Thursday, October 18, 2018

Ironlore- Iron Ages OSR + Random Tables

Like most Dungeon Masters, my game worlds and settings have a sort of anachronistic, but primarily medieval European bent to them. Some people go all in with their historic basis for a fantasy setting, and some, like myself, just put in whatever bullshit we want.

However; after some observation I want to steer my fantasy roleplaying towards a more Iron Age bent. The world is more dangerous, and small fortified villages fit nicely in a points of light style world. With a lower tech level you can justify armor mattering as little as it does in most cases- plus chainmail being heavy and noisy and expensive fits better with game balance as opposed to the real life superiority of platemail over any other kind of armor. The general design overview of man vs nature fits more then the man vs himself sort of religious monsters/demons of medieval times. The stakes are smaller and more personal, which fits a little better for roleplaying game plus the relatively small organizations the players become upon reaching name level. Plus; nobody has to explain why the rich and powerful Kings and Knights haven't raided all the tombs already!
-Ironlore-
The Clans
Clans are the main organization for the people in the setting, at least for those living in the “player character” zone. Foreign places can be almost anything else, but clans are familiar. Each clan is lead by a Lord or chieftain, almost always the strongest warrior. Clans are made up of the extended family of the Lord, his closest allies, various smallfolk farmers and workers, conquered peoples and slaves, and finally outcasts and hangers-on who stay near the clan for safety while only being partially accepted.

Clans are not nomadic; they live in small colonies and hill forts in their territory, and farm or raise livestock to make food. Some live a nearly hunter gather-level of existence, while others rely on trade to supplement what they have. Clans fight with their neighbors constantly, and capture and ransom each other during the months of the year when little attention is needed for the farms and animals. Large towns are either city-states, or very large and fat clans that have grown into something else.

What symbol represents this clan? - 1d20
[1] Twisted Knots, they are known for their scheming nature.

[2] The dopey face of a manatee. They farm these animals in shallow aquiculture swamps and pools around their territory; their fat and oil is sold to make soap and to power lanterns.

[3] An iron bloom getting struck by a mallet. They pride themselves on their iron.

[4] Several moons orbiting the suggested curve of the world. One of the moons depicted is a secret moon that nobody sees in the night sky and only the greatest Wizards and Astrologers know of it. Yet the clan knows of it and has even drawn its color and a few of its trenches.

[5] The severed head of a goblin. This clan hunts goblins in its spare time, and its youth include goblin slaying in their rites of passage.

[6] Crossed Axes. Strong warrior culture.

[7] Black Arrow on a white canvas. They decide the chieftain by archery contests.

[8] Woman playing a harp by a stream, her hair is black at the root and slowly turns gold as it goes out to the tips. This image and associated legend is based on the clan's mythical origin story; the blood of that demigoddess runs through them.

[9] Clay pot with a tongue poking out the lid and licking the rim. This image is based off of a centuries old in-joke that nobody gets anymore.

[10] Unicorn getting its neck broken by a burly warrior.

[11] An eyeball about to get punctured by a big spiky point. The clan only uses this in wartime to intimidate foes, and covers the symbol with cloth when at home, since it's an uncomfortable image.

[12] Three red bars atop a green circle.

[13] Runic glyph. Takes four common runes meaning Strength, Honor, Family, and Faith and bends them into a lotus flower like shape. Takes a few minutes to realize that it's made of runes.

[14] Green apple with a bloody hole on the side; a lion's head is peeking out.

[15] Man riding a horse and lifting a huge sword above his head. The sword is as long as the horse. The real sword is just as big, and hung up in the clan hall by ropes. It's so heavy and large that no normal warrior could ever use it.

[16] Four squares of different colors; each one represents one of the four families of this clan.

[17] Man wrestling a bull by the horns. Due to the bad artwork, posture, and anatomy it looks vaguely sexual and unintentionally hilarious.

[18] Spear with a blue ribbon tied just beneath the head. The warriors adorn their spears the same.

[19] Three stones with glowing magical winds overhead. The clan welcomes magic users and trades spells. Their resident magicians aren't very powerful, but have useful hearth magic.

[20] Generic dragon breathing fire. Nobody in the clan has ever actually killed a dragon.

Metal
There are two primary metals that are vital to the life of the people and the clans. There is Pale and there is Iron. Pale is called Pale Gold, White Gold, or Electrum. It's got some of the shine and color of gold, but lighter and softer, plus it has some of the luster of silver before it tarnishes, along with other metals. It's value is high enough for wealth, but not so high that people can't use it in their day to day life. 

While a handful of coins or bits of coin can pay your daily expenses, thousands of coins are a small fortune. If you want bigger currency, use gemstones. Pale has some of the power to harm and turn monsters; which is why it is forged into holy symbols or made into magically protective charms. The only people who have pure silver or pure gold are the dwarves, who view Pale as a resource for further refining into pure metals.

Iron needs no introduction.

Where does the clan gather metal? - 1d20 - Roll once for Pale and once for Iron
[1] Meteorites fall in their valley. They keep the kids and elders awake at night so they can watch where the fall, and the clan members will seek them out in the morning. Sometimes, a big meteorite will land outside of the valley, and the warriors are summoned to go get it. This clan claims ownership of all meteorites that they see fall, and so feuds with other clans over them are common.

[2] From the bellies of big dumb Auegors. They're like ogres or trolls, but have a goat head, no arms, and are objectively not people so don't even ask. They stayed tied down their whole life and the clan force feeds them scraps and other inedibles. Once they get old enough and turn gray in the fur, they are slaughtered and their bellies are cut open to take out the raw, unprocessed ore. Occasionally, one will slip loose and stomp a few villagers to death or break some fences and have to be put down since they're really hard to catch.

[3] They don't. They need to trade, steal, or war with other clans to get this metal.

[4] Within Brandybrock cave. The more they dig out, the further they have to go inside, and they're starting to dig into a monster cave deep underground.

[5] Every baby in this clan grows unusual metal teeth during their first few years; 1d4+1 if iron and just 1 or 2 if Pale. These fall out naturally as normal baby teeth do, and are gathered and melted down and shared among the clan based on the parents and who needs it the most. Hellish for nursing mothers. The clan keeps this secret, lest they be enslaved.

