(Rant) Illusion Magic Sucks

Let's be honest, illusion magic sucks. In pretty much every game or franchise. Normally, tabletop games have an advantage over video games in the realm of creativity and player-agency, but with Illusion magic I feel the exception. At the very least, in a video game, you can see the outcome of casting an illusion spell. Watching the AI glitch out and jankily attack other entities in the world from your Rage spell, The decoy that every enemy suddenly turns to attacks, the 50% increased damage taken by the mirror image- hinting it is too squishy to be the real opponent. Both player facing and NPC-facing- Illusion spells are a rare but welcome inclusion, as they are the only real way to trick or interact with hostile NPCs beyond bartering or speech systems inherit to games that have them.

However, Illusion magic in tabletop games suck. I don't think I've ever played a full campaign with an Illusionist in the party, or played one myself. Don't get me wrong, some illusion spells are cool. The classic mirror image or blur spell, invisibility, silence (especially if Silence upon a spell caster is a literal Silence, so they can't even scream out for help? So cool.) But the entire category of Illusion spells or magic? The entire School of Illusion magic? It's so bad.

Typically when people talk about Illusion magic, they mean one of two things. In the more video-gamified sphere, it would probably be any spell that disguises, changes, or magically alters the appearance of a character and/or effecting the minds of characters in a game in some way for an effect. The other classic example being Sleep or Charm- but once again- these aren't actually Illusion spells- at least not in D&D. So instead, Illusions are relegated to fake phenomena. Things like holograms (images without weight or substance), fake sounds, or glamours that disguise. Some more enterprising games do with faking entire sensations- painful false wounds that scale all over the body or illusionry walls of flame that require a morale check to jump through. These uses of the spell all share the same common issue- it's always a trick. That's the point of illusions. The issue here is that they aren't interesting. Once you've beat on Illusion, you've beat them all. The illusion is always the same; a Will check, a Wisdom roll, a round to concentrate to will the illusion away; it's painfully boring. An actual wall of flame is interesting. You can toast marshmallows on it, or dose yourself in water to take less damage to jump through, or try to make a bridge over it made of something that won't burn, or any other number of things that a real obstacle would need to overcome. Illusions don't have that benefit. They are simply a trick- you describe what the players see, and then they figure out its fake.

Codifing and making types of illusions into spells is also terrible. Illusions, being fake things, also have some of the weakest and least well-defined spell rules. Usually, you can just make an illusion of anything with an illusion spell, with some arbitrary restriction (it can't make noise, it can only be so big, etc.) making it honestly less creative then other spells that might breed ingenuity with their limitation. Be honest with yourself; when has anyone ever used an illusion other then for intimidation, or pretend to be someone to get past a locked door with one of those little slides that the guards can peek through? I can't think of almost any. There are some creative exceptions to this of course- a line of illusory customers to make your business seem booming and scaring away your rivals- only to be undone when they discover none of them moving after a long period of time. This is part of the fun of tabletop games, and while Illusion magic can do that, it's a one trick pony. It ONLY does that, and nothing else.

The other problem with Illusion is it is down to DM fiat on how effective it is. If an NPC believes something is real or fake is based on out-of-character knowledge. How common is Illusion magic in the world? If the NPCs take whatever they see at 100% face value, then Illusion magic is too strong, as you could summon a wounded orc outside the camp and they'll open the gates for you every time. If you make enemies too smart, too skeptical, then it does literally nothing. I only see it as a way to start arguments at the table; "You know, people in this world KNOW that illusions exist, right? Nobody is going to believe your ragtag team of level 5 dudes can summon a dragon if we don't give them all their stuff." Then comes the counter- "b-but I've specalized my character to cast illusion magic! That's not fair". This comes the second part- in a fantasy world- who the FUCK wants to be an Illusionist? It sounds cool on paper, but it's terrible in principle. Nothing an illusionist does has any weight- nobody would take them seriously. Once again, nobody would actually seek out an Illusionist for anything. Maybe to hide a castle or trick an enemy- but once again- that's something a mundane, non-magical group of Rogues and thieves can do and would arguably be more interesting. The only "good" Illusionist would be one who disguises themself as any other Wizard and pretends to cast other spells, only tricking people into thinking they are powerful in some other way when they are not. It feels like you're taking extra steps to get the same result. If tricking someone should be easy- it lacks value.

