games are relatively upbeat- which to me fits well with the cartoon world of Cuphead. Most people assume that a post-apocalypse has to be grim, dark, and hopeless- but that's not necessarily the case. If you start with a colorful cartoon world, and blow it to pieces, it doesn't suddenly turn gray.

Physicality & The Gnostic Connection
On a more meta-level, both worlds have a surprisingly similar origin. Both are made by artistic minds who greatly value authenticity. For Hylics, Mason Lindroth makes almost everything out of clay. Even Hylics 2 and the teased "next Hylics game", which day make use of 3d animation and graphics, are still fundamentally based on clay sculpting- the models and props used by Mason's own hands and digitized to be used in a game world. The animations of the spells and attacks are Mason's own hands, turned into animations for use of the various gestures. Everything about it is based on a level of physical creation- literally sculpting the game's world, enemies, and designs by hand as clay.

Cuphead is very similar. For those unfamiliar with its development; one of the reasons why Cuphead took so long to make (and the DLC took 5 fucking years) is because everything in Cuphead is hand animated. You may not even notice it in the game, but every single boss, asset, animation, and level in Cuphead was created on paper- though the development team took some shortcuts with allowing these assets to be digitally colored, this was only to reduce the already insane workload and level of dedication required to fulfill this project. The purpose of this was to add the tiny mistakes, the effects of ink and pen on paper, and the imperceptible human element to the entire project. Now if this was actually worth the effort they went to for the project, that's a discussion for a different time, but it is unarguable that this elevates Cuphead above another project for the sheer level of craft alone.

Now obviously, there is a massive difference in the scope and budget of the projects. Hylics was a small RPG maker game that was never meant to be a serious indie project to compete on the video game market, where as Cuphead was a successful Kickstarter with massive praise and mainstream attention. But I find it fascinating how both projects have such similar underlying themes. Weirdly enough- this is even present in their gameplay, despite them being radically different and almost complete genre opposites. Cuphead's creators made the game to combine their love of classic cartoons and oldschool NES style sidescrollers like Contra and Mega-Man- games focused on fast action and platforming. This would make it totally at-odds with Hylics turn based, tactical battles with chill music and party-based combat with an emphasis on teamwork.

But the important thing here is the context of these challenges. While both games have radically different game design structures- one thing is carried throughout both works. When you're in a battle, or a Cuphead stage, or whatever else- your abilities and capabilities are not determined by your characters level or power-ups, but moreso by your own skill as the player. Hylics is based on JRPG tropes and mechanics, made in RPG maker, but you never actually level up. There is no direct increase in stats based on your progress through the game. Instead, you only get stronger by either adding new party members, interacting with certain items, or finding new gear or consumable items which can help carry you through harder fights. Cuphead is the same- you can switch loadouts of weapons or charms to make certain fights easier, but these are all side-grades or fitting for different situations. There is no straight up "better" upgrade or weapon in Cuphead, just more options.

Now you may be saying "hold on, Cuphead is a sidescrolling, boss-rush shooter. It has literally nothing to do with RPG mechanics! That entire genre is like that!" and you are 100% correct. This is purely a reach. But, if I may interject, consider the time period and development of this game. I am not a game developer, but games take a very long time to make and much of that development time comes with changing ideas, priorities, and the different market-realities of the time. Do you really think, throughout its entire long and storied development, that the Cuphead developers didn't once stop to consider the possibility of changing the game's genre to something more popular at the time? This game came out in 2017 originally- during the current peak of the indie Roguelike phase. While I'm glad the original vision of sticking with a cartoon retro-style shooter game was kept, I think it's foolish to believe that the Cuphead developers never at least considered the possibility of giving their game more mass market appeal. Something with permanent player progression, exploration of a larger world with content spread thinner throughout, or just an easier and less challenging game overall.

This underlying concept of not having level-ups or out-of-character forms of progression directly tie into the underlying themes that both games have- this kinda-sorta everyman fighting against greater cosmic forces them themselves. Neither Cuphead or Hylics really have a bombastic or overly complicated plot- you aren't a chosen one or something special. There is a great degree of physicality to both their designs- with Cuphead being a literal Cup, and object of no consequence that most people use every single day, to Wayne being a very simple shape to make with clay- a simple moon. Cuphead's plot is literally about freeing people from enslavement by a spiritual entity- Hylics has this idea much more strongly however- with the Gnostic terminology sprinkled throughout- though this is mostly set dressing. There is a blind-idiot God currently controlling the world, but he isn't the Demiurge. There is a Pneumatophore, but you just use it to air-dash and get around the game world. It's not meant to be an exploration of a spiritual belief predicated on existentialism. It's just weird, trippy, short experience- and that's all it has to be.

So in conclusion- Do I think Hylics is a Gnostic video game? Not really, and neither is Cuphead. But it cannot be just a coincidence that one of the only RPGs where you never level up just so happens to be named Hylics.

Kenshi Homebrew Race - Biters

The world of Kenshi is a dark and violent place. It is a wild world with ancient machines, mutant monsters, bandits and cannibals, but there are those who practice the Way of the Swordsman. There is an intolerant religious regime preaching human superiority, and a corrupt republic of cities where being poor is illegal, and punished with enslavement; but even here there are groups seeking a fresh start.

If you haven't played this game, then a lot of this won't make sense to you. This is my homebrew race. I had the idea to mod this into the game myself, but my ideas (as usual) are too beyond the scope of my meager abilities. If you ever decide to play Kenshi in tabletop (and you should), then you can add these guys in to be your plucky underdogs.

Kenshi - Biters
This unusual species of small humanoids have an unusually shaped head. They are not seemingly related to humans or hive, and are their own separate species. They stand between 3 and 4 feet in height, and are thickly built. Their heads and fur is reminiscent of a landbat, a dangerous creature, so some scholars believe they are a related species. They are also totally carnivorous, but are small and can go for a long time without food. This means they can eat raw meat as well as foul raw meat similar to Hivers.