[6] The clan's oldest females gather around to share the secret of spinning the metal out of cotton and wool. It's kept a secret for a reason; it is said anyone who reveals the secret outside of the clan will suffer unimaginably and naturally destroy the clan too. Spinning too much thread at once will anger the spirits as well; so the old seamstresses go slow and produce a steady supply of special thread.

[7] In little nuggets on the ground, you can just walk up to them and pick them up. They get taken advantage of by every other clan though, and the nuggets are getting harder to find in recent years. The youth are berating the elders for wasting their precious treasures like fools.

[8] The clan digs up ore in their hills. Those hills are cursed too; everyone who goes out there either comes back with a broken bone, raspy lungs that take years to heal, or a sneaky monster terrorizes the camp where the diggers sleep. The clan sends their upstart youths, undesirables, cowards, and hot heads looking for something to prove up there.

[9] Yearly wrestling competitions with the orcs from the ridge. The orcs wear humanoid masks and your people wear pig-like when they meet them, but everyone knows they're orcs and they all know you're not. This is the only circumstance when you can meet the monsters without bloodshed; the orcs grant ingots to those who can beat them at a wrestling competition. Other clans think you're a bunch of pig fuckers and can't be trusted.

[10] They pan for it on the side of the river, swishing that silt around over and over to get a few tiny shards. It's boring work, but eventually it yields the metal they need.

[11] They gather it from the bright red grasses that grow on their lands. The grasses are gathered up in huge piles, burned in bonfire celebrations, and the ash is sieved again and again to pluck out the metal bits. Since the grass naturally absorbs the metal in the earth, any animal who eats the grasses here will get sick and die, so this clan cannot have herds of animals unless they are carefully managed or raised in a far off valley.

[12] Sacrifices of food, cloth, and deeds declared in favor of the Gods are common among the yearly festival. The children place out wicker baskets covered in cloth and by morning, they are filled with iron or pale. Sometimes they are filled with stone instead, which is a sign of not enough sacrifices and a lack of proper respect to the Gods.

[13] This clan has enslaved a small tribe of badger-people to mine ore for them. The badgers walk naked and are total simpletons, but their culture hints at them being more then mere animals. In exchange for water and food, they must dig and give up their ore. Some of the clan fear an eventual uprising or divine retribution for this industry.

[14] Once ever few years, the sacred tree this clan tends to sprouts an iron apple, or once every few decades if it's pale gold. It's purity is quite a sight to behold. It has a great shine which makes it more valuable before it is worked into other units, and very rare high value trade deals between this clan and another might involve a full sacred apple as a payment or dowry.

[15] This clan borders a large lake or the ocean itself. Within the deep water is a massive shipwreck filled with ingots, but the best swimmers can only get down there long enough to grab a handful before returning to the surface. Those who swim too greedily drown from the extra weight. The location of this shipwreck is a mystery to outsiders, but the clan incorporates fish, splashing waves, or boats split in half in their iconography.

[16] The clan has a large store of this metal, reclaimed from an ancient time and placed within a sealed tomb. Those who do not know the passwords and secret ways will find a dangerous dungeon, its defenders ready to defend the clan's treasure to the death. For the clan however, it is easy to extract some of the metal when they need it, and restocking the treasure hoard for future generations is always on their mind.

[17] Odd, bright colored lichen grows on the rocks on the rivers and streams. Huge quantities of it are scrapped off, left to dry, and forged to create a tiny amount of the metal. The clan keeps careful watch of the lichen and hunts it almost to extinction each time they need metal, but always leave enough so it can grow back.

[18] This clan farms rocks. They push the rocks around a field, angling their shadows, and flipping them over. Over the months, the rocks slowly grow from pebbles to boulders. When they split the rocks open there is anticipation; some years they find good ore and eat well, others it is full of clay and they starve. They also sell the rocks to masons; but all rocks lose their growth once they leave the farm.

[19] They collect colorful sand from the nearby dunes and beaches. They then pour special acids on it to make it into grit ore. The only people who know how to make the acid are the villager elders and shamans, but they have no qualms selling it to outsiders for weapons or other uses.

[20] This clan is warlike and managed to capture a wealthy member of royalty from the next kingdom or empire over. Due to the complex exchange rates, value of firstborn sons, weighted scales involving ore and a very fat, very old cow the clan keeps just for this purpose; the clan is owed a stipend of ingots of this metal every three months. The royalty find it easier just to pay this due and its ungodly interest rate; so the clan has a form of income forever, as long as somebody with sense doesn't just kill them. If the shipment arrives late, the clan will kill all but one of the wagoners anyway. Dicks.

Clan Religion & Beliefs
Instead of worshiping a single God or following the doctrine of a massive church, Clans worship numerous smaller Gods according to their myths and legends. Some clans are Pantheistic, and all things are divine, or worship spirits of nature, or worship individual Gods or families of Gods, or they worship living beings- especially if they are primitive or under the beings control.

Clans can also be very superstitious and find the natural magic of the world more at home to them. To live in harmony with the monsters, magic, anomolies, nature spirits, and powerful-god like beings they find out in the world they have to develop superstitions and special practices.

What special belief is followed in this clan? - 1d20
[1] This clan respects the symbolism of the eye. Depicted as either a single eye or three columns and rows of eyes. Eyes carved on trees, rocks, and items owned by this clan are under their watch, and their sages can peek through them to spy in their territory.

[2] Living God- Giant yellow slug that lives in a ravine. The slug is from a time before order; and as such elements mix into mists and slime in its presence; it is resistant to magic and has other powers too. Magic users of the clan can treat their counterspell abilities as though they were one level higher; breaking enemy magic into useless elemental slurry. The clan must sacrifice a person, preferably a young boy, to the slug once every few decades to keep it sated. They prefer to capture the boy from another clan or grab an orphan and adorn him with pearls and give him nothing but good days before throwing him down, but will use one of their own children to avoid the wrath of the ancestral slug.

[3] It is said if you get lost in the bog, you will be cursed to wander it eternally. Very old warriors and men from the clan may venture into the bog to avoid death from old age; they would rather die after many years of wandering to a monster then from natural causes.

[4] The warriors of this clan brand themselves with black ash tattoos along with upper arms and legs. It is said to grant strength and virility.