It's also a big problem with scope and power-balance-dynamics in a campaign or world. If Illusion magic is so strong that it can create living illusions that can interact with a world, or do things like trick you into thinking you're leaving an area but really just walking in a circle over and over- then it's way too powerful. (Not even getting into spells like "Shadow Conjuration" which make "Quasi-Real" illusions- at this point it's basically just a budget Conjuration spell.) Essentially equal to mind control, another form of magic that's equally as game-world breaking in its potential power- both for the players and for the DM's own worldbuilding and campaign design. If you can cast a spell to make anyone stab their brother thinking it's a monster- everyone would be investing all their resources into countering and stopping that kind of magic- making it a moot point. If you don't allow illusions to be flexible or have some minor interactivity- then they're too weak. You could counter any illusion by just carrying around a bag of stones and throwing them at it- if the rock doesn't bounce off or hurt them, it's fake. The entire concept of a "Disbelieve" action is just so terrible. I hate this concept. If you're going to prove something isn't real, you need to do it through something that interfaces with the game world. It's the same problem with perception checks- it's a binary yes or no with the DM largely determining how bad it really is to succeed or fail. If you set up a programmed illusion to make a spooky noise or create the image of a monster to scare people from looting your cave away- it will either work or it won't. They'll either run away and never try to enter, or figure out it's fake and ignore it- no real counterplay other then a random chance or check on a character sheet.

However, with all that said, that doesn't mean Illusions can't have a place in fantasy or your fantasy games. Illusions can be extremely cool. But once again, it's specific to how it works and its iteration, not necessarily a player-facing power or feature. Glamors that hide characters true forms are classic, as are mirrors showing the worst side of you in its reflection. But once again, these feel like they should be less like spells and more like aspects or parts of a world that could potentially be created- very rare magic items that can steal people's voices or masks that change your own face while you wear them are cool. One could apply this logic to any magical phenomena, but Illusion is especially enhanced by this touch because it becomes a secondary element to magic. Not a spell or school of magic, but a side activity, almost like Alchemy or something similar- a specialized skill that exists in the world as rare craft- something that few would admit to knowing or trading in. Consider this; would you rather pretend to summon a dragon with an illusion spell that creates one, or dress up your PCs in a multi-person costume and hoist them up with a winch? The fun of tricking people is in the trick; not in ticking off a box on your spell slots. 

Now to be fair- having a suite of different small magical tools used to trick people does make it much easier, and fantasy settings have the benefit of having more "tricks" then real life illusionists do. Not needing to hire a bunch of random townspeople to dress up and just being to create illusions of them is a valid and believable use of "problem solving" with magic as part of any Sorcerer's toolkit. If anything, this post was just to justify why I don't care for Illusion spells and don't really like writing or including them in my games or on this blog. Just an opinion.

Garden- Casino Roll

I'll share with you a secret about myself; I've worked in the casino industry for years. I know about gambling, the games, how to deal them, the psychology of gamblers, and the ambiance of the casino. In fact at a certain point, I stopped being able to smell cigarette smoke.

So partially for this reason, and partially because I think it fits really well, I want Garden to have tons of casinos. In my opinion, a casino is basically the modern fantasy equivalent of a tavern. You have tons of alcohol, drugs, and prostitutes being peddled around in semi-openness. People can meet up and discuss their future plans for adventure in smokey corners, and the casino wants them to stay. The casino wants them in there as much and as often as possible- because their statistically going to make money. What better place to roll on a carousing table and lose all your ill-gotten adventuring gains?

Garden Gambling Rolls

Replace the carousing table with this. Garden doesn't use traditional experience points for progression. Instead, all progression is based on your characters skills, equipment, and relationships. Most of these can be improved or at least maintained with cash; money keeps the lights on, as the Gardeners say.

Whenever you gamble, state your amount to gamble- this your Wager. This isn't a Wager for one bet, it's a Wager for your entire night, so it should be a sizable amount of money. Then, roll 2d6. If your character has had a string of really shitty luck recently (near death damage multiple times, multiple failed saves, girlfriend burned alive by a Psychic Fox, etc.) consider giving them a +1 to the roll. Their luck is changing.

[2] Catastrophic loss. You lost all of the money you were gambling and you owe double that amount to a savage local crime gang. The kind that kill people who don't pay up. Two weeks.

