The Ladies of Higher Standing

Ladies of Higher Standing (2-5 HD, +3 to-hit, +AC equal to HD, +½ HD as bonus to spell saving throws, +1 damage, Gilded Improvised Weapons at 1d8+2, social skills)

The Ladies are assassins. They are hired in the employ of emperors, as guards of merchant lords and the killers for the richest men and dragons in the lands. While they blend in and pretend to be servants, maids, or concubines make no mistake as they are both powerful and very driven to kill anyone on their list, and even those who just get in their way.

The Ladies are both very fast and well trained combatants, using grace and speed to avoid blows and even spells. Their most iconic ability however is the power to Gild. Gilding requires them to touch any basic or simple object, and regardless of what it is it becomes Gilded. Golden paint appears upon it, with fine silks replacing all cloth or plant-fiber material, fresh new designs are embossed, and carvings and etchings become both more intricate and gain studded gemstones and silver nuggets. Simply put, Gilding an object makes it an expensive and luxurious item. In the hands of one of the Ladies, a gilded item also becomes a magical weapon that deals 1d8+2 damage.

The weapons that are gilded can be made of anything; a candlestick is shoved in an eyesocket, burning the man's brains. The cigar box is thrown open to reveal finely polished ninja stars. The chalice has a secret blade hidden inside, or even worse is swung around like a cudgel and somehow can snap necks and break skulls- Gilded weapons cease to be as powerful and deadly as soon as the Lady drops them. Also, each Lady of Higher Standing can create these items through their touch and they remain that way permanently. It seems the Ladies are either well trained or simply uninterested in exploiting this ability; only using it for their assassinations or in self defense when found out as a spy.

The Ladies originally hail from somewhere else- while young attractive orphan girls are often taken and adopted by the Ladies for training somewhere else, and many had lives before, the Ladies are nonetheless driven by an outside force. It is believed that the master of the Ladies is a supernatural entity living in another realm of existence entirely, siphoning its wealth and power to give the ladies their gilded weapons, knowing it can make a return on its investment in our realm a million fold.

20 Altered Classic Spells

[1] Super Delayed Fireball (Fireball)

Conjures a ball of flame. Unlike normal fireballs, this one travels towards the target at a snail's pace, a constant burning ball that seeks to destroy them. The ball does not stop under any circumstances, but avoids solid objects and can hover through the air to try and reach the target. Do to how slow it travels, the target can outrun the orb with a brisk walk, or may travel across long distances, to a separate land, to live the rest of their life while the orb slowly seeks them out. The orb can be destroyed in advance with a ice arrow or magic spells similar to breaking a curse, or if by chance a flying creature touches the orb and causes it to blow up.

If not; the orb will eventually find the target's grave and singe the gravestone in the last explosion, too late to put the target down themselves. Of course if the fireball reaches the target ahead of time, does normal damage.

[2] Agitate Person (Hold Person)

Hits a single person, which causes them to vibrate in place. The person cannot stop moving and must walk, jump, or perform repetitive actions to get the stimulation out of them. They cannot stand still and get a disadvantage to sneaking, but they doesn't necessarily have to move away from their position if they can walk in a circle or get it out of them through that motion. If for whatever reason the person cannot move and is totally locked in place, they take 1d4 damage from their internal organs and blood vibrating hard inside their body. If this kills them, they blow up messily.

[3] Affect Abnormal Fires (Affect Normal Fires)

This spell is mostly used to corral and fix the behavior of uppity fires and spirits of flame. Forces hellfire to produce light, tickling fires to burn people, stonefire to burn wood instead of rocks, and intelligent Fiendfyre to stop acting with malevolent intent. As a plus, this spell can be used to control the actions of intelligent fires as per a Command, Suggestion, or Geas spell. Creatures half made of fire, like fire elements and Genasi can also be cast upon, but get a saving throw and the spell has “half” effectiveness.

[4] Comprehend Gobbledygook (Comprehend Languages)

You can understand gibberish, mostly spoken by babies, mock elements, and other serendipitous and stupid creatures. You may also get a saving throw to understand the gibberings of the insane or those speaking in tongues during religious experiences. Gibberish isn't a very descriptive or useful language, instead mostly boiling down to expressions of emotion, safety, love, or desire for food or a physical object. The cast can also attempt to speak gobbledygook but may twist up their tongue on a 1 in 6 chance, requiring them to untwist it over the course of an hour so they can speak again (and cannot cast spells again until they can speak.)