Like the other races in Kenshi, Biters have multiple subspecies. Unlike other races though, this is a gendered subspecies, and is more a result of sexual dimorphism. The male Biters grow to become Rustbacks, who are larger and have a red color along their spine. The females grow to become Sandfoot, who have a lighter, more camouflaged coloration. Redbacks have a stronger upper body which allows them to use melee weapons better, but both breeds of Biters are too small to use heavy weapons. (They do not have a primary weapon slot in their inventory). Because of their small size, Sandfeet are among the physically weakest of all the playable character choices, but are skilled with lockpicking for their small hands and gain medical skill at an advanced rate.

Out of all the intelligent races of the world, Biters are probably the dumbest. They are smarter then cannibals however, which means they can at the very least speak and commence trading with other factions. As with all non-humans, they are openly attacked and enslaved by members of the Holy Nations if they trespass on their lands. Biters believe in magic and are known to be easily fooled, but are good survivalists and well suited to many of the more hazardous places in Kenshi's world. Their bodies are well adapted to the desert; they have small, rough eyes which gives them poor eyesight for ranged weapons, but they are naturally immune to duststorms.

Limb HP	Rustback	Sandfoot
Head	80	80
Chest	100	80
Stomach	100	130
Right Arm	100	80
Left Arm	100	80
Right Leg	100	100
Left Leg	100	100

 

The Rustbacks are almost as strong as a standard human, which given their size and lack of ability to use large weapons (and legwear) means they are at a significant disadvantage in a fight without superior numbers. The Sandfoots are even more extreme, except for their stomach. This is because the females of their race have a pouch to raise young, which means their lower body is extremely well armored with loose skin, cartilage, and protective fat.

Skills

Rustback		Sandfoot
Stealth	+10%	Stealth	+10%
		Lockpicking	+20%
Precision Shooting	-20%	Precision Shooting	-20%
Field Medic	-20%	Field Medic	+20%
Engineer	-20%
Robotics	-20%
Science	-20%

Culture & Factions

The Biters cannot support large communities and are not known for great organizational skills. They also are by far the youngest race in the world of Kenshi, possibly only a hundred years or less that they began to show signs of intelligence. Their culture is therefore very bare and simple. Their settlements are more like shared nesting locations, their people are organized around breeding and food. Bands of mostly male Rustbacks hunt for wild goats or garru and bring the meat back to their camps, where the Sandfoots protect the nest, care for offspring, and sometimes tell each other stories or trade with outsiders.

Biter camps are small, made up of several burrows. Their construction skills are limited in sophistication to perhaps a flap of fabric over a burrow to keep the dust out or a small door that can be closed with a heavy stone to keep bone dogs away from meat storage. They certainly do not have any strong walls, defensive turrets, or electricity. If you decide to trade with them you will see that they almost exclusively sell animal skins, teeth, and bones. Occasionally, one will dig up a shiny thing in the sand and sell it at a seemingly random price, which could be anything from a few bolts lost in a battle to an advanced robotic limb that they will let go for peanuts.

 

The Biters have few leaders or little social complexity- with the exception to healers. Biters believe in magic and they view healing as a form of magic. The leader of every Biter nest will always be a Sandfoot mendermother; a practiced healer who is viewed as a shaman. The Biters are known to be a good partner to trade with for medical supplies; they buy them at a high markup as they cannot make them themselves, but they have little currency with which to trade. It won't be long before the Trader's Guild catches wind of it and finds a way to exploit these primitive people.

The Biters do not control many lands and they are not well defended. The areas where dust bandits, hungry bandits, and wild animals patrol are the same places where they live. They are relatively peaceful and have no interest in attacking or robbing travelers. The exception are Shek. If a lone Shek or small group wander nearby a Biter den, the Rustbacks may mistake the Sheks for wild goats (their eyesight is bad and the bone plates make them look similar at distance), which could lead to some Shek warriors getting swarmed. Tales of these random attacks have begun to reach the Shek Kingdom's, and may cause a war between the races. Unfortunately for the Biters, it is likely this will end in their extermination.

4 Weird Post-Apocalypses

[1] Psychic Apocalypse

The world is full of ideas, and with so many brains around the ideas were practically physical things. The energy produced from the multitude of human minds pressed from all sides, and with the increasing levels of intelligence and abstract thought in the world from advanced technology and longer lifespans, and with ever increasing levels of population, the world's walls began to shiver.

Then, they fell.

The great catastrophe happened at the speed of thought. It was as though everything was fine and then, in one instant, everyone just felt that something was wrong. Almost everyone started to go mad and start killing each other, destroying things. Newfound
powers were emitted by these beings. Many of these psychic beings tore themselves apart in their power, but the ones who were stable enough became the creatures we now call fiends. On top of this, locations and objects were imbued with minds of their owns; psychic residue touched everything as the static of ten-and-a-half billion minds shreds through matter with tangible force. Otherwise serene city parks can be filled with an unbearable heat just an inch above its highest blades of grass- your clothes ignite just a bit before your hair and skin. Or a parked car with perfect paint and chrome shine is liable to make anyone who touches it trapped within a time loop that drives them mad over a dozen centuries of seconds of repetition. At least that one you can see coming pretty easily- survivors know well not to judge anything by appearances.

Now, long after the sky has lost its red hue and the psychic storms have ceased, the survivors pick through the rubble. Every group carries guns and spears, but along with everybody needs at least one psychic. Carrying a conductive bit of metal piping or wearing a copper torch twisted from now dead wiring; these people are vital to avoiding the worst psychic hotspots and to press their powers to stop the more enigmatic fiends who cannot be put down with bullets and fire. While many humans exterminate these monsters relentlessly, they can never be truly free of the danger as anyone who is isolated, depressed, or goes mad in the stress of the apocalypse can and will turn into a fiend.