[3-4] Major loss. You took at a loan with the casino equal to your entire wager. They're a professional business and can be talked into a payment plan. If you refuse to pay them or disappear and your wager was over $400, they'll start sending people after you to break your legs until you pay up.

[5-6] Loss. You lose 75% of what you wagered.

[7] At the end of the night you ended up losing half your money. But you made a friend. Gain a minor NPC acquaintance who might have some connections to local figures.

[8-9] Small Win. You get back your wager +10%, a few free drinks, and had a good time. Restore all your stress and cure one point of internalized stress.

[10-11] Big Win. You made back 150% of your original Wager. (Half plus)

If this is the second time this has happened to you, you were just slipped a High Roller ticket by another player. This gets you into a fancy dinner party or a shindig hosted by any of the big shots in the city for free. Though you'll need to get your own ride, select your own wardrobe, and make a good impression with under your own power.

[12+] Huge Win. You made back double your Wager. You could have won more, but somebody (or the house) didn't have enough cash and bet a Strange Object as collateral.

If you bet <$200, it's just some trinket with no real value.

If you bet >$500 it's a minor Strange Object.

If you bet >$2000 it's a major Strange Object

20 Roleplaying "Cold Opens"

[1] The accommodation ray is wearing off. You can feel the new skin membrane between your arms and legs getting thinner by the second; you will soon lose the ability to glide. You're at the top of a one hundred foot tree on the alien planet, and night is falling. You're over a mile away from your outpost, and on this planet the night gets so cold as to crystallize the trees here solid. Only through evolution have they survived this process each night. To a cold blooded reptiliod from a warm desert planet like yourself? Not a chance.

[2] The Undead are breaking through the windows. Gunshots ring out. The glass is cutting into your wrists, but you know the living are right on the other side. Just behind you in the midst of your hoard you can feel your undead queen; she's deeply pregnant with her next brood. You want to eat flesh, but giving the brains of your next victim to her will ensure her progny can read the chalk markings on the walls the survivors lead, they may learn to open doors and use firearms too. They are the next generation of the living dead. Fight and feed your queen.

[3] The Black-Iron Castle has been lost for centuries, and you are on its peak. You and your fellow treasure hunters are pinned down by a gattling gun fired from the blackhawk helicopter- the rival mercenaries seeking to take the castle's loot before you do. On the top of the castle is an iron ballista; it was good enough to kill dragon's in the middle ages, but can it pierce the metal skin of a blackhawk? You see three harpoons left; make them count.

[4] You're all on the back of an elephant, hunting religious extremists in rural India. You wade through 8 ft high grass, and see the rustling of movement below. You clutch your spear close; those shapes are too low to the ground and heavy to be humans. It can only mean one thing; Tigers. Man-Eaters.

[5] You are all men in your late teenage years. You are in a muddy trench, up to your knees in bloody mud shit-water. You hold identical rifles with silver runes on the side; you can only hope they are enchanted enough to harm your foes. You hear the sound of a machine roaring, and the screams of the innocent people trapped inside its broiler to power the infernal device. The tank is about to roll over your position- you can stay and be entombed, or go over and face the machine gun fire.

[6] Get every player around the table to say one “The Animal goes X” based on its sound. Cow goes moo, duck goes quack, cat goes meow, and so on. Once that is finished, everybody plays as the animal they impersonated wearing a cheap tie- all of you are on stage in front of a hundred microphones each; a flurry of questions are coming your way. Which one of you will win the election and become the next President of the United States?

[7] Select one player at random. They are currently holding a baby over the still water basin at the baptism. Tentacles slide from its fake skin and wrap around their arms and hands. The windows outside the church shift and show the sky as though a million miles from Earth. The civil war veterans in their chairs start to jump up and gyrate, calling upon their outsider god to devour your essence. You roll your eyes- this is the third time this has happened this year. Each player must roll to see how quickly they can pull out their Edison-Tech Volt Guns and vaporize these star spawn.

[8] Select one player at random. Their character's tongue is deep inside the mouth of a heavyset 6'3 fat guy wearing bright yellow spandex. They're the girlfriend character cheating on their “lover”, a separate wrestler, who is just now coming onto the stage. The other players are the girl's family members watching her performance up on stage. The twist is all of them know this is just an act, wrestling is just a reality show masquerading as a sport after all, but the wrestlers do not know that, and in fact they think it's very real. The spurned simpleton boyfriend is frothing at the mouth in rage, and he looks about ready to kill everyone up on that ring.

