Monday, August 10, 2020

Treasure Map Generator

Who's Selling the Map? - 1d6
[1] Big fat man with a purple belly-button sticking out his too-small shirt.
[2] Three goblins in a trenchcoat.
[3] Giant frog. He sits on the map, which is written on a leaf- no idea how he wrote it. Waterproof.
[4] Shady looking dude with one eye.
[5] Orc. Offers you the map in exchange for letting him go or as a reward for arm wrestling him.
[6] Strange white-haired lady with a red cloak and wearing nothing underneath. Only after you get the offer do you realize she is 100% a fairy and not a human.

What's the Cost? - 1d4
[1] Fair. Surprisingly.
[2] Nothing, but it's shady. You're probably being lead into a trap or it steals your soul or something.
[3] One quarter of the expected haul of the treasure in advance. Roll 1d6x10,000 for the price.
[4] Nothing now, but you're expected to share half the haul. 25% chance they can actually back up their threat with muscle and have a hand in the assassins guild.

What's the Quality like? - 1d4
[1] Faded, degraded, barely legible. It sucks. Hope you got a discount.
[2] Old, but mostly well maintained. One corner is torn off, half a landmark drawing is missing.
[3] It's put on cloth or leather, as its tough and mostly waterproof.
[4] Extremely well made. Has colored illustrations, or red text to indicate important bits.

How Large is the Scale or Distance? - 1d6
[1] All local landmarks, or half a village is drawn out to show what house and hut is of interest.
[2] Less then a day's travel. Mostly natural landmarks, distances aren't measured beyond hours.
[3] Somewhere in the local land. Roads and villages are named to help with navigation.
[4] On the same continent, or on a small island just off of it. Capital cities are named.
[5] In a different land, map might be written in another language. Instructions are broad.
[6] It's in another plane of reality, which is only referenced to by the border illustrations.

What's the Treasure? - 1d10
[1] Huge cache of pirate gold. Enough to fill a whole cargo hold.
[2] Fire's Eye. Giant ruby of unimaginable luster. Expect a dwarf crusade if you don't sell to them.
[3] Demigod sperm. It's in a little vial, remains fluid and potent eternally.
[4] Rain Umbrella. Magic umbrella that calls the rains when opened. Priceless in the desert.
[5] Taxidermy of a huge spirit crow. Size of an elephant.
[6] Amulet of the Jaguar. Grants incredible strength, speed, and madness of the jungle when worn.
[7] Flask of Amber Medicine. Turns water within into healing elixir over three days. Unlimited.
[8] Invisible Tablets of Wisdom. Must be washed with special inks to appear. Holds untold secrets.
[9] Silver Ring of Elvish Eternity. Anyone who presents it to the Elf Princess will be wed to here regardless of species or gender. This will make you the ruler of all Elves; first in millennia.
[10] Sixteen immortal Fishers. The animals are in cages, and horribly starved. They are feral and insane, but can talk if well fed with quality fish for a time. They can talk and are very knowledgeable about the secret ways of the forest and rivers- and their pelts sell for ten thousand gold each.

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