[5] Beetle Plummet (Spider Climb)

You can crawl up a wall as a giant insect can, but are fat and clumsy. After 1d6 rounds, you will fall from the wall and will only take 1 damage. While climbing you count as having at least 16 AC due to your implied heavy beetle shell. If you fall on someone, you deal 1d6 damage + 1 per unit or point of encumbrance over your "unencumbered" value.

[6] Hindquarter Shield (Shield)

Upon casting this spell, the magic user gains a magical shield behind them. The shield protects their rear end from attacks and back stabs, adding bonus AC as per the regular Shield spell rules. If an enemy throws a an explosive bomb or pot of acid and misses you by one, it will hit the rear end of the shield and bounce back to hit you anyway.

[7] “Heat” Metal (Heat Metal)

Upon casting this spell, a metal item the caster can see becomes criminally charged. The item is infused with the energies of criminality and chaos, and any lawman who sees it gets the idea that the item is stolen or belonging to a criminal in their mind. The wearer must have a rock solid alibi or face charges from having the stolen weapon or armor. This spell takes several rounds to take effect, the first making the item simply seem sketchy, then seemingly stolen, then a very hot item.

[8] False Tracks (Pass Without Trace)

This spell makes the caster and up to two others not leave any traces through natural terrain, meaning no footprints, little bits of fabric, trampled underbrush and so on. However this spell has a twist that displays the tracks and hints of your direction towards another way, so while you go through the thick woods to lose your pursuers, they see your footprints going up to the hills. If someone was fast enough, they could see your footprints and little traces of your travel appearing step by step on their own down the fake location.

Those who spend a lot of time tracking and are good at it will not be easily fooled by this spell, as it tends to have a bunch of repetitive tricks it uses all the time, like a fake brush-over pattern with a branch as though the fake travelers were covering their tracks but did such a bad job of it it is obviously faked, tracks left through snow don't have any crushed packed snow, just a light scoop is taken out to make the fake paw prints, etc.

[9] Heated Hands (Burning Hands)

This spell makes the magic users hands glow bright red and give off tremendous heat. If they were wearing gloves, the gloves catch on fire or if they were metal gauntlets they turn bright orange from the heat and could be forged. Similarly, any metal object the magic user touches slowly turns bright as the metal gets hot enough to smith, water turns to steam when paddled through, and snow banks melt when the hands ruffle through it- obviously they cannot use any wooden weapons or hold a magic wand or staff while this spell is in use, else their instrument of magic will light on fire.

Any punch attacks done by the magic user deal 1d4 fire damage instead of their normal unarmed damage from the intense heat; a fast enough swing even creates a puff of fire and smoke on impact- potentially lightning the target on fire on a roll of 4 with a fist attack. Finally, by using their hands as a shield versus dragon fire or a fire based spell, the magic user can reduce incoming fire damage by -1 or get a +2 to saves versus fire and explosive spells as their hands try to turn away the blast. This spell lasts for 1d2 exploration turns.

[10] Protection from Neutral (Protection from Evil)

This spell protects you from the conniving and predatory nature of the “neutral”. This spell has a 1 ft radius and grants -2 to attack rolls done against you from neutral creatures and +2 to saving throws from spells or actions done by neutral creatures. In this case, Neutral creatures who are attacked you are doing so because they are hungry and want to eat you, or maybe are doing so for money as a mercenary. If you are being attacked by men of the law or by creatures acting in self defense, then they would count as Good for the attack and the spell doesn't work. If you're being attacked by sadists, slavers looking to make a mark, or cultists then you are being attacked by Evil and the spell does not work. Bandits who encounter wandering magic users often may shout about how they are going to torture the magic user or a string of heretical profanity to mark themselves as evil just long enough they can slip past this spell's defeneses.

[11] Wrap Wood (Warp Wood)

When cast, this spell wraps up several wooden items in yards of ridiculous colorful holiday paper as per gift giving traditions in the setting. These items are put in boxes, stuffed with papers, adorned with ribbons, etc. Arrows come in individually stuck boxes, the quarterstaff would be wrapped up head to toe, etc. Trying to use these weapons gives a -2 penalty to hit and damage as the paper softens the blow and loosens your grip. You can spend a round aggressively tearing apart the wrapping paper to get your weapon back. If you cast this spell on another objects made of wood, like planks of wood in a boat or floorboard the items are covered in fake tinsel snow. If cast on a tree, it just gets decorated as per a Christmas tree.