[5] The purest stream in their clan grounds is forbidden to all members. Nobody can drink from it; instead a single golden cup is used to carry some of the pure stream water to sprinkle on their crops each year during the summer, and because of this their crops grow tall and strong and they have not known famine for a long time. Drinking from the stream or stealing the chalice would break their magic, and cause much suffering and chaos.

[6] This clan's leadership only makes decisions with the clan elder's advice and blessings in mind. Whenever they need guidance, they visit the burial sites of their ancestors and sleep on the graves. This is not seen as disrespectful, and in fact the ancestors memories and visions of the future seep up into the dreams of the living. While cryptic, these supernatural visions can help lead the clan.

[7] The blood, sweat, and tears of this clan have seeped into the soil, plants, and animals of their clan territory. The land itself seems “aware” and aligned with the clan in some ways; invaders find thorny bushes growing in their path, the wild animals fight with ferocity towards them whilst being docile towards clan members, and secret caves and hiding places seem to open only for the clan in their hours of need, revealing their hidden treasures.

[8] Whenever the clan members replace old limbs or body parts with new ones; either simple prosthetic like peg legs or hand hooks, or if regrown by magic or some advanced fantasy technology; the clan is always suspicious of these new body parts as being life draining to the host. They tie ribbons around these body parts and paint them sacred colors to protect the wearer. This even applies to mobility tools like crutches and walking canes, as well as eye patches.

[9] Every child paints their right foot and places it against the soft floor stones of the clan house's grand hall. The stone slab floor is covered in little feet prints, with the older generations so faded away as to be replaced by the march of the younger feet.

[10] The youthful young women of the clan, waiting to be wed, sneak into bear caves in the winter to braid their fur. This is extremely dangerous, but is said to give the women the strength of the mother bear and make the bears more docile in spring and summer. This is true, and the clan warriors have been known to live among the bears, or even ride them into battle in the old days.

[11] There are rare blue birds that live in these clan grounds. Anyone who kills one is to be killed by the clans warriors, no exceptions, as they are sacred and peaceful birds. Outsiders who kill the birds on purpose or on accident are also killed by the clan's warriors. Feathers taken from these birds abandoned nests and used to make arrows let the arrows fly true.

[12] The monsters that live nearby this clan are placated once a year by a sacrifice. The clan members bring out food, some treasures, crafts, and place it on an altar with red candles. Because of this sacrifice, the clan is not harassed by the monsters, but this protection ends the moment you try to sneak into their lair.

[13] Every warrior is supposed to make their own first weapon; usually a knife or short cudgel made of iron. While rough and low quality, these weapons are said to be especially trusty and can come in handy right when the warrior needs them most.

[14] This clan has erected standing stones, circling them during different parts of a person's life is traditional. Their magic grants protection to the clan's homes and horses, and the tallest stone is actually carved into the shape of a horse's head.

[15] The clan follows the movement of the stars and astral bodies religiously. Every thing is planned from the movement of the stars; insults and wars with other clans are set on a schedule by the star charts, marriages, times to reap and sow, celebrations, and so on. While restrictive, the clan are the masters of the most accurate calendar of all the clans and know the secrets of navigation by the stars; they could cross the ocean as long as they had a ship capable of the journey.

[16] There is a huge black stone, half buried at the foot of a mountain. The clan has it covered with a quilt and believes it is a gateway between worlds. Spells involving summoning or calling beings, either dead or unnatural, count as one level higher if cast with this stone. The clan protects the stone and uses tales of curses and horrible diseases given off by the stone to keep outsiders away.

[17] Freshly born infants have a small “belt” of beads tied around their waist in their cribs. The number of beads varies in both size and color, but it's always at least 60 or more. This is supposed to ward away vampires from sucking on the infant's blood, as they will be too busy counting the beads to drain the life of the infant away before morning comes. Clerics who wear these beads get +1 to turn undead rolls vs vampires and other bloodsucking undead.

[18] Dogs in this clan are forced to bow their heads to their masters before being fed any kind of meat or table scraps of meat; lest the dog think themselves above their station. This clan states that the dire wolves that kill travelers in their territory were once loyal lapdogs corrupted by pride and arrogance.

[19] Anything as technologically advanced as a crossbow is considered bad luck by this clan, and they refuse to sell or work on these devices, and prefer if people keep them away. They attract gremlins; little creatures that create bad luck and misfortune, and they seem to be drawn to technology. Magic and knowledge doesn't have this same stigma.

[20] This clan worships an unusual, somewhat malevolent God. They are a hard people, and in secret the offerings and worship they grant to the God are all based to keep the God slumbering, at peace, and in the false belief that the world worships it. This way, they can restrain its evil only to their own people, and this noble secret makes them most righteous among all the clans.

Culture of Gifts
To these people, honor and glory are more important then physical gain. The hard work of one mans life could easily be taken by fire or an unruly heir, and with monsters and the lack of central organization to fight them means that heroes must step forward to slay them instead. As such, hoarding of physical wealth or possessions is considered bad, where as giving and spending is considered good.

This is further pushed home by the spent gold for XP system; players hoarding wealth gain no benefit from it, they must spend in order to get experience. You could also say only money spent at the end of a session counts, and all money hoarded up is just useful for purchasing but grants for no XP- you have to spend it as soon as possible. To make this more extreme, award bonus XP for money spent on frivolous things, OR to fit it into the Iron Age mindset more, grant bonus XP for gold and treasure gifted to other clans and their leaders.

What treasure does this clan have / what gift did you receive? - 1d20
[1] Collection of 74 silver eggs. Each has a sliding mechanism, which opens the egg with the right combination of twists. Every egg has a lead ball inside, which you can hear by rattling the egg. One egg hides a golden “yolk” that is a small ball made of solid gold instead.

[2] Blowing horn. When blown, creates a tremendous noise that inspires courage in allies, granting +1 morale. The horn is enchanted by a warrior's magic, and cannot be used by meager magic users.

[3] The channeling stick. If used outside and swung over the head in great circles, this stick draws in all magical energies for many miles away to your position; mostly drawn from the land, but sometimes drawn from the people as well, such as nearby magic users losing a spell slot for a day. The magic is gathered to the place where the user dictates and is nearby; such as down a well or around their home in a spell of protection. It can only be used once in a generation- which means the stick can only be swung if the last person to swing the stick is now very old and a new generation has taken over.