[2] “Fluid” Apocalypse

In the far flung future, the striving for perfect socioeconomic and biological liberty were successful. Nobody is born with a gender anymore, race has been eradicated totally. All people are now known as “Fluids”, a quasi state of permanent, near immortal adolescence before their assignment. Children are only allowed to be born in vats, which collect an assortment of randomly selected screened genetic codes to create new young. Everyone is born with random skin colors and features that make races obsolete; some may be born with rosettes of darker skin along their otherwise pale bodies. Some are born with perfectly vertical split of two distinct, pre-Fluid racial identities. Children are all raised communally and fed from a mixture of soy and pasteurized hormone packets which, later in life, can be activated with special machines to change your form. Your body is yours to sculpt; from choosing your sex with total control over your hormonal profile, to growing extra limbs or enhancing your physical and mental abilities, to even mutating your body totally into a new species- people willingly became dogs for a sense of freedom and joyful bliss.

But as time went on, the knowledge of how these machines function was lost. The hormonal cocktails that allowed people to mature and choose what they would be have long since depleted; now they must be scavenged from ancient ruins or ingested off the cuff from the various plants and animals in the world; it's hellish to digest meat or dairy in these bodies, but the plant-protein farms are all barren and the mechanical robots that once ran them are dead or aimless. You don't have much of a choice- fight with spear and sling to either hunt or protect yourself. Due to tribe having no race or gender, they instead work purely off of numbers and ideological power. The birthing pods are patrolled and young taken as soon as they are able to be raised as the perfect soldiers.

But the birthing pods are starting to lose their power sources too. The oldest genetic codes are starting to get used up, and the machines know it. The computers have been birthing strange beings; those with an 'excess' or 'recess' between their legs. They aren't fully functional in this generation, but with enough hormones it may be so- this is the final failsafe. If the “old ways of life” are not rediscovered, then our species will die.

[3] Dry Ocean Apocalypse

The oceans were dying a long time ago, but then they started to dry up. Easy desalination to create drinking water and water for crops and swimming pools meant it was essentially inexhaustible; after all, it is the ocean. But the ocean was drained dry over many decades. The sand beaches and shores became like cliffs that went down into rubble and vast desert wilderness- the salt plains stretch on so far as to be uncrossable. The planet's thermoregulation was thrown off; killing off all life in higher elevation from the constant shifts between hot and cold without water to act as the great planetary temperature stabilizer. This, in turn with the vastness of the new ocean-floor desert waste, meant that almost everyone died.

But in a few places, life survives. In the deepest part of the world; the Marianas Sea with its pitch black water is the last place on Earth where people can live. Exclusively fed from the fish and great squiding and whaling professions; the last few villages built from ancient fallen shipwreckes and coral shelves offer only the most pitiful of lighthouses to guide those plucky sailors. Only rarely does a brief, merciful rain come. But all those in the villages who collect the water silently fear their men and boys out on the ships; because the rain is when the hagfish come out.

Nobody knows quite how the creatures remain alive down there; without the immense pressure of the ocean above their habitat would be little more then a great lake. But it is not so. The deepest darkest depths of the ocean are abuzz with life, still, however glacial it may be. In recent years, the new abundance of food from both the draining oceans above and the few wars of conquest dropping dead sailors in the water has caused an explosion of life. Gulper eels big enough to swallow a man; dark black skinned sperm whales, the last of their kind, have lost their empathetic eyes and attack ships and men as though they know humans are to blame. Giant squids are the worst of all; krakens with huge eyes that stalk boats by day, and wait until the night to attack and rip sailors off the deck for lunch.

Technology has too regressed to a point where it the age of sail all over again. The last few companies of merchants of salvage and fishing industries try to ferry their goods across the tiny sea. The navies of what may now be considered nations try to protect them, and patrol the water from the great pirates of the blackest sea. Despite the metals once belonging to advanced automobiles and infrastructure of the old world; now they are warped into cannons and black powder made from the explosive remains of long since decayed algal blooms from the sands of the great wastes is used to propel shot between ships. Fights are closed with boarders; pirates and marines with sword and axe in hand to protect what little there is left to fight for.

[4] Devil's Fog Apocalypse
The Bible got it wrong. Not everything- God is real, the rapture happened, and Jesus Christ is lord of all creation. But what happens after? They didn't get that quite right. Maybe somebody translated something wrong, or people had really wrong impressions on God's plan.

See, when God left the Earth with his flock, the book of revelations didn't happen. The Apocalypse never came. No trumpets sounded. Instead, the world was filled with silence and fog. The forests grew back, the wilderness grew in, and the worshipers of Satan were left to inherit the Earth. The animals and plants have grown out all twisted- the devil's playthings. Crossbreeds and hybrids born of homosexual unions and bestiality stalk the woods, as the dark fog has replaced the rain; it is like the great flood of Noah never happened, the antediluvian times have come again. It doesn't rain anymore, unless God opens the gates again and purges the world of its sinful nature.

Almost everyone left is a sinful worshiper of Satan- they wear twigs and leaves to make grotesque masks while they prance around the woods naked, offering sacrifices and dark pacts with their dark lord. These sinners have magic; many can fly, or command the beasts, or even control the elements. These people would just be able to enjoy their sinful evil and separation from the Almighty forever- if it wasn't for the remains.

Those left behind, the virtuous, live in a world filled with sin, evil, and fear. The endless maw of the black forest around them threatens to swallow them whole. The only defense against such a constant threat are the golems. Standing on average about 20 feet in height; the golems are battle machines. Most are bipedal, and can seat one to two drivers. The golems can only be made by those who study the good book, and pray for aide against the forces of darkness. It is unknown if these prayers are being heard, or if some remaining power left in the world, or if it just the hatred that the devil has for these things is what causes them to walk. But walk they do, inscribed with the names of God from the old Jewish tales. Survivors live in tiny colonies or underground hideouts, only able to leave their places of worship in their golems- ferrying goods or hunting for food in the yet corrupted forests that was once the Garden of Eden.

Simple Dice-Pool Zombie Grappling Rules

If your survivor is about to get grabbed by some zombies, use this rule.

Adult, healthy, and well fed survivors roll 2d6. If they're weaker, only 1d6

Add +1d6 if the survivor is wielding a proper zombie killing weapon, like an axe or baseball bat.

Add +1d8 if the survivor is wielding a badass zombie killing weapon, like a sawn-off or chainsaw.