[12] Goose Geas (Geas)

The moment this spell is cast, a large aggressive male goose flies in from the nearest open window or door to stand around the target of the spell. The target is given an instruction or goal, or is told a negative command to not do something, and this spell binds them to that and tries to force them to do it. The Goose is how it does this. Every time the person steps out of line, tries to disobey the spell or subvert it, or seeks a counter-charm to the magic, the goose will honk, scream, peck and flap its wings to block and herd the target back on the path they're supposed to travel.

The Goose is still a normal 1 HD creature and can be swayed momentarily, allowing the target brief moments of not working towards their Geas (especially if bribed with bread), but the goose has a higher intelligence then more animals and knows its targets intention and actions. If the Goose is ever killed, it returns in 1d4 days 50% larger and with another HD. If the Goose ever is killed and will return with HD equal to the caster who cast this spell; it returns with three heads and magic wings that can flap apart spells of 1^st level or less. If slain this final time, it will not return.

[13] Shinigami (Shillelagh)

Infuses a bit of wood, usually a club or staff, with a spirit of death. The knots of the wood arrange themselves into a spooky skull-like face. The wooden club will always try to get the holder to cause more death and destruction, even if it furthers the users own ends, because the wooden spirit wishes to see more death in the world as that is how it gains power. It will also attempt to goad the weilder to take huge risks or try to bludgeon the head in of a huge monster, so its holder can also die for it as well. The Shinigami can grant +1 to all damage rolls while it is held, including spells, but will only do so for a wielder who continues to follow its advice.

[14] Pessimistic Sphere (Prismatic Sphere)

Creates a shifting magical sphere around the caster, which has several shades of gray. Anyone trying to attack the caster are hit with several strong sensations of depression, unmotivated, procrastination, ennui, laziness, obliviousness, and annoyance in that order from the inside out. You can destroy a layer by blasting it with a powerful spell of the opposite emotional effect or by dealing at least 10 damage; each layer can absorb up to 10 damage if you can succeed the saving throw needed to actually care enough to attack the sphere.

[15] Animate Objections (Animate Object)

This spell must be cast during an argument. The caster can either create the Objections based on their own arguments against their opposition, or they may cast it as a neutral third party which creates the objections of both sides. The Objections are based on the primary talking points of the argument and the objections to it. They are created as semi-real phantasmal creatures with exaggerated features and simplistic and assertive personalities made to fit their objection. For example, if a character's plan of action would take the group through a orc-infested mountain and the caster had an objection that they would be attacked by an orc ambush, then this spell would create a semi-cartoony orc carrying a huge stone over his head, as though to through it down on you from on top of the narrow mountain pass.

All creatures made by this spell have HD roughly equal to the importance and legitimacy of the objection to the argument, where as more nonsensical objections have less HD and are less real. The caster can create up to 1d4 + Charisma modifier objections. The objections disappear once the argument is settled, but in the most extreme cases could be made to attack the magic user's enemies who he was arguing with, for example. Sometimes, if the concern of the objection is wide enough or long lasting enough, or if the living objection is especially clever, it may stick around longer and become a permanent half-being of a living argument that was settled a long time ago.

[16] Pass-Stall (Passwall)

When cast, this spell creates a large stall section of a wall, with accompanying curtain. The stall is recessed into the wall it is created and made of the same material. The stall is big enough to hold one creature comfortably, but two or three could squeeze into it as a closet. The curtain and stall is magical; when the curtain is closed, creatures who saw you enter must patiently wait for those inside the stall to step out or open the curtain, and likewise those within are unable to fire spells or arrows out of the stall until the curtain is open. However both those in and out can prepare for the spell to end or for those inside to make their escape; such as by setting up caltrops or lying in ambush. The spell has a secondary effect along with this; anyone within the stall is somewhat concealed magically by this spell, and creatures must make a saving throw or pass right by the stall, if they were chasing you or just wandering around.

The stall lasts for 1d3 exploration turns and at the end of the duration it kicks everyone inside out and refills the empty space with a great exhalation of material.

[17] Invisible Stocker (Invisible Stalker)

This spell conjures forth an invisible, intelligent creature. The creature has 8 HD and is quite powerful, but is an absolute pacifist and refuses to make any attacks or participate in combat in any way. Instead it only has one joy in existence- To stock, arrange, organize, manage, and otherwise perform all the functions of a quartermaster to its controlling caster and their cohorts.

