Sunday, July 22, 2018

20 Fantasy Pests

[1] 'Noblin. Shittier version of a goblin; about the size and smarts of a rat, but somehow more pathetic. Steals small items, tips over small objects, spreads crumbs, peel chips of paint, and do other annoying things around the house. Some claim are the reincarnated spirits of goblins who didn't do enough evil.

[2] Pixie. Very small, agile, annoying creatures that like to prank you and cast minor hexes. Live in the forests and sometimes lure people away with ghostly lights.

[3] Astral Bunny. Very cute, glowing bunny rabbit. Well liked by Wizards and apprentices, until it tears up their reagent garden and destroy all of their mana-rich plants. Need a magic trap or dog to hunt these, or Cloudkill their whole burrow.

[4] Repeater Raven. Loud cawing raven that screams a random word or phrase. This word or phrase will repeat in your head over and over until you can find a situation to use it in conversation. Whispering it or saying it to yourself doesn't work. Deals -1d4 Charisma damage if you take more then a day to say the phrase, but is restored as soon as you say the repeated phrase.

[5] Prismatic Mantids. Tiny, tiny preying mantis creatures that live on colorful flowers. Have a million different species, each with the exact same color as the flower they live on; go extinct all the time. Annoying because you can't see them before they snip at your finger and give you a tiny little cut if you tried to grab their flower.

[6] Sky Manta-Ray. Their bottom is light blue as the sky and can simulate clouds. Bumps into wizard towers all the time and come tumbling to the ground, or accidentally fly into open windows and get stuck in rooms. Die if they touch anything.

[7] Zamberloon. One eye, one tooth, one arm, one leg; bright purple. Try to saw the limbs off newborn infants, but thankfully too weak to do that even if they manage to hop in through the window. Still injuring infants with little bites and sometimes makes them sick. Rumors of huge ones that live far away that rip and stomp apart men.

[8] Splintercat. Extremely fast cat that slams into trees headfirst, causing splints and branches to fly off everywhere, but leave the tree still standing. Said to always have a bad headache because of this. If you piss one off, it will charge at you at such speed it does 2d6 damage and ruin your armor.

[9] Shattercat. Closely related to a Splintercat; said to suddenly burst forth from a tree when a lumberjack hits it with his axe; causing splinters to rain down on him. Many believe these two to be the same species; the Shattercat merely being a nesting or nursing Splintercat.

[10] Ratlisk. Basilisk mixed with a rat; snake that slithers around with a rat's head. It's glare can kill anything with >1 HD; humans and bigger are only stunned for a round instead. Eats housecats.

[11] Shutlid. Elastic muscle-like creature mixed with a slug. Grows inside of treasure chests, drawers, and pots and sticks itself to the lid, making it nearly impossible to open. Takes 3 or 4 of the strongest men in the village with iron prybars to open up something it nests in.

[12] Chickenfox. It's a fox that is wearing a chicken's costume. Nobody knows if foxes are actually smart enough to make a costume like that, of if it's the work of some forest spirits or something else. Live among chickens, slowly dwindling their numbers as the farmer is confused as to what is killing his chickens. But sometimes it's tail pokes out and it doesn't lay eggs; so attentive farmers can figure it out.

[13] Rust Puppy. It's a cute little red doggy that likes to play with magic wands, swords, armor, scrolls, and destroy them. Can actually damage and drain these items of their enchantments. Immortal dogs that are ignored by most creatures; if fed enough magic items can actually grow into an adult Rust Dog and be trained to use its nose to sniff out magic. Popular pets among Wizards.

[14] Invisible Fleas. Fleas that cause instant itching sensation, invisible, jump from creature to creature. Not very dangerous unless quarantined on one being; itching sensation will get so intense and bites will get so common as to cause insanity and health loss. Can be killed by invisible pesticide.

[15] Pillow Bogey. Imp that lives in pillows and beds; comes out at night to spread rheum around your eyes, mat your hair, and give you bad breath. You get rid of them by literally beating your pillows until they run out.

[16] Iron-Dick Beetles. Beetles that hibernate every few years and, during mating season, swarm outside. Climb onto rocks, bricks, anything hard enough to slam their iron-tipped penises and create a very loud, annoying noise. They do this to attract mates. Absolutely despised for both the loud noise and because they damage and destroy ceramic tiles, masonry, and cobbelstones.

[17] Ontoppers. Invisible spirit creatures that like to stack and balance rocks on top of high places and pointy roofs when nobody is watching. Sometimes the rocks fall down and injure people or break things, so to appease the spirits people in villages that have them make small cairn stones that the Ontoppers can play with.

[18] Black Laughter. Wispy spirit that gathers to places of tragedy, funerals, and sacred places. Makes low, whispering laughter to get people to accuse each other of laughing and mocking the sacred. Wizards like to catch them for use in alchemy.

[19] Hydrelephant. Huge filter feeding 'mass' that lives in rivers and swamps. It's paper thin and transparent, so whenever living creatures get near it it swells up to a huge size and spits water at them. Despite being as big as an elephant and shooting water strong enough to knock over a fully grown man, it's not really dangerous unless it knocks you downstream.

[20] Boggarts. Creatures that live in darkness and eat dust; usually hide within closets or inside cabinets. They cannot stand light, so if someone opens their hiding place they'll take the form of a creature that scares people and jump out, so they can run away and dissipate safely. Lesser boggarts take the form of things like goblins, snakes, big spiders, imps and so on, but cannot actually hurt people. It is said there are some boggarts that can actually shapeshift into very dangerous creatures.

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