Every zombie in the group rolls 1d6. Special infected, like acid blood or Tanks from L4D, roll 1d8.

Roll all dice simultaneously. Highest number on a single dice wins. In the event of a tie, the highest number of dice rolled total wins. If the survivor wins, they get away. If the zombies win, they get in a bite or you take one wound or lose a life or whatever.

If you can't find enough dice to roll for the zombie's dice pool or if its statistically ludicrous for the survivor to win, they just die. Huge groups of zombies just rip you apart.

Note: Yes, it's intentional that you can't be bitten by a group of zombies if you get a lucky roll of 7 or 8 on your big weapon die. This is to represent your guy running through a crowd of zombies blasting and sawing them all to pieces without getting bitten. Yes, it's also intentional that most rolls will end in ties of 6, meaning that the zombies will always succeed if there is more then three of them at once.

Example: Rodney gets cornered by a group of undead, who press at him from all sides against a wall. There are 5 zombies. They roll 5, 5, 4, 3, and 2. Rodney swings his bat and gets a 6, 3, and 2. He gets away. That was a very lucky escape, Rodney.

Also if the survivor has a really shitty weapon like a knife or rifle in close range they roll a 1d4 for their weapon instead. Same for really shitty zombies like crawlers or weak ass skeletal zombies, they just add +1d4 to the hoard's dice; still adds to the hoard's deadliness but they're much easier to escape from in small numbers. Also this combat system has nothing to do with actually running around and shooting zombies or fighting zombies in a big army against a shield wall of survivors or anything cool like that, it's just a little grapple rule.

Vagueposting- Elegance in Simplicity & Zombies

I'll put on my flannel shirt and thick rimmed glasses now and admit to being a hipster. I liked zombies BEFORE they were cool. That's a bit disingenuous- Zombies were always cool. While cool and popular since before I was even born with the Romero movies, Zombies had a big explosion of popularity in the early 2000s with rise of The Walking Dead and other zombie media. This meant a lot of zombie video games too, and zombies kind of got repetitive. People had a falling out with zombies- but I didn't. I wasn't the type to get sick of them so easily, I still liked them. Without going to into the culture around zombie hype or disinterest; I think we're in the cool off period. People are no longer raving against zombies, pretty soon we may very well see a resurgence.

However,I'll admit that I liked zombies for the weird zombies. Dead Space, Left 4 Dead, and a few others. The Thing-esque necromorphs are a very cool take on zombies, as well as having mutant zombies with special powers ala Left 4 Dead. I always liked these because they made zombies varied and difficult opponents, regardless of how they appeared. But over the years, exactly one piece of zombie media has truly captured the spirit of zombies for me.

And it's this.

That's right. Death Road to Canada has the best zombies in any game I've played, despite the fact that all the zombies in that game are almost all the exact same. They may have slightly different speeds, aggression levels, or hit points (or maybe just your damage is randomized, which may be more likely), but there are no special zombies. There may be some rare or special encounter with a unique infected zombie I haven't seen, but I've beaten the game 2-3 times and played a bunch of runs where I died, trying lots of different survivors and random events, and I've never seen it. So I think it's safe to say that all the zombies are pretty much all the same.

But despite this, I love them. They're my favorite zombies. I think there are three main reasons for this. The first is their design. They are just kind of generic zombies, but they kind of aren't. They have these great putrid skin tones, with some great open mouths and disgusting features that only pixel art games can give justice with lots of randomization. But they have this great design in how they amble around.

Truthfully the zombies in this game suck. They're weak, especially individually. But you aren't really fighting them if you can help it. The zombies take up just enough space and are just aware enough of your presence that they are a nuisance. They barely seem to even notice you; if the zombie hoard status is “sluggish” then they don't even notice you unless you hit one a few times to even wake up to your presence. They get in your way, and you'll bat them out of the way with one or two strikes of your melee weapon. Just enough to kill that one zombie or knock them down. Now during the night time, or during special hoard sections, or depending on how angry the “hoard” is, the zombies will be more or less aware. I love how they amble around, and if you start shooting off your gun, they'll start being drawn towards you. When you get near them, little hand sprites appear that show they're reaching towards you, it's great- and since this is a 2d game you can have truly huge hoards attacking you sometimes.

Secondly, I love the mechanics of the game built around them. Despite the game only really having one enemy type, it never really gets old. The zombies don't really do “attacks” to hurt you in Death Road, instead it's just if you spend too much time close to one. If you get close to a zombie, little symbols like !@# appear above your head, as if your character is swearing, and if you spend too long in that state you'll take damage. This damage will not happen if you move away quick enough, giving you incentive to sidle right past a zombie or two, but if you're in the middle of a hoard they'll quickly damage you. It's just enough time to subconsciously move out of the way, but not enough to switch weapons and do a complex “plan” if you're in the middle of a huge hoard. It feels just perfectly timed. In addition to this; using melee weapons in the game is preferable since they don't run out of ammo of course and they make less noise then guns; but swinging in melee is slow and your characters will get tired depending on their stats. If a character is tired and sweating, it will take them longer and longer to prepare a swing. Your NPC followers will do a dance with you, moving close to strike a zombie and then moving back with you. It creates this great spacing game; but you quickly run out of space. It gives the perfect sensation of being trapped by a zombie hoard which is closing in faster then you can kill them. You stop thinking about killing the zombies and instead about finding the thinnest part of the circle growing around you; the part where you start swinging and finding a risky moment to slip through- until your low health ally is killed. But just like in horror movie fashion, they are eaten alive while the rest of the group can run past and avoid the zombies. This is a great mechanic for any game like this- you could even sacrifice your allies on purpose to do this if you wanted.