[4] The shell of a tortoise, the rim of each hole has been painted with gold and the shell has been carved and slotted with rubies of all shapes and sizes.

[5] Ice box. The inside is infused with magical ice that is very hard to melt through traditional heat. Can store food over longer periods then normal; only large enough to hold a few days worth of foodstuffs though; it's the thought that counts.

[6] The femur of a giant, it's life story engraved on every curve. The engraving features a small humanoid figure bearing a banner with the clan's symbol on it at one point in the story with the clan claiming that's how their great ancestor knew this giant, but some have accused them of adding that engraving once they found the femur as a bad fanfiction.

[7] Red wig of charm and fortitude. Woven from red wooly mammoth hair, fits pretty well, grants a bonus of +1 to Constitution AND Charisma, while worn, as long as it is pristine and properly kept dry and safe in its box while you sleep. You have to be bald to use it.

[8] Frog sculpted from a piece of pure copper, with emeralds for eyes. Several quartz crystals of only moderate value make up the warts on its back.

[9] Well crafted axe with runes along the stained wood handle. The blade is painted with red and orange stripes, and is so sharp as to count as magic until dinged or dulled.

[10] Ugly little pink primordial fish in a clay pot. It can live in salt or fresh water, only needs to eat a tiny amount of scum, and simply needs new clean water every few weeks to stay alive. The fish can be kept as a pet, and seems to live forever, but can also be cooked and salted to make a delicious dish fit for a chieftain.

[11] Three old monster bones, rubbed and polished. Look like oblong river stones, three dark black lines horizontal on each.

[12] Lantern, made of Pale. It's light radius can act as a holy symbol.

[13] Four differently colored dragon scales, glued together and arranged in a pyramid shape. The empty space between them practically glow when they hit the light just right.

[14] Small spinning-star weapon made of carved bone, fused with four dinosaur talons as the spikes. Actually effective, returns after being thrown, minor magic weapon.

[15] Well carved wooden cylinder with a lid and carrying strap. Within are hundreds of sticks, wrapped up in paper, used for incense and the making of different colors and kinds of smoke. Many of them have soothing or regenerative properties, warding away disease, and one is even said to grant wishes, as long as the wish is humble enough for the smoke's liking.

[16] Flat bits of silver, each one inscribed with a prayer to a local God. Each has a hole in the end, and they are tied together by a yellow lanyard.

[17] Suit of armor. Small packs of dirt are stuffed in compartments along the shoulders, chest and back, real grass grows out of the armor giving excellent camouflage and a closeness to nature.

[18] Magic horse. White coat with a natural yellow stripe down its neck to its flank, long black mane and tail. Random gender. This horse doesn't get tired as long as it is being ridden, and can go for days without exhaustion, but the horse offloads some of the strain of being ridden on its rider. If ridden for more then 5 days straight, the rider will find themselves unable to walk for each day over the 5 days they rode the horse without a break.
The horse's name is (1d4) Donvan – Beltfast – Yimmer – Tusslemane

[19] Magic knots along a red string, there are 14 of them. The knots can only be unwoven by a debt repaid, and as such this string and its magic knots are essentially a kind of currency.

[20] Cured leather helmet, made of a hammerhead shark. Is magic, +1 AC, immune to many spells that would try to destroy it, grants +1 initiative, headbutt instantly breaks apart all skeletal creatures of 3 HD or less. The piece of headgear is coveted among many clans, and thieves are sure to come if you reveal you own it.

Monday, October 15, 2018

4 Elementally Challenged Undead

Dry-Vine Skeleton (1+2 HD, +2 AC, 1d6+1 rusted sword, vine entangles on hit, immune to arrows, takes only 1 damage from spears, weak to fire)
Numbers- 2d6+2 in places overgrown by nature, 1d6 everywhere else

The Dry-Vine skeletons are animated by necromantic energies and magic, but are primarily animated by the dead and dried out vines entangled through their bones. This gives them more structure and speed then normal skeletal undead, as well as advanced strength. Also, whenever they successful hit a target, the target must save or be entangled in vines, which take a round to cut themselves out of or they cannot move or attack for the next turn.

As with all skeletons, they are not hurt by arrows or spears, as they have no organs or flesh to stab. Blunt weapons are required to effectively fight skeletons. Unlike normal skeletons though, the vines help hold these ones together, meaning a simple bash on the head with a club usually isn't enough to scatter their bones across the crypt.

However; these skeletons are weak to fire. Any fire damage at all ignites their vines, dealing 1d6 fire damage against them each round; once their vines are burned away the skeletons fall apart from losing all structure. The Dry-Vine skeletons naturally fear fire, as much as an undead can fear anything, and a confident priest can use a torch or lit candle as a substitute for a holy symbol.

Dust Wraith (2 HD, +4 to hit, 1d4 damage touch, save or level drain, Ethereal, blown away by wind)
Numbers- 1 or 2 in a closed dusted casket, 1d6+1 everywhere else

Dust Wraiths appear as ghostly wraiths animated as clouds of dust. The dust that make up their bodies are the dust from old human graves and the dust of crypts; as such their features are vague as they are probably reanimated from the dust of several dead humans and animals, lacking any sort of personality or resemblance to their living past self.

The Wraiths can float and touch people to deal damage; the life draining energy can cause characters to have their levels drained. Whenever you are hit by a wraith, take the 1d4 damage roll and drain a level if you fail a save. The save is either unmodified or modified by save vs death.

As they are made of dust; treat their AC is 20 vs nonmagic weapons, giving a very low chance to harm them without magical weapons or spells. The dust that makes up their bodies can be easily blown away by the wind or flow of air; as such the dust wraiths only appear in the deepest levels of a catacomb and fear the open spaces of the surface. If you use something like a palm fronds, billows, or hand fan you deal 1d6 damage against them each round if you try to blow them away. Spells that create winds or blast of air kill them instantly, their dust scattered back to the floor of the tomb.