After any combat ends, the arrows and thrown weapons of the party are gathered back up silently, appearing back in their quivers and bags. Coins are arranged into piles and neatly arranged by metal type, and rations are carefully checked off and correctly portioned. The Invisible Stocker can even purchase goods from stores by pantomime, despite not wanting to speak, by arranging the desired items on the shelf with payment, and as soon as the payment is checked and taken by the store owner, the items will disappear when next not watched to be given to the ordering magic user. The Stocker can be ordered to follow to manage resources, stay at a stronghold to keep track of goods and stores, sent half the world away to purchase some rare and exotic item, and so on.

The Stocker is essentially permanent, but will start to resent ungrateful owners and may attempt to leave or even sabotage its own efforts as a last resort, replacing all the swords in your scabbard with rusted ones from your dungeon stockpile. If given occasional gifts, such as an abacus with golden counting beats or a nice set of scales this will keep it satisfied and happy in your employment.

[18] Slowest Poison (Slow Poison)

This spell creates a dark green sludge which can be mixed with a drink or food item to poison it, or coated on a weapon to deliver it to a target. When hit, this poison will kill the target, eventually. It takes 1d20+10 years for it to finally kick in and end the targets life, and there is no saving throw for this poison. Only powerful magic or a cure, or just dying of natural causes first, will save you from it.

[19] Finger of Left (Finger of Death)

Permanently transforms both of the target's hands into left hands. For most individuals, this would greatly reduce both spellcasting and fighting ability, granting a permanent offhand penalty to all actions and attacks (since both hands are now the wrong hand), but for left handed people, this actually gives them permanent perfect ambidexterity, as both of their hands are now their good hand. If you don't already know your character's dominant hand, just assume 1 in 10 chance for left-handed.

[20] Mirroring Foes (Mirror Image)
When cast, this spell creates 1d6 illusion copies of an enemy creature. The creature knows the copies are fake and is not scared of them, being able to see itself in the copies. However, the copies have two effects. First, it has an X in 6 chance, with X being the number of copies remaining, for an enemy magician to miscast a healing or support spell they were trying to cast on the real creature, since all the mirror images copy them and even speak if the creature speaks, making it more confusing as to which one is the real one.

Secondly, the actual location of the copied being is in question each round, and when an AoE spell is cast or a multiple-target attack lands, roll damage for each copy. The real one conveniently is the clone that takes the most damage from the multi-target attack or spell. Each round, one copy disappears and the enemy creature can use up an attack to attack a copy of itself to dispel it.

[Class] Trapped Demiurge

This concept and class was super experimental, and in all honesty, not really that good. However the concept of a powerful but also limited God or divine spirit being able to be a player character has always been a concept I wanted to experiment with. And here it is.

Trapped Demiurge

N/A

N/A

You are a creator being; left over since the beginning of the world. You're not THE demiurge, you are a tiny fractal part of the original creator. You are many places below the supreme being(s) in the celestial hierarchy. Most demiurges like yourself went into a long sleep after the world was made, absorbing your being into inanimate and ancient objects and places. Once within, they were trapped inside the objects that housed their spirit, but could alter reality as they saw fit.

Some Demiruges stayed around, perhaps to rule the created world. Some of them may have become the greater demons- corrupted by greed and power. Others may have become haughty ancient spirits of magic, only accessible to mortals and immortals by many long decades of study and introspection and spiritual purity. You are one of the ones who went to sleep and only woke up recently. Perhaps you lived within a stone roadside temple, accepting many small sacrifices and not becoming arrogant but instead satisfied and slothful, your prison being destroyed or somehow having you essence transferred into a new medium. Or perhaps the object you were originally housed in

As a Demiurge, you are a spirit. You cannot be harmed by physical attacks, nor can you interact with physical objects. You have localized (and limited) omnipresence and omniscience. You do not have a body, or the approximation of one in spirit form- beyond the body of the object you inhabit. You are more of a general presence that exists within an area around your object. You can only communicate through a medium, such as tea leaves or a spirit board, or through the whining voice of a white whistling dog; specially trained for spirits to speak through. Most Demiurges don't speak at all, and instead focus their abilities on helping those they've come across.