Finally; I think the third and final reason I like the zombies in this game is because they ARE generic. They aren't special individually. There's nothing to watch out for, and as I said I believe they just all have the same stats. They aren't interesting as individuals, at all. That's not the point. There's a certain elegance in every zombie in the game being the same; all being kind of weak and slow that ramp up depending on how far along in the game you are, if you're defending from a zombie hoard and so on- the zombies in this game feel like zombies should feel. They can be felt like a flood or on obstacle, they are relatively predictable, but the game thrives on putting you in situations where you are stretched to your limit no matter how much skill you have. I've played it enough times now that I can pretty easily range most zombies, but when a big hoard comes you need to get the hell out of the way or else you will get eaten. It's great; even a powerful weapon like a shotgun or chainsaw can't save you if you make a bad decision or get totally trapped. I'll admit- I've gotten good enough at this game I've beaten it a few times and can avoid zombies, but I still fear going into those damn sewers.

This is the reason why, for my own zombie-apocalypse ideas, I like the idea of all the zombies being the same. As much as "special infected" give flavor and new dimensions to combat or survival, the concept of each member of the undead hoard being just another zombie, weak individually but together a force of nature, grants a kind of purity to the whole thing.

Anyway, this post ended up being a lot more zombie focused then intended, but I just liked to post something relating to a design philosophy which I feel a lot of people into DIY, Tabletop, or OSR like. The sort of simple, yet deep. There's an elegance in the generic, the vanilla, the white bread. Like how swords, axes, maces are all just d6 damage, or the feeling of an oldschool game where all hit dice are d6 regardless of your class. I like that kind of thing from time to time, it gives a feeling of making a lot with nothing, and Death Road to Canada fills that desire when it comes to zombies, at the very least.

10 Tribes of Technobarbarians & their Ancient Artifacts

Each tribe of Technobarbarians holds and defends an ancient megalith or advanced machine from the times before savagery. Make no mistake, these are barbarians and their main skill is always in warfare; but each tribe has a special technological skill that has been passed down through the generations. To the fellow survivors and hardy wasters of the post-apocalypse, these may as well be sorceries.

Art @Jimmy Duda

[1] Arcologia

Skill- Nutrition and Sanitation.

These barbarians live nomadic lives on the “holy mountain”, which they claim is the center of the world and the great pole that the sun rotates around each day. The mountain is a massive arcology; a humongous internal city-scape where a citizen of the before times may live their entire lives without needing to step outside. The doorways into this super structure are thankfully closed; nobody knows what sort of horrible descendants of the rich advanced people that once lived within have left behind, or how many robotic servants may still be lurking in those dark halls.

[2] Protectors

Skill- Computer Science & Robotics (mostly in how to destroy them)

These barbarians live around a dark pit, within which is the core of an evil super-computer hyper intelligence. This machine hates all living things, and is encased in something no primitive human tool can pierce, but is thankfully powerless. It can only make threats. Routinely cursing and describing in great details the tortures it will inflict upon the tribe if they don't help regain its power; they have become steadfast in defending this relic from evil hands. These barbarians are highly suspicious of and destroy any technology coming within their territory, as they vaguely know that the super computer can interface with technology to regain functions or go beyond its otherwise powerless physical shell.

[3] Mirroiands

Skill- Solar Energy Capture

In a hot desert waste, these barbarians protect a great refraction tower of solar energy. At the top of this tower is where their Sun-Shamans can aim the great discs, creating beams of heat during the hottest parts of the day to incinerate those who march against this tribe, to fry birds for food, or to help forge slag metal dragged from ancient derelicts into useful iron for tools. These barbarians are ruled by these Sun-Shamans, who are always blind. While those who are born blind are preferred for the role, everyone who becomes a Sun-Shaman eventually goes blind anyway from the intense light and glare of these magic solar reflection array. They don't actually need to be able to see to use the array however; helpful accessibility controls built in from the time before mean that the blind can aim it just as well as anyone else.

[4] Arcadians

Skill- Herbology and Husbandry

These barbarians are mostly settled; they live in a harsh land with a secret canyon. Within this canyons are thousands of ridges, cliff sides, and faces fitted with tubs lined with an unusual, artificial material no human can name in this age (plastic). Within the tubs are thousands of plants, vines, and miniature trees which bare the fruit of a thousand varieties. They grow without dirt, water is simply moved through the system endlessly and moving over their roots like sorcery. The barbarians here are becoming a thriving farming civilization, but must defend their homeland and its secret garden at all costs, as it is too tempting a prize for enemy powers to try and steal.

[5] Sky-Watchers

Skill- Astronomy; can navigate by watching the night sky.

In a land of falling meteorites, these barbarians live on the move. Every few weeks, meteors crash in the desert landscape, causing explosions and great tremors on the night they fall. These meteors come from the sky; made of metal and glass, with complex construction that mimics that of the advanced peoples that were before the times of savages. These objects remain hot for days on end after falling; the barbarians crowd around them at night to stave off the desert's cold. Within these fallen stars are occasional glowing objects, packages of strange tasting food, sometimes even advanced weapons or the bones of a person from before. It is equal parts exciting and frightening to open a fallen star; they are known by the Sky-Watchers as Caskets of the Sky.

[6] Hivers

Skill- Aeronautics. (They can design parachutes and gliders)

These barbarians are more nomadic then the others, and their technological wonder is mobile. It is a massive swarm of tiny flying machines which buzz like insects. They follow the holder of the sacred scroll, which is a baton of lights that directs the swarm to both the motions and mental commands of its wielder- the heart-rate monitor in the handle can cause them to fly in to protect the holder, for example. The drone swarm must remain within a few miles of the spread out radio towers in the region, but is otherwise free to move anywhere the commander wishes, and they often hide it within caves or on the top of every tree and fallen ruins at night. The drone swarm is terrifying to behold, nearly immune to your arrow fire, and can rip a man apart or carry him into the sky to be stolen away or dropped to his death, which is the traditional method of execution for those who break the tribal taboos.

[7] Homemakers

Skill- Domestic

This is a small tribe of barbarians living within the ruin of a long forgotten city- without natural sources of water or game to hunt nearby this ancient spot of civilization, it is not valuable land. These barbarians mostly protect a single residence; a house from the before time. Its walls all still stand, its windows clean and sparkling. There is a square of perfect green grass kept around the house at all times in the year, water that shouts from tiny devices in the grass which the tribe collects when the rains refuse to come. The house is always well painted and locked at night. The barbarians both fear and respect the false man inside- he appears in the shape of a man, but with transparent skin like water frozen in place. The man has never attacked them, but it can shatter chains and stone with its hands, and does so to remove anything put on the outside of the house by the tribe. The robot is only active at night, which is when the barbarians marvel at the electric lights or “frozen fires” as they call them that line the residence's walls and pour out from its windows.