Lotion Zombie (3 HD, +4 AC, 1d6 flabby slaps, easy to smell, sliding motion, water weakness)
Numbers- 1d8 in a loft, 1d3 everywhere else

Loton Zombies appear as regular, bloated zombies with extremely smooth skin. Their whole skin has a pale white thin cream or lard spread across it, which gives them an unusual and distinct smell; doesn't smell like rotting flesh, so it makes them easy to pick out in a crypt. This makes getting surprised by them impossible, along with their wet slapping feet and constant blubbering groans.

Because of both their fat, smooth skin, and unusually powerful method of animation, lotion zombies are very hard to kill. Many attacks may just slide right off their skin from how slippery their lard is. In the same vein, the lotion zombies can slide across the ground, especially smooth tile, very easily. If at a full run and stopped by a warrior's shield or spear, the zombie might just be able to slip underneath to attack the backline. They can build to great speeds if marching downhill, and will deal 1d4 damage plus bowl anyone over who stands in their way.

Lotion Zombies have a weakness; water. Any amount of water splashed on their skin washes away the lotion, and unanimates that area of their body. If their hand is dipped or splashed with water, then it falls limp and instantly begins to rot, losing its power. A bucket full of water deals 2d6 damage to the zombie, and being submerged in water or being put out in the rain will end their animation. Because only very fresh bodies can be animated by the magic cream, once a zombie is washed off it can't be used again as a lotion zombie.

Clay Mask Mummy (1 HD, +2 AC, +2 to hit, 1d8 old weapons, magic shield blocks 1d8 magic damage each round, cunning, fragile)
Numbers- 1d4 in sealed tomb, 1 anywhere else

Clay Mask mummies are specially preserved undead, retaining almost all of their intelligence and skill after death through special preservation methods. However, their entire body is covered by a clay covering to preserve their flesh, especially their face, and they have become so brittle as any physical damage could kill them. Despite being quite powerful, they only use a single hit die for HP, and physical attacks that normally wouldn't do much damage, such an unarmed punch or an improvised weapon, do a minimum of 1d6 damage again them. Any weapon that deals less then 1d4 damage, like a sling or dagger, does 1d6 damage against them as well.

The Clay Mask mummies sit in sealed rooms to avoid all potential damage from animals or other undead; as well as to meditate on the nature of their powers. Clay Mask mummies also carry a magic hide shield that grants them +1 AC and absorbs the first 1d8 magic damage they take each round. This is rolled when the first spell or attack that hits them deals magic damage, and lets them absorb that much of it and all further attacks.

While very fragile, they are also very cunning and prefer to use the dungeon environment or ranged weapons to fight. Some may also carry around a magic scroll that can rot flesh or drain levels, and use that before leading intruders into larger hoards of lesser undead.

Friday, October 12, 2018

50 Terrible Knowledges

[1] Perfectly formed in your mind is the schematics and practical construction of a specific device. The device is a large table where you strap down a member of a mortal race; your mind also easily envisions how to adjust the machine for each race common in the setting, and the machine will sever all their limbs, scoop out much of their insides, and insert inside them a series of pipes and tubes along with hollow mechanical arms to allow liquid to flow through and control their every action and motion.

You have no knowledge of what specific liquid allows for the total body control or suspends the life of the being so they do not die from the machine, nor do you know what other liquids may do if added, unless you experimented to find out. Your morality has not changed, but this design is clear.

[2] You now know that every single insect in the world was born after being given a strict set of instructions by someone. Every one of them has a specific destiny and knows exactly when they will be born, eat, mate, and die unless disrupted by a thinking being. Despite not having the intelligence or personality to use this knowledge. You don't know who or what does this, and you don't know what purpose it could possibly serve.

[3] Roll a random elder god. They owe you a very minor favor, equivalent to a spell. Once you collect this favor, you then owe it a very, very large favor, equivalent to a life taken. Due to the nature of these things, you cannot simply refuse their favor to cancel out your end of it.

[4] You know the specific number, relative heights, and angle and position of metal cymbals to place outside of someone's window when it rains. If they sleep through the noise, or can hear it for more then 3 hours, it drives them totally fucking insane, permanently. Saving throw can be made at the start of each hour if the character is aware of the cymbal's power.

[5] There is a specific combination of clothes, accessories, makeup, and body language you could employ to seduce a holy virgin archpriest or priestess with little effort. Their religious rites and magic powers depend on their virginity, and many people would lose faith if you took it. This power doesn't confer any Charisma bonus, nor does it work on anyone else, just this holy and respected person- the knowledge lays bare in your mind.

[6] By aligning a few hundred stones in the woods in the proper way, and painting the trunks of some of the trees blue, you know how to call a Childeater to inhabit that place.

Childeater (4 HD, +4 to hit, -1 AC, 2 attacks at 1d8 suction cups, senses kids)
Morale- 8 vs adults
Numbers- One

Gaunt pale beast with blue skin; has two tentacle arms with suction cups arms with membranes that stretch at the end that capture and digest things trapped within. Makes no sound.

[7] You know the exact location of the ruined Church of Blue Flame. Everything it burned was to create holy ash- but was turned over by a cruel, heretical lord when the Church refused to pay his fees. Once a sanctuary, now its crumbling basement holds the souls of those suffocated and buried alive in piles of ash. You also know why the trapped spirits within cannot harm you alone.

[8] You learn a horrendous torture you can perform on young horses. Once complete, one of the horse's severed hooves will become painted with gold, and scrapping off the paint will earn you a few gold. The torture method is so bad that the horse suffers enough to make it into a ghost that haunts its stable, despite just being an animal.

[9] You can carve a strange sluice for water in solid stone along with a wheel made of specific materials to create a machine that endless empties and fills its own fountain. The unlimited energy machine corrupts the water and land around it; animals grow fat and starved at the same time, and the water itself turns crops it waters into little black eggs for various horrible pests.

[10] You see something that makes your heart stop beating. You are still alive, but will never “detect” as a living thing ever again; becoming invisible to some spells and creatures.

[11] You learn a secret word. This word can be used as a substitute for secret magic words that activate magic items, or as passwords for magic locks, this word allowing you to bypass them as though you knew the actual passcode. However, you also know every time you speak this secret word out loud, an innocent person you will never meet spontaneously combusts and burns to death in front of their loved ones.

[12] By wrapping them up in a series of blankets folded in a special order, you know how to make a pregnant cat give birth to a single two headed kitten with gigantism. You are 90% certain that this same technique could work on a human.

