Garden- Ridiculous Fashion Generator

Garden city is filled with all types. From the ultra rich, to the destitute poor. Most people are a little inbetween; struggling to make ends meet but constantly riding the ups and downs of a capitalist society. They are all chasing get rich quick schemes, and sometimes they even work. But among the rich, the decadent and opulent always like to make a splash.

While usually found in the more high class parts of Garden like Sequin Street- the occasional fashionista or particularly flamboyant mob boss can be seen wearing a new ridiculous fashion, followed by paparazzi. These can be out of this world due to the numerous alien species, exotic materials, and advanced technologies that Garden has. Roll once on each table.

How well Groomed/Outward Appearance? - 1d6

[1] Mustache, Fur, or Hair has been waxed to a stiffness. Two filthy orphans paid in pennies are holding up the ends, trailing behind them.

[2] Horn and claws are polished to mirror-chrome. Disorienting, your distended face appears in them.

[3] Pierced with so many gold and silver rings they look more like a walking suit of chainmail then a person. They clink with each tiny movement.

[4] Older or more average body paired with an incredible face. They had major surgery, or maybe a transplant.

[5] Flanked by four exact doubles, just subtly taller and better looking then all of them.

[6] Philanthropist. Handing out stacks of cash, making exotic spices and beads rain down on the crowds. Goodwill overcomes their plain appearance, even if it's just an act.

The Outfit? - 1d12

[1] Blue bedazzled dolphin. Its tail sticks out behind them, bobbing with mechanical attachments; it looks like its 'swimming' as they walk. Rest of their body is barely clothed.

[2] Body painted from head to toe, making them look exactly like a plant. This fits their body shape; tall and skinny aliens look like whispy trees when they stretch out, short broad aliens take a stance and look like a hedge exactly, and so on. This camouflage is so good they'd actually be almost invisible out in the woods.

[3] Absolutely humongous fur coat. Glass and crystal are woven into the fur fibers. The yellow and orange tinged fur is beautiful; looks like fire when it hits the light just right. Nearby sniper teams ready to shoot anybody that is carrying anything resembling a bucket of paint.

[4] Looks like a workman's uniform with bright plaid colors with gorgeous velvet overalls. Functional, working class style with materials and designs befitting the wealthy.

[5] Body is swathed in a fancy cloak and robe, similar to ancient designs and adorned with right angles and geometric patterns. On their head, they wear a plaster maze structure- their face peeking out from the center, painted to match the stonework.

[6] They wear a fashionable tux or tasteful black dress with gold straps; a hulahoop around their waist with a model train chugging along its circular track. It has a little engine that requires occasional thimbles of water to be poured in as coolant. It's powered by a mini nuclear reactor, giving off a healthy glow and an unhealthy amount of radiation.

[7] They're wearing the taxidermy of a boar upside down and backwards, their face between its legs and its tusks poking out their rear end. They think it's hilarious and brilliant at the time, but within 2d6 weeks will cringe at the memory and try to buy off, sue, or assassinate anyone who still has pictures of the pop-fashion monstrosity.

[8] Cultist attire. Wooden masks displaying animals, the sun and moon, snarling devil faces, and even weirder alien icons from different worlds and cultures. Their entourage are wearing them too, but are much less intricate, similar to groucho glasses, and are a clearly disposable uniform for this one event.

[9] They're wearing an all white ensemble, with several nearby techno drones shining lights on it. They're practically lit up like a lamppost, can be a little blinding to look directly at them. Their ensemble and personal guards are on watch; each of these drones is easily worth $200 if snatched.

[10] It's them with a puppet of themselves looking older behind their back, a small model of them as a teen in their older clothes, and then an even smaller model of them as a child. Somebody in their ensemble is holding a “baby” of the celebrity. Very weird, and very masturbatory outfit representing their entire life. Due to alien biology, it may be hard to tell exactly which form of theirs is what age.

[11] Looks like one of those silly sci-fi outfits, made of stiff plastics and accentuating their body shape. If they're a female, its big hips and chest with a tiny waist, where as men have a large angular shoulder piece hanging down to a point at their crotch. It's a random color that changes every 12 seconds.