[8] False Tree Tribe

Skill- Radio Signals & Climbing

Around a forest of dead and dying trees, ancient gray husks from the olden days, these barbarians hold to be holy a fake tree. Near the center of this woodland is a tree with a bold brown trunk, with bright green leaves arranged in symmetrical patterns. Every day this tree moves slightly; releasing and intaking huge quantities of gas all at once, gaining power by the sunlight that hits its artifical glass leaves. It also emits a high pitched buzzing sound that causes the dogs in the barbarians' camp to go wild for a few minutes; the signals stop after a moment. These barbarians tell their young to climb as high as they dare, and up in the branches they stay as still as they can and hold on tight as the signals during that time of day blast their brains and make them wobble and speak in riddles for a day or two after exposure. This is a rite of passage by the barbarians, and many future events as have ordained from these oracles. However, the children who climb too high or become too unsteady will fall to their death; as such the ritual is always dangerous.

[9] Replayers

Skill- History & Costuming

This tribe lives around a small square pedestal made of metal that was deployed in the center of a stony field. In front of this pedestal is a large square expanse, about 50 ft each direction, which is cordoned off with stones and ropes put up by the tribe as holy ground. Anyone who enters this field is said to be disturbing the spirits that sleep within. The leader of this tribe has access to four special “tapes” which, if placed into the pedestal, make a frozen image appear in the holy square. This image are like people and things stuck in place, all from the time before, a hologram that the barbarians believe are spirits frozen in place and time. The first tape shows a beautiful park with grass and trees, among them children playing with a feast of food on a table and on several unusual cooking devices. This is believed to be heaven that the tribesmen who die in glorious battle may be allowed to join if they prove themselves. The other three tapes show times of warfare frozen in time; warriors in metal using weapons similar to the barbarians, warriors in trenches and giant metal wagons rolling over muddy ground, and the third being an advanced war with glass and plastics formed into strangely shaped rods with bright flashes of light emitting out the ends. These three tapes are considered hell and intruders or prisoners of war are sacrificed within these scenes of destruction; as the tribe thinks they will trap their souls within them and bring more power to their warrior clan.

[10] Mattori

Skill- Weaving & Leathermaking

Outside of a lowly fabrication factory, this barbarian tribe roams. The old factory still functions, but is severely limited in what it can achieve. Once a touch-screen display could create custom rugs, mats, throw pillows, and other homely decor options on demand for costumers. Now the dye wells are long dry and the material chute is empty; except for what the barbarians put in. Killing and skinning intruders and tribal enemies alive; filling the dye reserves with their blood and pushing the button, these barbarians create brutal constructs of woven skin and hair, sprayed and painted with blood by using this gruesome factory. Around the entrances to their land they have plastered these as warnings to all who dare approach.

Mutant Wasteland-Guide Generator

There is a mutant who will gladly take you through the radioactive desert wasteland. He is a guide and will help you avoid the worst patches of radiation and the feral, cannibal mutants. What's he like?

What's up with his Skin and why does he cover it with his Cloak?- 1d8

[1] Blackened, like from a fire.

[2] White and albino. Easily sunburnt.

[3] Leathery gray or brown skin. Animal smell.

[4] Insectoid chitin. Dull gray plates.

[5] Green, glows in the dark.

[6] Melty. Looks like its saggy and wrinkled, a bit like its melting. Still solid though.

[7] Taut, papery skin. Visible blood and lymph travels through it, partially transparent.

[8] Purplish-gray color, with armored skin coverings. Roll on the subtable below.

(Subtable) Purple-Skin Coverings Armor- 1d4

[1] Squares patches of eczema, made into tough leathery plates.

[2] Lumps of fat and waste bubbled to the surface. Retards fire.

[3] Studs, material as horn.

[4] Ridges of bone, growing along the nervous system tract.

What's his “Lucky” Arm Like?- 1d6

[1] Squashed. The limb is shorter then normal. The bones, connective tissue, muscles and so forth are all the same, just much more densely packaged, and as such basically impossible to cut off.

[2] Elongated. The arm is much longer then normal. Has an extra joint. It is weaker and less tough then you'd expect, with thin skin and brittle bones, but is very fast and gives good reach.

[3] Noodly. Emaciated and very thin, but has some prehensile properties. You can smack it with a hammer and the bones just bend and jumble around; doesn't hurt.

[4] Muscular. It's roughly human shape, but is incredibly vascular and tinted red with its intense blood flow. Insanely strong, sometimes acts out violently as though with a mind of its own.

[5] Fat. The limb is fat and sags, heavy and bloated. Acts as a fat store for trips across the radioactive desert. If you cut into it, it bleeds greasy water.

[6] Tubular. It inflates only when in use, requiring a heavy breath and has an innate direct line of air from the lungs, otherwise hangs down like an empty glove. Can be hidden with ease.

What are the Fingers on his “Lucky” Arm like?- 1d6

[1] Cat's claws.

[2] Stubby, visible pores, excellent grip for climbing.

[3] Fused into a mitten shape.

[4] Standard. Little tattoo of an hourglass on his middle knuckle.

[5] Desiccated and shriveled. Looks like bone with tight skin covering; still functions.

[6] Aligned into points. Skin on the tip is regularly cut off to be manicured, else grows long fingernail like protrusions too rapdily; dangle down to touch the floor in two months without a trim.

What's this Mutant's Face like?- 1d6

[1] Chiseled, ragged, teeth grinded down from lifetime of pain.

[2] Innocent, with long hair streaked down. Almost looks like they're hiding their face.

[3] Nose is missing, as though a leper.

[4] Bubbled over from radiation.

[5] Smooshed in, has trouble breathing and speaking at the same time. From physical trauma.