[13] You know who writes all the plays, and you know how much suffering is caused by giving them even a single copper coin.

[14] You can identify any normal mushroom by sight and smell, and heal 1 HP if you eat and find the rarest and most deadliest mushrooms; their poison has no effect on you. Spores of mushroom based creatures also don't effect you either. If your skull is split open after you die; people will find mold-like spots growing on your brain.

[15] You fear something deep below. Merciful sleep washes over you every time you are submerged in cold water. You float instead of sinking and cannot be harmed or drown in this state. Once you return to dry land you wake up.

[16] You have a compulsion to collect and gather some seemingly worthless trinkets. You have little control over this, and must make a save to avoid stabbing someone who tries to take them from you or keep you away from them. The next solar eclipse; you can gather the trinkets to create a beam that brings down a star being, which blesses you and heals all injuries and suffering to those who receive her gentle touch.

[17] You know what happens when you die, and because of it, you desperately seek immortality. +2 against all death saving throws and you live an extra 10 years of natural life span, clinging on.

[18] By aligning silver coins on strings and forcing someone in a chair to watch them for a day, you can force the most sociopathic, empathy-lacking person to suddenly grow a conscious. They will have to decompress and remember, feel, and regret every single bad thing they've done without caring and will be unable to do anything else for a time.

[19] The God of War is an imposter. He killed the last god of war in his sleep. You know what mountain range the old god is buried; you don't know what would happen if you tried to find him, or wake him back up.

[20] Pistons made of brass and tin can be used to hammer impurities out of gems; the impurity being that the gemstones are really eggs for some long, long dead race of beings. Each one is a little different, has a little spell tied into their very being, and a little maniacal.

[21] As long as you can fit your hands around it; you can grip the body of any snake or serpent and using a special grip and motion in your hands, cleanly push out the organs and flesh while keeping the skin, eyes, and fangs lifelessly in your hands. The fleshy lump pushed out is the snake, which suffers immense pain and dies, blinded and defanged, within a few minutes. Intelligent and monstrous snakes seem to hate you most of all, even if they don't know this ability, and an intelligent snake or a snake of 3 HD or higher gets a saving throw to avoid your hands of death.

[22] You know how to extract the gland in a nursing woman's brain that forges a lifelong connection between her and child. This process is fatal the mother. If injected into any creature, they could imprint on whoever you wish; feeling protective instincts of them as though they were their own child.

[23] You know how to stalk and kill a tiger while it sleeps. If you do this, you must wear its skin and act out three days in its life. You receive +1 to your stealth rolls for the rest of your life when you wear that tiger skin, as long as you do not kill anything else and prove to the tiger skin that you are not a born killer like it thought.

[24] Whenever you are crawling in a small, enclosed space or tunnel, you have a 1 in 6 chance to sense anything that is crawling towards you, if it knows of you or not. Whenever you sleep in a cage or jail cell, a rat crawls out of your mouth and runs outside; tries to get eaten by a falcon.

[25] To you, the relationship between animals and their types is much, much different then to normal people. If you were to perform a surgery on an animal, feed it, train it, or butcher you can do techniques that would work on its “actual” ancestors that defy logic but function. Horses are actually closely related to wolves, and can be trained to sic people and feel no fear, for example. Doing this causes the animals you interact with to shift into unnatural forms between these unusual genetic cousins.

[26] There are eight stars in the sky that you refuse to name, and all constellations and navigational methods that use those stars are totally off limits. Once per adventure, you can point up to the night sky and cause panic in mortals like Turn Undead. Every time you do this, one of these stars winks out, like a weight is lifted.

[27] By presenting a bloody femur that was extracted from a body that died less then an hour ago; you can use it as a holy symbol and get +1 to turn undead rolls. The undead shirk and whimper from it, as though reminding them of an even lesser existence.

[28] If you are starving to death, you can “bake” dust into little pies and stave off death. This does not you from taking penalties and damage to your stats due to the starvation, simply keeps you alive on a bitter, awful diet.

[29] Whenever a creature is summoned near you, you always smirk because you know that the spell caster is never the one that decides what gets sent, even if they choose when they cast the spell. You get +2 damage against summoned beings with all attacks, spells, and other effects.

[30] You know the name and how to show respect to the mother of grubs. If you incant her name on an altar and cut off one of your fingers, she'll grant you a magic grub that can halt any poison or disease for an entire day. Does not cure.

[31] You know a method to remove tattoos from skin. It requires straining and digging in soil and loam and permanently makes that land infertile and barren. The area of land required to remove a tattoo is 10,000x the surface area of skin.

[32] You become extremely adept at creating furniture, clothing, utensils, and other items out of the body parts of members of your own race.

[33] You know the truth about the importance of skin coverings, and how to changes how other beings view the mortal races. You wouldn't be caught dead unless at least 90% of your outfit is made of leather from harmless species and especially pathetic, gormless individual creatures. You get +1 AC as long as you wear no other armor then this outfit.

[34] No matter what you eat or how sick you become, you will only ever vomit once again in your entire life. You can do so at will; and the resulting red bile will deal 2d6+ Con modifier acidic damage to anyone or anything.

[35] You now know what terrible beast causes all men and beasts to sleep, and how much it enriches that beast. It is hard for you to sleep, but nobody can ever sneak up to you and kill you in your sleep, nor are you effected by the Sleep spell.

[36] You gained supernatural skills of mediation and consoling. You can start a willing, desperate person with no one else to turn to on the Sixth Steps of Hope; and once begun on the path, one stage will be completed within each year or faster until all Sixth stages are complete. The path cannot be stopped, and the person will require your guidance or will advance at the slowest rate.

The 1st step grants religious piety and devotion, suspending curses and divine punishments sent against that person. The 2nd step teaches dedication, allowing the person to gain either +10% XP or gain another HD after finishing some training, or whichever is more fitting. The 3rd step teaches love and lust, which grants the person +1 to their Charisma modifier. The 4th step removes vanity and physical greed, allowing the person to gain XP for donation/willing give up their treasure or wealth for charity. The 5th step teaches hope for the future, and grants +1 to all saving throws and to hit modifiers for attacks. Finally, the 6th step of reunion comes and goes in a day; where the person lays down, refuses to move, blesses everyone they see, and dies when night falls.