[12] Outfit is similar to a pilot's jumpsuit, except it's in two separate parts from top to bottom with a matching under shirt. Large white buttons stay unclasped, a silver shining scarf is tied around their neck and waist. Actually looks pretty good as a fashion statement, but they're showing off their wealth in other ways- Roll twice on the Accessories and Entourage tables.

Accessories? - 1d10

[1] Huge clock hung around their neck with golden chain. They have an attendant whose only job is to hold it up, polish it, and crank the gears; they're starting to lose their hearing from the incessant ticking and tocking and glare daggers at their employer. You can hear it across the room.

[2] Eight exotic lizards, each very clearly agitated by the noise and flash photography. At least one is poisonous, and is about ready to spit venom at the next person who leans in too close.

[3] Bucket of flowers in their hand. The flowers are 'friendly' tulips, they 'wave' their petals in a pantomime of a person waving at a crowd. The real reason they are doing that is because of plant muscular contractions hooked up to a battery in the soil.

[4] Ring with a diamond the size of a softball.

[5] They're standing on a tiny platform made to look like a luxury hovercar. It can only move at a brisk walking pace at the fastest, and is dangerously close to toppling them over at any sharp turn at even that speed. If they arrived to the location in a luxury hovercar, then this platform is an adorable and ridiculous miniature version of their ride.

[6] Small advanced robot assistant on their shoulder. Has a personality chip installed that is set to 'smooth talking agent', which the model occasionally switches to 'pathetic sycophant' when needed.

[7] Sword with purple lizard skin sheathe. They'll pull it out and do a cool slash with it in the air to impress any onlookers, before sheathing it again with a practiced slide. There is a 1 in 4 chance they can actually use it in a fight.

[8] Food truck. Not on them, but with their face and a spray painted replica of their current outfit on the side. It's parked outside the venue, and giving out meals for free. In 1d6 turns the homeless and destitute are going to start a riot and flip the truck over to get at the food inside.

[9] Two bracelets made of a nearly transparent green metal. Each one is studded with pyramids of a brownish gemstone worth a decent sum each on their homeworld. They're actually cultural icons; somebody got lost on their home planet and ended up on Garden after stealing the heirlooms. Back in that dimension? The disappearance of these items is the greatest mystery of all time.

[10] Smoking a long golden pipe filled with the finest alien weed in any dimension anyone can name. The ganja cloud is so strong people are getting knocked out from it; clearly the celebrity has been building up quite an immunity.

Entourage? - 1d8

[1] Twenty Mobsters, guns slung over their backs with brass knuckles on their fingers. They're wearing pinstripe suits and generally look tough. These are actual mobsters, but are doing some laid back guard duty today- but they won't hesitate to kill rival gang members they see in public.

[2] Three of Garden's most premiere, up-and-coming primadonna movie stars in their own sparkling dresses. They've each been in only a talkie or two and have let it go all the way to their head.

[3] Powerful Psychic, who levitates things to wow the crowd. Actually there to scan and protect the boss against powerful psychic attacks.

[4] Their childhood friend turned bodyguard. He's a huge alien, a native to the city, with big black eyes and boulder-like skin. He's got four huge guns strapped to his back and is wearing full body armor, pockets filled with grenades. Will take an entire volley of bullets for their friend. Will also survive said volley of bullets.

[5] Half a dozen alien kids of different races in adorable matching outfits; flowery dresses for the girls, little naval outfits for the boys. The celebrity just adopted this group from an orphanage. They're almost certainly going to be split up and sent to different foster homes by the end of the month. This tragedy has happened before; a very angry protest group is being held back by security right now.

[6] Three stiff lipped individuals, from the famed and mysterious torchlight society. They have ash on their fingers, are absolutely silent, and scan the crowds as though expecting a tiger to leap at them at any moment. The people are in awe. These are all cosplayers, and little more. 1 in 10 chance the celebrity actually knows somebody from the Torchlight society; this was just a cover story.

[7] About a dozen politicians, tycoons, figureheads, and stockbrokers tagging along. They're dressed in normal formal ware, smoking cigars, just here to show off the wealth and political connections.

[8] Their newest celebrity relationship. Roll on the Groomed, Outfit, and Accessory tables again. For extra scandal; they may be of a totally different alien species. This relationship will probably be over in a year or two, but 1 in 4 chance they are actually in love for real.