Just because you are an immortal and ancient being, doesn't mean you don't have feelings. You are like the Gods of the world, in which case you feel emotions and desires even more strongly then normal people. Your dedication and emotion is much greater then a normal persons capacity for it, simply put, and even a minor act of kindness you receive are returned as massive displays of affection and unconditional love. Most Demiurges are awoken when their object receives this kind of care; the ancient ceremonial blade is sharpened and polished, or an old painted carriage is redone and has its wheels realigned and ready to ride again. You instantly align to the persons who treated you so kindly, hence why you help them.

Mechanics

You don't have stats. Ignore whatever stats you rolled at character creation- this class may be used to offer an out to players who roll terrible starting stats where rerolls aren't allowed. Instead, roll 2d6 to determine your starting Rend, then roll 1d4 to determine your object class. Finally, subtract your object class roll from your Rend and the result number is your starting Potence- This ensures those with a poor object class and high rend will have a high amount of potence and vice-versa. If you get the unlikely result of 0 or a negative number, just set your potence to 1.

Object Class Table- 1d4

[1] Small, simplistic objects. Urn, bag, small statuette, handful of marbles, a single painting. You lack most useful forms of both inherent animation and function. You are not a weapon and do not gain any particular bonus to attacking.

[2] Small to medium sized objects of slight complexity. A skull with mandible, a cloak, a dagger, a chessboard. If your form is a weapon then you can attack at 1d4 by using a Lesser animation action.

[3] Medium sized objects of moderate complexity. Sword, a wheeled toy or rocking horse, a cabinet. Weapon can deal 1 damage on a trivial animation action or 1d6 on a Lesser animation action.

[4] Large objects and/or medium objects of high complexity. Grandfather clock, carriage, crossbow, chest with combination lock. Deal do 1d8 damage on a Lesser animation action if you're a weapon.

You don't have AC or health. Whatever object you have is your only source of stable being in this world. If it is destroyed, you are broken apart and scattered to the aether until mended once more. Every 1d6 years you spend broken apart you lose a Demiurge level, as your memories and magic fades over time. You can also be temporarily banished by a Cleric turning you or Magic User using binding and Abjuration spells- despite being above both of them in the celestial hierarchy, their crass methods can still be effective. Whenever you are forced to avoid being banished, you must roll over your Rend on a d20 roll. You also use this method for all non-specific saving throws.

Rend is your negative emotional state as well as the negative and vile magic and thoughts of others you've soaked up like a sponge. Whenever someone you are protecting and caring for dies, you cease to exist for 1d4 exploration turns by the mental anguish and gain a permanent point of Rend. You can also gain Rend by being vandalized, mocked, or otherwise mistreated as an object. You can also remove a point of Rend whenever a person you care for gains a level up or conquers a great personal obstacle.

Rend can also be removed through active release; to do so, you must use your abilities to do something that negatively impacts the party. For example, if one character is worrying and speaking aloud about the horrible goblins that live near this cave, the Demiurge may conjure those creatures as enemies, which act under the dungeon master's control and act exactly as they would, with all the danger and consequence of regular foes. The Demiurge then may remove Rend equal to the number of Potence used. It is for this reason items containing Demiurges are thought of as being equal parts blessed and cursed, and can sometimes lead to truly hopeless Demiurges into endless negative loops of despair- they find new friends, their rend causes them to create bad situations, their friends die, and they gain back even more Rend then before.

You don't cast spells- but you are infused with magical powers. Every ability you have costs potence to invoke. Each use costs 1 Potence, which only returns at the start of a new adventure. As you level up, you gain more Potence as well as more powerful abilities you can use.

Level	Animation	Conjuration	Transformation	Domination	Entrapment
1	Trivial	Trivial	X	X	X
2	Trivial	Trivial	X	X	X
3	Lesser	Trivial	X	Trivial	X
4	Lesser	Lesser	Trivial	Trivial	X
5	Lesser	Lesser	Trivial	Trivial	X
6	Major	Lesser	Lesser	Lesser	Trivial
7	Major	Major	Lesser	Lesser	Trivial
8	Grand	Major	Major	Major	Lesser
9	Grand	Grand	Major	Major	Lesser
10	Grand	Grand	Grand	Grand	Major

Abilities

Each type of ability can be used as many times per day as you wish, as long as you have enough Potence. Particularly powerful or complex use of your abilities may cost additional potence. The graph above shows the maximum power you can perform with your abilities of each type, which increase with level.