[37] By carving and polishing two black stones, you can use bread dough and rare mineral oils to form a lump. When the eyes are inserted, the lump becomes a creature that looks like a child of whatever species the dough was shaped as. If a human child is created, most people will feel the same need to protect it, or if its an animal child then most animals of its type will want to protect and kill it depending on their nature. Regardless of its type, it smells delicious to monsters and outsider beings. After it takes 1 hit point of damage or after 1 day, the dough turns back into useless mush and the eyes dissolve into black smoke.

[38] You know just where and how deep to cut to perform ritual bloodletting. Each cut deals 1d4 hit point damage but restores 1 point of a damaged attribute. If anyone else tries to copy your technique they will deal 1d6+1 damage to the patient instead with no benefit.

[39] You know a confounding riddle that could stump always anyone; though you don't know the answer. Telling this to someone who craves riddles and games will stump them, unless they are very old or very powerful. If anyone ever tells you the answer, you die.

[40] There's a passenger inside your head. They watch everything you do, and feel everything you feel, but can't speak in any way you can understand. After 1d4 years, the passenger will return to the other realm with its findings, but deposit in your mind some chilling logical observations and simple truths that would terrify most normal people. You gain Intelligence equal to the years the passenger watched you, permanently.

[41] If you deal at least 6 damage to an enemy on a single attack, you can store a single drop of their blood in a vial. Over a year it turns into a deep red crystal, which you can use to conjure glowing lights underneath your skin by crushing the gem with your thumb. The lights either grant effects like the Light spell, or force a morale check against animals and beings closely aligned with the forces of Nature or Neutrality.

[42] You have knowledge of a mechanical schematic made of metal strong enough to bear the strain with springs and straps. When placed on the back of an animal; it snaps the animal's body into an upright, standing position and lets them walk like a man. After a few days of awkwardness, the animal can move similar to a man, and gains more dexterity in their paws/claws/arms to be similar to a servant that cannot speak. Other animals are fearful of and cry out in pain when they see a strapped animal. If you could find metal strong enough, there is no limit to how large an animal you could strap. Dogs and horses are best for this, since you can train them easily and repress most of their destructive instincts.

[43] By strengthening your neck muscles and controlling your breathing; you can put yourself in a state of false death when you are strangled to death or your neck is broken from being hung. You can be awoken in a few days and are helpless until someone wakes you up. Make sure to have friends to dig you up after you're buried, since everyone will sense you as being dead.

[44] You know when the sweetness in the air is really rotting flesh, and can smell any corpse up to half a mile away as long as it's in the stage of decomposition where it starts to smell.

[45] You've learned math; techniques to crunch numbers, carry the one, and move money around. You can get +10% money on loans or taxes you take out, but each year you do this there is a 1 in 6 chance one person you collect from finds out you're messing with the numbers and starts an angry mob to try and kill you. Even if you tried to teach this to somebody else, they just can't get the numbers to work the way you can.

[46] You can create a powerful, tasteless, colorless poison using rare materials and by giving up one level to infuse the brew with magic. Anyone who drinks the elixir, even if mixed with something else, will slowly have their bones becoming weaker until they can't move without snapping their own limbs and ribs. They die within 1d6+2 dies without help.

[47] You know the health benefits and secret methods to cut open people that match your race, gender, and general size and shape and steal their pancreas from them. Stealing them, storing them in jars, and later surgically implanting them into yourself will greatly improve your lifespan and health. Each time you do this, you can reroll all of your HD and take it as your new hit point total if its higher then your old one. If you take at least 4 pancreases into yourself, you can speed up your body once a day and perform two actions or attacks in one round. You cannot cast two spells in a round, as your tongue gets all twisted up trying to speak spells that fast.

[48] You can throw objects at a strange angle that increases the distance far beyond what is sensible to your species or level of strength and agility. The object “catches the air” and just hangs at a certain altitude, not falling until much further along then it normally could. This applies to ranged weapon projectiles and throwing weapons as well.

The thrown projectiles make a high pitched squealing noise as they move through the air, and anyone who is a cannibal or human eating monsters hear wonderful music instead of a whistle.

[49] You can take a step behind a shadowy corner, ask everyone to turn around, or throw up a cloud of smoke and suddenly disappear. You can then reappear where someone can see you, stepping out from behind a new corner or from a shadowy place. You can even reappear in places you couldn't normal reach; such as reappearing on the other end of a small chasm.

Every time you use this power, you appear 1d8 years older or lose 1d4 Dexterity permanently, whichever is worse.

[50] You've learned how to see. Truly see. Whenever attacked by or accosted by an invisible creature, spell, object, or trap you get a saving throw to see it. Whenever you encounter a creature with a gaze attack, you get no penalty to attacking it without looking at it directly; there are plenty of clues. But 1 in every 20 people you see has a thing growing on them, curled around them. You know they're corrupted inside and can't be trusted, but you don't know how to fix them.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

6 Bullshit Fantasy "Technologies"

[1] Ice Crystal Array
Built into the snow-fortress and frozen snow walls; complex arrays of permafrost ice crystals arranged to allow their resonance to manipulate pure ice and snow. Pulling or rotating the crystals, or inserting them into empty slots, controls temperature in the room and even weather outside by manipulating the carefully aligned system of ice and cold. Even a weak hit with a blunt weapon or if a character wearing metal armor is shoved into it the crystals shatter and the entire contraption fails spectacularly as shards of crystal and frozen water fall from the ceiling.

[2] Bubble Channelers
Giant coral domes with weird 'pipes' and mounds built into it in the ocean. Channel water currents and create oxygen bubbles in little circular chambers that can help humans breathe underwater, if desired. Blowing on the pipes can channel bubbles and air in great currents; bubbles blasts that can act as defensive platforms that can capsize ships or knock away Merdragons.

[3] Ligament Mecha
By chewing up and spitting out ligaments and tendons from their victims; cannibal apes and spit and stick them into “joints” of wooden and stone war machines. These joints are kept moist by sacrifices of blood from forest creatures and human victims; and kept fed by the same blood. They are stroked with different reeds and brushes to give them a sense of touch, and are then led by the apes who ride around on the sloppily animated war golems; needing constant blood as their fuel.