[6] Mouth is pronounced outwards, has inhuman grinding teeth and a weak jaw.

How does he walk? - 1d6

[1] Just fine on his own, thanks.

[2] With a hobble, he has a bad leg.

[3] With a long warbled walking stick. He's a bit older.

[4] With a short iron pipe. Doubles as weapon.

[5] Through short, but still inhumanly capable leaps and bounds. Like a weird frog.

[6] Demands to be carried or pulled in a cart. So emaciated he barely weighs anything.

How does he Protect himself? - 1d8

[1] He doesn't. That's why he needs to “serve” people by “guiding” them!

[2] He doesn't. He runs away and leads his foes into his traps and random monster dens.

[3] An old rifle. He counts the bullets each night before and after sleep.

[4] With a wicked old rusted knife.

[5] Fights with fists and kicks. Mutations have made him inhumanly strong.

[6] With a metal club. Has painted it up and down, “practices” and thinks he's a swordfighter.

[7] Using a hidden natural weapon, granted by mutation. Poison stinger, ejecting his stomach, etc.

[8] Has a pair of well trained dogs. They mean well, despite having eyes that look like fried eggs.

What's his Area of Expertise? - 1d10

[1] Knows a secret bunker that possesses old world ammo + giant killer robot.

[2] Knows how to filter the water from the ancient sewer into something drinkable.

[3] Knows a secret passage to avoid the mutated flesh eating megaphants.

[4] Knows the secret to “master the blazing bolt”. He just straps a car battery to his back.

[5] Draws maps. Maps are child like, with landmarks and little monster stick figures.

[6] Writes books about the land. One fact is dangerously false; acts as copy protection.

[7] Mechanically gifted. Could actually get a car running with proper materials.

[8] Tells tall tales about the old world. He was there.

[9] Everyone owes him a favor.

[10] Is absolutely insane. His mad cackle even gives raiders pause.

What's the One Place he Refuses to take you? - 1d6

[1] An active bomb in a carter. He doesn't want it to blow up.

[2] A nuclear waste dumping ground. Can't afford to absorb any more radiation.

[3] The Metal-Heads' territory. The worst raider gang; weld metal to their skin to prove toughness.

[4] The Albino Pit-Bird's lair. He has nightmares of it eating him alive.

[5] His wife's grave.

[6] A friendly town. Horrible, painful disease has broken out there. It must be contained.

What's his Attitude towards Death? - 1d8

[1] As an old friend.

[2] As a bitter conclusion.

[3] Something people should remember.

[4] Something people should cover with a tarp and leave to rot.

[5] Food for the vultures.

[6] There are worse fates.

[7] I have too much left I want to do.

[8] Sweet release.

Zombie Apocalypse d6 Generator

Time Period of Apocalypse

[1] Few days before it begins. Shadowy rumors of weird cannibal murders.

[2] The night where it goes down. Have to kill your neighbors.

[3] One week after. Government holdouts still active, trying to create safe zones.

[4] Full collapse. Lawless wasteland. Tiny survivor groups try their best to survive.

[5] Years later. Nature overtaking the cities. Many survivors born after the fall.

[6] Reclamation. Zombies only exist as boogeymen in “haunted” places, new societies growing.

Technology & Resources

[1] The gas and water have kept running- survivors manufacture their own weapons.

[2] Propane and fossil fuels are extracted commonly. Cars are pretty common, travel along roads.

[3] Most infrastructure is destroyed; all parts must be scavenged, canned food is usually eaten cold.

[4] Only one or two groups of scientists left trying to cure the plague. Getting guns is a challenge.

[5] Almost all resources and food was destroyed during the plague; nature's bounty must provide.

[6] The world is a wasteland. Zombie virus killing off plants and animals; fresh water is rare.

Survivor Groups

[1] Small family units, roaming the world and creating strongholds.

[2] Groups of gangs prowl to steal or enslave anyone who can't fight them off.

[3] Live on communes and the wilderness- use a pony express deliver mail.

[4] Organized along the road to a safe or better place; most sell or trade, some steal.

[5] Tons of prepper loners in basements and crazies- they're all that survive this long.

[6] Large, complete neighborhoods organize search parties and scavenging missions.

The Infection

[1] Zombies release spores; spending more then 15 minutes breathing spores at once will turn you.

[2] Everyone is already infected; everyone turns 6 hours after death from any cause.

[3] Can turn any large carnivore & omnivore mammals; zombie wolves, pigs, bears, and dogs.

[4] Zombies bite once, then release. You turn within a minute.

[5] All zombie fluids can cause infection; 1 in 4 chance after getting bitten, scratched, or spit on.

[6] If you get bit, you'll turn into a zombie in 3 days. Amputate limb immediately; 50% chance to stop the infection. You'll turn even if you were killed afterwards; must destroy brain to stop this.

Zombie Aggression & Hunting Zombies

[1] Survivors often capture zombies to fight them in pits for fun. Buckets on head will blind them.

[2] Few scattered walkers aren't scary at all; just smash and move on. Hoards are dangerous.

[3] Zombies instinctively gather in groups and are attracted to noise. Gunshots may attract more.

[4] Zombies flood in at the sight of movement, but don't get trapped.

[5] Survivors leave out traps and bait for zombies; set up diversions so they can safely pass areas.

[6] Zombies have seeming 6^th sense to find survivors. Speaking above a whisper can get you killed.

Special Infected Type Frequency

[1] None. All undead are basically the same.

[2] There's exactly one; patient zero. Different from other zombies somehow.

[3] One type; rare. Usually in the center of zombie hoards.

[4] A few kinds; come from uncommon humans who were turned (pregnant, morbidly obese, etc.)

[5] Common. Zombies mutate all the time, even randomly. Evolution in death.

[6] The rule, not the exception. Every zombie is a little unique; Necromorph style body horror.

Zombies Quirk

[1] Zombies very sensitive to smell. Dump out bottles of perfume to make a decoy; bathe often.

[2] Driven by hunger, mostly. Well fed zombies will watch you just pass by, but don't get too close.