Animation lets you move your object; typically things are animated in accordance to how the object could normally move. Round objects roll, fabric slithers and glides, big things take steps, etc. Trivial actions are akin to a small nudge, where as Lesser would be a powerful shove or a controlled motion over several seconds. Major moves the object as though it was fully controlled; such as levitation as it was being carried or long-term motion via rolling on its wheels. Grand allows for breaking the rules and allowing true flight or human-like full body motion on the object.

Conjuration allows the Demiurge to conjure beings, objects, and elemental energies into being. Trivial conjurations can create match stick sized flames, creatures with less then 1 HD, or small basic objects like wooden cups and stakes. Grand conjurations can create fully realized people or monsters with several HD or levels, with preset motivations and magical abilities as well as create storms from nothing and create magical artifacts of a moderate power level. All creations made by a Demiurge are considered real for all purposes of spells and magic, sexual reproduction, and are all permanent. Unlike conjurations made by magic, these creations have minds of their own and while they can be steered based on their personality and memories given to them, they cannot be controlled further by the Demiurge without casting Domination powers on them.

Transformation allows the Demiurge to change their own form. Trivial changes include things like colors, shapes, textures, smells, and other small things that cannot deal damage or cause anything more then a distraction. Lesser Transformations could grant useful properties like enhanced durability or buoyancy, where as Major and Grand could change the physical form such as granting magic wings that grant flight to vehicle-bound demiurges, or even create a human body out of the object, which only comes undone upon the body's “death”, it's flesh turning back into the object of which the demiurge is bound forever within.

Domination grants the powers of mind control to the Demiurge. Trivial actions can only help steer people and control the moods of animals, where as Grand can totally change a person's entire mind or personality, or create wild fantasies that only that person can see. Using this power in tandem with Conjuration lets you control what you create fully- helping your friends or mentally controlling your enemies to keep them away. Most mind-controlling actions allow a saving throw to resist, but you can avoid it by paying an extra Potence if you are at least capable of a “Major” domination power.

Entrapment is the final power of the Demiurge. It is used to trap other spiritual beings, and eventually, living beings within objects or within yourself, in the same way you are. Trivial only works on small nature spirits, where as Lesser can trap ghosts, Major can trap even more powerful spirits like demons and even weak living creatures, with Grand being able to permanently trap even Gods and other Demiurges within objects, though such traps will always be temporarily for such powerful beings. Normally Demiurges cannot trap beings like this unless you somehow became more powerful then them, which would require methods outside of leveling to become even more potent.

At 10^th level, you become a Pantheurge and most broaden your horizons to the wider universe. You are no longer bound to your object and can travel where you wish as long as you have a medium- such as floating up to the sky to go with the clouds or sinking to the sea to travel with the ocean currents. But the pain and steady weight of this world's burdens tempt you to leave it. Technically you never stop leveling, but this is the most powerful kind of Demiurge you can control as a player.

Additionally, you gain the ability to directly transfer Rend into yourself by absorbing the corruption and death of a place or from a being; this causes your original containing object to rot and decay away even though you are no longer bound to it. It also becomes harder for you to get rid of Rend- now your concerns encompass entire villages and many cultures of people, not just your small group of adventuring pals. Every season roll a d20 against your Rend- If you ever roll under your Rend value, you leave the Earth to create your own fractal dimension.

You're the car, basically.

d6 Random Cursed Trash Tables

-1d6 Cursed Notes & Papers
[1] Deadly, Shocking Note
When the user reads this note or scrap of paper, they scream, hold their hand to their mouth, and then clutch their heart as they go down like they had a heart attack. After 10 seconds, they get back up. The note just says something dumb like "pretend to have a heart attack when you read this". It's a dumb prank spell, and only works once.

[2] Flutter Spoil
When your character does something bad, like steal an apple from a stand or confess to hating someone behind their back, the crinkled old note will animate and turn into a paper butterfly, and then fly off to go tell someone nearby what they learned. Most of the time it will only cause some minor inconvenience, but could tell the world about a serious crime if it was the first thing it witnessed. If you hit the butterfly with an arrow or spell (AC 19 or +9 to saves), it will prevent the message from getting out.

[3] Under Budget
This notebook contains pointless tables and notes of tax and census information, many decades out of date for a province you've never been to. Every day you hold it, you lose 1d6x10 coins/gold/silver out of nowhere, you just can't seem to find it. Only by carefully going through the budgeting book can you find the missing bits of money, added in to cancel some pointless debt, in which case the coins come tumbling out of the open book when it is next opened. This happens for as long as you hold the book, or finishing balancing all the money within, which could take months of steady work to finish.