[9] Select one player at random. Their character just drank down a shot of the special purple ghost-liquor, which inflicts drunkenness instantly. Beyond flopping around in their chair, another character get slid a note from some faceless flapper in the crowd. Reading it makes their blood freeze; somebody in the speakeasy knows the party are federal agents.

[10] All of you are elves. You each carry a dying willow branch; you're hundreds of miles from the nearest sacred tree, much less entire grove, that could heal your injuries. Each player rolls a 1d6 to determine where and how severe they have a wound- 6 means the head and you're stumbling around. You each carry 2d4 White Arrows, after which you will be defenseless. All of you dying, and just as you cross over a red desert ridge you see an orc patrol headed your direction.

[11] All of you just died. You were on a bus headed to Toronto, and it had fallen off a bridge into the arctic ice. All of you are still freezing cold and scratched up, since you have no yet been given bodies by the Lord God himself to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You stand before Saint Peter, holder to the keys of the kingdom- who checks his records. Turns out, all of you got mixed up with a bus full of cartel members guilty of horrible crimes. You're destined for hell. You see the smug cartel guys just behind you in line, giddy to get let in the pearly gates.

[12] You're all working at the Twinkie factory. Each player has a different job- there is a line worker filling pastries with custard, an accountant walking past with a clipboard, a janitor, an engineer fixing a machine. Each of you lock eyes for a moment- you know the Worker's Revolution begins now. The DM will describe the surroundings around each character round robin style, detailing the possible weapons. The Line-Worker has a pastry filler that could fill a punctured lung with white cream; the janitor has access to chemicals that could burn off a face; etc. As soon as one is used, all hell breaks loose.

[13] You're all tweakers in a seedy apartment complex. Each of you is addicted to a different drug; when you're on your drug, you get super human abilities in that aspect. The adderal pill-popper can think through complex math and technical problems in seconds, the cocaine addict moves hyper fast, the heroine junkie can ignore pain and tank blows, etc. You just shot and killed your dealer, and each gains 1d4+1 doses of your favorite drug. After you each roll your new finds, you hear a groan as he starts getting up, the aching hole in his head where you can see through his brain not slowing him down in the slightest.

[14] Each player picks their favorite color. If two players have the same favorite color, get specific with the shades and tones of the color so each has a distinct one. Then, each player-character finds themselves trapped in a box of that color, they are all ghosts trapped in paintings of solid color of their favorite color- the anchor that binds you to his realm. Each one feels what the painting feels. The last guests trickle in at 10 minutes until closing and all of you know that the fire that's about to engulf this place tonight will rend your souls to ash.

[15] Everybody is lost up in the mountains, climbing on slippery footfalls and precarious ledges. Each character is holding one ancient Mesopotamian artifact, which buzz with ancient energies. The first one to get broken will bring the wrath of that God upon the party- a swarm of locusts or blood drinking bats, an eclipse to hide your path, fires rising from the Earth, such punishments will befall you depending on which God is broken. The other God statues can be sated to give their protection from the curses or to bypass gaps too big to jump safely, but only by giving up 1d6 hit points worth of blood. Everyone in the party is a healthy adult with 2d6 hit points. Good luck.

[16] You're all lost in a hedge maze. Each of you holds a small remote control with a big red button, all identical. Pressing the buttons makes some walls sink, some walls rise, some make mechanical clicks that activate or turn off the traps around the place. You know what each one of yours does- you've experimented with them and know about the 30 second delay between each remote working to allow another one to be pressed. It's just then you hear the Minotaur coming. You trip and fall on each other, and your remotes all end up in an identical pile at your feet, scrambled together.

[17] The fire snaps at your heels. Each player rolls a 1d8 to determine what floor of the hotel they are on. Everyone above the first floor must try to get to a clear stairway, go to the roof to wait for rescue, or jump out a window to get safe. Each player also rolls a 1d8 to determine how powerful their psionic abilities are; with an 8 being able to beat back the fire for a moment, and a 1 only giving vague hints of future events not relevant to this situation. Everyone with a psychic power rating of at least 4 can communicate with each other. The faces in the fires snap and cackle at you, jumping from furniture to carpet to door, trying to cut off your escape routes.