[3] Zombies occasionally pick up weapons to use. Cannot operate firearms.

[4] Seem to follow “leader” zombies; usually special infected or the biggest, strongest undead. Zombies will become confused and aimless if leader is killed for a few minutes afterwards.

[5] Creepy remnants of humanity. May repeat actions or try to enter buildings they knew in life. Zombie stares at a faded billboard showing a smiling family. Sometimes; they knock.

[6] They puke, sweat, and gather in damp places. Prefer to keep their skin as moist as possible. Float facedown in pools; still capable of jumping up and attacking you.

WASTED- 20 Deep Cooler Hangovers

These powerful bottles of Booze can only be found in deeper levels of the Cooler. If the first time a Waster drinks Booze is one of these Deep-Cooler Boozes, they receive one of these powers; all further drinks of regular Booze roll on the normal subsequent Hangover table. If the Waster already had a regular power, but drinks a Deep Cooler Booze, they roll on the normal subsequent Hangover table but double the result.

20 Deep Cooler Hangovers

[1] Pabst Polyglot

You can fluently speak both the Enchanted Tongue (Spanish) and the Heartless Tongue (Korean). If you hold a coat-hanger up to your ear, you can make out the transmissions of nearby robots. By sniffing the air, you can identify chemical markers left by mutated animals. You count as having +3 Tinker when hacking computers. Finally, you can roll a reaction check to attempt to imitate the voice of someone else, the moaning of a Rottyman, or the harsh barks of a Spewman and on a good result you can fool someone into thinking that's what you are.

[2] Bloody Mary

Take a flask full of warm blood and hold it in your hands. You can transform it into a Flask of alcohol with a positive buzz effect of your choice. You can use this power once per Cooler run/day.

[3] Millionaire Moonshine

You wake up from getting this WASTED with your pockets and pack stuffed with 3 ply toilet paper. You're filthy rich; gain +1,000,000 TP.

[4] Tuning Fork Tepache

Your body can act as a tuning fork and create very loud reverberations and vibrations as an innate ability. Once per Cooler floor/overworld encounter, you may do one of these-

• Shatter a melee weapon that doesn't have a positive quirk; either on hit or when hit.
• Destroy and reduce an enemy's armor by -3 on a successful melee hit or touch
• Break open a locked door by holding your hand against it and focusing
• Supersonic scream that drives away mutated animals; too high pitched for humans.

[5] Spiked Fruit Punch

You can empower a single extremely powerful punch with radiation power. This turns your fist bright green and glowing with power as you swing it. The punch deals 3d6 damage to a single enemy and can be used once per Cooler run/day.

[6] Vigilant Vodka

You can alert yourself to wakefulness even when asleep, and all enemies have -3 Stealth if they try to sneak past or stealth attack you. You gain +3 Oblit. for remote mines and other explosive traps. You can also set up a weapon-trap with one weapon of any type and minimal scrap materials.

[7] Metallic Mead

By concentrating for a combat round, you can turn your body slightly metallic which gives you +3 armor against all attacks, but you always go last in the initiative order. If you concentrate again you become unable to move or attack, but gain +6 armor until you choose to come out of it.

[8] Wishing Wine

Once per Cooler run/day, you can wish for a minor item of 250 TP value or less to suddenly appear in your hands. Items that come in stacks can also be wished for in stacks, as long as the stack is less then 250 TP in value. You can also use this power to wish for a minor helpful coincidence, or to deal 2d6 damage to one enemy.

[9] Sword-Sangria

Gain +2 Hit. You may conjure forth a sword at any time as long as both your hands are free. It counts as a melee weapon with all positive quirks. If the sword is destroyed or ripped from your hands, you will take 1 damage, but it can be summoned again after this Cooler run/day passes.

[10] Battery Bock

Your body is infused with electricity and you can fire any energy weapon at the cost of 1 HP. You can also shock enemies to stun them and can absorb a full battery of 20 energy units to restore 1 HP. You can also power most standard items that require batteries, such as electronic doors, flashlights, discjoys, and so on without draining any HP.

[11] Klepto Kumis

Gain +2 Sneak. Whenever you pickpocket enemies, you can add your Sneak score and jam up their weapon for that many rounds. You can also slip them an explosive, which will only explode when they violate a 'rule' you set when you place the explosive. Such as “when they exit this room” or “when they notice us”.

[12] Super Duper Stout

You restore +1d6 hit points every time you drink alcohol.

[13] Lucky Liquor

Once per Cooler Floor, you can declare your next attack will be a 'crit'. It deals double damage.

[14] Mentalist Margarita

Gain +3 Tinker. If you concentrate on someone, you can detect some of their thoughts and what faction they belong to, but their secrets will be locked away in a more protected part of their mind. This concentration also gives those who it targets a subtle itch or tic. Most leaders of the various factions and powerful merchants will probably have trained to detect when they are having their mind read.

[15] Absolute Absinthe

Roll four times on the subsequent Hangover table. You gain all of those bonuses, permanently.

[16] Canine Cognac

By giving a treat or Rubber Ducky to a Mutamutt, you can befriend it and have it follow and fight for you. There is no limit on how many dogs you can attract and command, but dogs require food and many dogs will be too noisy to safely take into a Cooler without attracting all of the enemy's within.

[17] Blackmail Bourbon

You wake up from being WASTED with a strange knowledge in your head; you know a terrible, life ruining secret about the leader of one of the main factions of the Western Wastes. Roll on the backgrounds table to see which faction your secret belongs to.

[18] Shooter's Screwdriver

Gain +2 Shoot. Once per Cooler Run/day you can strategically ricochet your bullets off walls and objects to shoot around corners, cut ropes, and do other amazing feats.

[19] Russian Mule

You can now wear 6 fanny packs at once and can carry twice as much.

[20] Bath-Bud

You have this strange, almost irresistible urge to bathe. As one of the only people in the Western Wastes to do this, you get +2 to all reaction checks and are easily considered a 10/10 in terms of attraction to potential sexual partners. Also, taking a bath in semi-clean water lets you purge your body of a negative buzz effect of your choice.