[4] Dwarven Glasswork
Create invisible walkways and bridges across long chasms as an extra line of defense against invaders, as well as invisible spikes in pits. They're not actually invisible, they are just glass that has been cut in such a way that you can only see the cut lines and edges of the piece from a single, very specific angle. Usually, this is marked by a dwarf ancestor or God's statue; line up your eyes level to his and at just the right angle you will see the craftsmenship of the dwarves.

[5] Asuerian Balance
Ancient civilization named Asuer. With great religion based on men balancing on poles for their whole lives and gods of balance and harmony to create a strong society. Principles incorperated into their work and architecture; found methods to perfectly balance even huge objects, slowly remove the base until they float in the air with nothing supporting them. The object will regain gravity and crash into the ground if another force hits it that would move it or nudge it normally; jumping on a floating platform while wearing too heavy armor, for example. Most are made of thick stone so would need a strong force to knock them down. Have even tougher structures that are supported and can't be knocked down nearly as easily; entire castles suspended over a chasm on a single reed.

[6] Replaying Pots
Pots that were spun with small fibers with religious chants and magic spells spoken; the vibrations of the voices and sounds were then trapped within the pot's grooves, and can be released by spinning the pot with a needle and amplifying the sound through a funnel, conch shell, horse skull, etc. Spells played back have some amount of magic; you could both learn a spell and might also accidentally be cast on the spinning wheel, releasing magical energies into the present day. You could also use a pot with a hidden groove to store and hide a hidden message.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Garden Car Chase Rules + Hotrod Generator

Car Chase Rules
Both cars roll a 1d6. The car with the better roll advances that many units ahead. Either car can choose to roll again and take the higher of the rolls, but on a doubles they take a minor complication or damage from the evasive maneuver, and take a chip. If you get 3 chips, your car crashes. This distance between the values of the cars is the negative modifier for shooting rolls; the farther you are the harder it is to shoot the enemy. If you see something like a ramp, closed back alley, or huge tanker truck you can try to slide under it and perform a stunt. This lets you roll a third 1d6 and take the highest of all three dice+1, but if you get 3 matches at once you instantly crash.

Some cars get different sized dice. Most average hovercars are 1d6, but a shitty food truck or cobbled together cheap junker has a 1d4. Muscle cars get 1d8, and are used by gangs specifically to beat other cars and have an advantage on the road. Really advanced, luxury sports cars might get 1d10, but the cost for basic repairs, even for scratches, is triple the normal cost.

Garden Hotrod Generator
Every car in Garden is hand crafted out of old parts and powered by the electric grid. They always float a little bit even when they are parked, unless if their battery is fulled drained. Car shops have special ports to lock them in place to perform maintenance on the potentially dangerous antigravity engines. Areas between the city bureaus and in the wilderness won't have as many power stations for refilling. Power is free; you just need an outlet or throw some coils over a nearby power line. (Don't do this).

To generate a Hotrod, roll once per category.

Visible Electric Engine Block – 1d8
[1] Tesla coil. Sparks everywhere when the car revs to max speed.
[2] Capsule shaped lava lamp, agitates as car revs up. Breaking it sprays horrible molten shit.
[3] Industrial Capacitor.
[4] Jars of bright blue glowing goop. Unusual material used as a battery/power source.
[5] Plasma Lamp. Colors change. If shot, explodes as a small bomb.
[6] Screen of tiny light bulbs. Light up as an arrow; gets brighter as the car accelerates.
[7] Massive cluster of wires and cables.
[8] Huge solonoid in the shape of a big electric eel, curled like a viper poised to strike.

General Shape – 1d8
[1] Boxy, well fitted together, clearly scrapped from larger, non-vehicle scrapmetal shell.
[2] Smooth, aerodynamic. Chassis clearly comes from a remodeled off-world vehicle.
[3] Steel cage structure. Metal plates act as shields along the sides. Scrapyard built.
[4] Totally seamless egg-shaped vessel. Still has windows, curves flush with surface. Advanced.
[5] Flat bottom with “dome” shaped compartment on top. Easy to get in and out of.
[6] Hovers low to the ground, convertible. Kind of tacky.
[7] Large internal space; cabin bloats over the antigrav engines like a muffin top. Family sedan.
[8] Truck. If truck bed is detached, the front end could hover just on its forward floaters.

Interior – 1d8
[1] Half filled with water/some liquid. Comfortable for an aquatic/amphibious species that uses it.
[2] Everything is covered in a thick layer of luxurious fur.
[3] Almost everything has been ripped out to reduce weight and increase speed. Plastic chairs.
[4] Locking compartments across every wall; filled with tools, snacks, ammo, etc. Not labeled.
[5] Backseat is converted into a shrine for some alien deity, or to the sun itself.
[6] Big ass turret (2d10) takes up most of the internal space; can pivot to shoot out any window.
[7] No steering wheel; front seat is centered and uses various levers and joysticks to drive.
[8] Weird sliding spring-locks to create seats and space as needed. If you get in a crash, somebody is for sure getting impaled or trapped in the deadly tangled metal.

Extra Modification – 1d8
[1] Has a single wheel that can be lowered if engines get weak, but won't support it alone.
[2] Steel carrying cage on the back; holds equipment or captured people.
[3] Ramps. Handicap accessible.
[4] Door open upwards; make metallic hiss and fog comes out when you open them.
[5] Sides and back can extend to make very small mobile home.
[6] Gunroof. Like a sun-roof, but everyone uses it to shoot at people so its called a gunroof.
[7] Spikes and blades along the front and sides for vehicle combat.
[8] One of those stupid fucking testicle hitches. But it's for an alien species so the organ is just indescribably weird and you'd never guess by looking at it.

Hood Ornament – 1d8
[1] Snowglobe, depicts some tiny town from some alien world nobody ever heard of. Nostalgic.
[2] Tin pistol, angled up and forward. No internal parts.
[3] Spiraled horn, like a unicorn.
[4] Just a little pedestal. The actual ornament got torn off a long time ago.
[5] Fake glass gem; huge and red.
[6] Another light, turns on with headlights. Practical.
[7] Alien creature. Tastefully nude.
[8] Handcrank. Must be turned constantly to let the car hover 1 inch off the ground. Just helpful enough to get back to the charging station.