[18] Each player takes control of a single girl in the sultan's grand harem. You have weapons stowed away in the rare occasions they are necessary; one has a shiv, the other a blackjack, the third a poison berry, the fourth a wand with one charge, the fifth a hidden mini-crossbow with a single bolt, etc. One night while preparing to kill the brutish sultan, you hear a window of the palace get knocked open. The guard in the room is dead. Somebody else is creeping through the halls.

[19] You're a group of hikers in the woods. You hear the cube before you see it, the dull hum like a jet engine through one hundred thousand layers of fabric. The muffled noise can be heard clearer when you step to the edge of the pond. Each character sees it as a different color. It's slowly spinning in place, and when the angles are right in all directions the cube stops rotating and starts moving towards the shoreline. The side of it closest to you all starts to open up.

[20] You're all detectives. Roll up your characters be deciding what donuts you eat from an assorted box. You're investigating a murder scene when the corpse's dismembered head starts rolling on the ground. Before any of you can react, it rolls down the stairs into the dark basement.

[Campaign] Kingdom of Gan Introduction

I have recently recruited several players for an online game. The system is using a combination of the ASU ruleset, minus classes, and the Dirt Simple Dominions Magic rules for magic. Ever since I read this blogpost years ago about having something like a simple point-buy system for creating characters, I've wanted to run one, and here it is.

The Kingdom of Gan is ruled by a wise, mighty, and above all else just King, known as the 100 years King, for his reign was foretold to last 100 years. On the first day of his final year, he went on parade with his young daughter, but out of the sky came a black bolt of lightning that struck both of them, and they disappeared.

Now the seven Kind Counts, the Kings closet allies and advisors, are scrambling to find him. All across the land they are searching for and recruiting the help of the greatest heroes and adventurers to find the King and the Princess.

The blue-clad Count Geoff of Talia hires five extraordinary people to search for his majesty;

Ulfar the Lion The very strong knight hailing from a noble family, secretly is a prodigy with death magic. Skilled with sword and shield and heavy armor, he is attended by servants and a foolish squire.

Thalassa The charismatic adventuress is a ship captain and possesses a magic amulet that warns her of danger and guides her on her quest. She is skilled with spear and net and speaks another language.

Minadora “Mina” Arletto The stealthy and skillful Rogue hailing from Talia. She is skilled with cloak and dagger as well as lockpicks and has +1 bonus AC from her natural swiftness.

Charibert “Bert” Oakheaver A strong halfling with some powers in Earth and Nature magic. He is skilled in hand to hand combat; able to take on those that underestimate his size.

And Hazel the Half-Dragon Is a very strong halfbreed, crossed between a human and an air dragon; raised by a man who slayed her dragon mother. Still has the slayer's magical, lifesensing scythe.

These five purchased armors and supplies, and loaded onto Thalassa's ship, the Anne-Marie, while attended by Ulfar's servants. Bert gave some coins to a young beggar child, and was given a single mysterious Earth Agate as a reward for his kindness.
The Count had spoken of three places near his region that might have something to do with the disappearance of the King; the city known as Delta-City to the South, filled with pirate scum, the Carnarium Empire to the West, which views Gan with hungry eyes, and the Mountain Giants to the Southwest, who have the air magic but not the motive to kidnap the King with the black bolt.

And so, the heroes set sail down South to Delta City while Ulfar's Brother, Mikael the Bear seeks the Mountain Giants, and his father, Remieth Ostamer, seeks audience with the Empire to the West.

Our first session was just introductions and a bit of shopping, and this blog will chronicle the events of the campaign a few weeks behind the actual events. I am extremely excited for the actual campaign and have enjoyed being able to put my plans to use.

Miitopia Inspiried Friendship Levels & Perks

While I haven't played the game myself, I've seen several videos and know someone who has played the recent Miitopia game. I think the turn based battle system, while very simple and obviously easy since it's more of a fun casual Mii game is pretty good. But most interesting of all is how characters who bond throughout the adventure actually get in-game bonuses to their actions during their turn.

Many new roleplaying games, both rules-lite and retroclones, seem to be fond of character bonds, which for those who don't know are sort of like generated roleplaying in the game's character creation. I feel as these two elements could be combined together to create a sort of character growth and relationship building exercise.

Bonds & Friendship

Every time you fulfill or complete a bond between two characters, write down the other character's name and a +1 on each character's sheet. This is their relationship or friendship level. When one of these characters saves the other's life, add another +1 to their bond.

This means that, in most games, you could get a maximum of +4 per relationship level. +1 for each character completing a bond with the other character, and then +1 for each character saving the other's life. You could extend this depending on the length of your campaign and depth of roleplaying, but this seems simple enough to be implemented early level.

Friendship Level Perks

♥ 1- You can now aid your friend. On any d20 roll, NOT inluding saves and attacks, you can roll as well. If you succeed your roll, add +2 to their roll. This can be encouragement, holding out your hand so they can jump up, teaching them how to do it, etc.

♥ 2- You can now aid your friend for saves and attacks.

♥ 3- Once per day, you may take an attack for your friend. You have to be in position (in front of or next to) your friend to take the attack for them. This is done before the attack is rolled, which means your AC is used when calculating if it hits.

♥ 4- Mind affecting spells now don't let you act against your friend. If you'd be charmed into hurting your friend, you don't. If you'd be enraged into hurting your friend, you don't. If both of you are enraged you might wrestle or break each other's equipment but not actually hurt the other person. Other spells, like Sleep, may or may not be resisted depending on how much your friends needs you to not be under the effect of the spell for their own well being.

Dungeon of the Shepard's Crook- play report

The Dungeon of the Shepard's Crook was not just an off the cuff dungeon made for this blog; it was actually used in play! Here's what happened.

The Game One

After a basic rules explanation, and a very short diatribe about the Red God- the players go rolling for stats. Mostly average stats- but the Wizard had a -2 to strength and had a tiny load of 6. I tell them to just pick any race they can think of if they want to, based on their stats, because I'm not giving bonuses this time. The players create a Halfling Rogue, whose name I don't remember, and a Gnome Wizard named Igor, and we decide that the starting town would therefore be mostly populated by members of that race.

I tell them the situation. Their Dungeon Goal is to recover a magical item called The Shepard's Crook. It's one of those curved sticks that shepherds use to control sheep, but its also a great symbol of luck and the magic of the springtime in the village. Along with that, a halfling girl has gone missing about a month ago which may be related.

They begin play at the dungeon already, starting at the bottom left and working their way right. They make their way past the fish bone corridor, after the Wizard player wastes a mana point casting a flare that only lasts one minute when he thought he could use it for a whole turn. After that, the magician rests to recover 1 mana point by reading his spellbook while the Rogue knocks away all the bones to make it easy to pass by silently. They enter room 11 which they name the fabric room, for me basically implying there are tents in there.

They hear chittering voices and the Rogue player lights a tent on fire. I count this as a sneak attack. I roll 1d8 and get a 5. With both his Rogue sneak attack bonus + the Galcialics huge weakness to fire, the first one dies in the confusion, then Initiative is rolled.

The party fights, using both fire magic and the Rogue's claw weapon + torch to attack the little icy goblins. The party is quickly overwhelmed after killing 3 of them, 5 was obviously too many for a party size of only two members.

Because it happened so quickly into the game, and because we were still in the middle of laughing our asses off at the combat, the players quickly roll up two new characters. This time a human Wizard named Glassman, equipped with an iron helmet that looks like giant pair of sunglasses and Igor 2, a gnome warrior here to avenge his father/brother's death.

Pacer

 The Game Two

Because of the first game's rapid death spiral and huge damage from all enemies, the players wisely invest in a lot of armor this time. They are the second group that are coming after the first two didn't return a few weeks ago.

They enter the dungeon and this time charge down the fish hallway at d. They roll for a wandering encounter check due to the noise, but end up getting a high number for Unaware Monster result. Turns out one of the Glacialics has their back turned to the door, and they stab him in the back, killing

Despite it clearly only working on smaller objects then this, the Wizard casts the 1 mana telekinesis spell to make the corpse dance like a puppet with the shortsword still stuck in it. I roll the monsters morale and they bolt. They break the door from 11 leading to c hallway and one of the players smartly lays down on the ground and notices that one of the tiles is raised higher then the others. They deduce it is a trap and move past it without triggering it.

Entering room 9 I roll a d4 and on a roll of 1, that means the shaman is there, not noticing the party due to looking at the mana potion. The Wizard performs a very funny sneak attack; direct fire bolt to the monster's icicle head and then smashing him with a sack of marbles. The shaman goes down without getting a single attack or turn in. They loot the room and find the porcelain coin underneath the pillow before going north to 6.

They peer into the door and decide to turn back, possibly because they were worried about some kind of magical trap or something. They ignore 12 completely and go up b hallway, and when they reach 5 they see little shit-smear footprints leading deeper in. They don't go in there and instead go north to 3. They take the south hallway and see it loops back through the cold room, then they pick the locked door successful with an easy Skill Check and head to 4.

They hear the heavy loud pacing of the monster Pacer and Igor the Gnome Fighter goes to fight it instantly. I'm not sure if the players had a death wish or if they were just trying to kill everything in the dungeon lickety split. They end up waiting for Pacer to come by and the Wizard spreads marbles on the ground to trip it up. Despite Pacer being quite large I gave him a saving throw as well, which he made. He crushed one of the marbles with his bulk and then stared at the party, revealing his ugly teeth. The fighter drops the torch and does a downwards uppercut with his sword, only dealing two damage. Then the Wizard picks up the torch and throws it into Pacer's mouth, and he chews it to dust in seconds, but the fire deals 1 damage.

Pacer slams the Fighter and actually knocks him to 0 HP. The Wizard uses 1 mana point to revive the other character, a close call but allowing the fighter to recover.

Unbeknownst to them, despite being a 2 HD creature, Pacer only rolled 4 health points. He was almost dead at this point. Regardless, they led the beast all the way to the trap in c and let the lumbering monster activate it, which finished it off. They lock themselves into the shaman's room to rest for two turns, recovering both mana and 2 hp. Despite not having brought a first aid kit I just let them have it as though they did; they just made bandages from the bedsheets instead.

Coming down from c and room 11, they go up north on the split from d hallway and find 10. Breaking down the door at 10, they find the altar and take the coin and are excited to have found the shepard's crook. They still explore the dungeon instead of leaving though.

They go through the other locked door to 8, and find a bunch of bones and such the glacialics were probably going to feed to Pacer. They also find a chisel that they take with them. They then reach 2, where they find the gargoyle head. They deduce it is probably trapped and they destroy the gargoyle's teeth, so I adjudicate that if it bites it will now only deal 1 damage. The Fighter who took the necklace only had one health, but miraculously he made his Hazard save. The Magician looks it over and wears the necklace to be used as a mana store.

Finally they decide to go investigate 12. However as they enter 11 the remaining two icy goblins, who were hiding in the waste area at 5, found them. Instead of rolling for a reaction check or anything, we just initiate combat instead, the fighter charges in and attacks. On the monster's retaliation, it rolls a 1 to hit the fighter so I let him trip or disarm the glacialic for free and he does so, now pinning him down with his foot. The Magician uses a 2 mana fireblast spell to hit the standing glacialic and kills it.

Surprise, the pinned glacialic makes a save and bobs the fighter in the kneecap with his spear, letting him get back up and make an attack. In the next round the icy goblin kills the fighter, and then the magician uses up the mana store necklace to blast the goblin to death with his fire bolt. After dragging his companion out of the dungeon, he rescues the girl at 12 who may be returning as a replacment PC for my player who died at the last moments of the dungeon. Despite the girl telling them about hearing coins being dragged in a heavy bag, the magician doesn't stick around and they leave.

The character are treated to a nice epilogue of returning to town. Along the way, the flowers bloom and the clouds part. Sheep just off the side of the road suddenly stop and turn their attention, following the returning mage holding the shepard's crook back to town, the magic within it still potent and untarnished by the grasp of the evil Red God. Finally, I told the human wizard that one of his hands over the next few days turns red, as though stained by wine permanently, the price from stealing from the Red God.

Feedback & Conclusion

Since both my players were also fellow dungeon masters in the past, I thought I could get good feedback out of them. They described the experience as fun, fast and loose was enjoyable to them, but more consistency with the rules would have been preferred. I agree with this, because I know I forgot to use a lot of mechanics, and had unfinished rules when it came to initiative and encumbrance penalties; the dead fighter didn't even know about getting a bonus to his to-hit at first level!

Both being DM's though, they weren't expecting my brand of OSR creativity and random content. They had no idea what monsters they were facing despite having good gameplay grasps, and both of them thought that was a great part of it too. Personally I enjoyed myself despite thinking I could have done a better job next time. We'll see if Igor the third makes a return, or if Glassman goes anywhere in life.