[4] Doodle Monster
This book is filled with little pictures of monsters. Goblins with dumb expressions, silly looking dragons breathing dumb wiggly lines for fire, and many other childish doodles. However one monster looks a little different, and is drawn straight on looking at the reader. Once seen, the monster appears at night in 1d6 nights to attack the person who saw it. It is quite weak, just a drawing after all, but has a surprise attack.

Doodle Monster (1 HD, +2 to hit, -2 AC from paper body, doodle weapon at 1d6-1)
Morale- 11
Numbers- One, unless in magic notebook land

The Doodle Monster is a strange creature made of paper and lines of ink or graphite- it is black and white and lacks almost all detail. It's form suggests something biological and monstrous, but is too poorly created to be much threat. However it is so alien and shocking to see a drawing come to life like this that it always gets a free surprise round as it jumps out of nowhere.

[5] Horsewhip Atlas
Strange and crude atlas and travel guards to fictional places. Whenever the character rides on a horse, it seems more agitated and trotting too fast, like it's traveling to go somewhere new out from under the rider's feet. The horse is much more tired after a whole day of riding then it should be, slowing down travel or potentially injuring the horse if forced to continue at this pace.

[6] Discordant Melody
This paper has a half completed bit of sheet music on it; whenever a nearby musician tries to play a song, a few spare notes and badly sung notes will slip out of them, making the performance less skillful. Party members will rightly start being blamed by superstitious performers. If you have a bard in the party then once per combat this curse will make one of their spells or song-actions deal or heal 1 less point, or will make it easier for enemies to resist its effects by +1, etc. This curse can be broken by either having someone finish the music and play it off, or by burning the page, in which case the sound of mournful music plays in the fire's crackling.

-1d6 Spoiling Liquids
[1] Green Envy
Bottle is filled with green envy. Was once a Charisma potion, or similar. Once drunk, the potion makes the person who drank it envious and jealous of everyone, making them have less Charisma for the duration of 1d4 days. If not drunk, the bottle is desired by others for as long as the user carries it, or to see its contents finally drunk.

[2] Negative Mana
This is a potion of magically energy that has reversed its polarity over its duration. Now, if spilled, any magical person will lose some amount of magic points/prepared spells to the draining effect of the liquid if it touches their skin. Even those not affected by the liquid can accidentally drain energy by touching someone with magical powers after they touch the liquid.

[3] Whistling Wine
This liquid is spoiled to the point that it randomly boils. Once per day, there is a 1 in 4 chance the bottle will start whistling. Not only does it make it hot and uncomfortable for the user to carry, but it also makes a loud whistling noise that attracts attention. The bottle will always whistle at the worst time, and can be ended at any time by just smashing it.

[4] Blackberry Bear Berries
This potion attracts bears, and still smells sweet. Anyone who drinks it will be healed 1 hit point and it still tastes good. If confronted by an otherwise neutral bear, just throwing this potion at it is enough to make it run off, carrying it away in their jaws.

[5] Fly Ointment
This magical curative seems great at first; once found out it is known to be an ointment that heals people as per cure wound potion, but a sticky ointment is how it is applied. After being applied though, the sticky ointment attracts buzzing flies to get stuck in it, creating a gross spot on the subject's skin where flies are dying off and making them smell bad. Only wears off after the wounds the ointment healed would have just healed up naturally.

[6] Shattering Glass Potion
When opened to be smelled or drank, the liquid inside vanishes. It was an illusion. The moment it does, the bottle also shatters causing a 1d4 damage as the glass shards get stuck in their hand.

-1d6 Grit & Bits
[1] Grounds of Vinegar

Grimy, oily handfuls of sandy grains. The next time you cook something, these magically sprinkle themselves onto the food, ruining a ration. Dogs won't even eat it.

[2] Crumbs of Peril

Tiny gray bits of stone. When carried they lie dormant, until the user gets nearby a cliff. Shift their weight to try and pull them over, granting a maximum of -1 on a saving throw vs falling down or increasing the damage they take from an unavoidable fall by +1

[3] Shiny Shards

Small metallic shards of metal, picked up as treasure in the trash. They're still trash. These items do not have any value but appear as precious metals to the user, causing them to fawn over them and get -1 Charisma modifier to any metalsmiths or bankers they interact with, who can practically feel your love of fool's gold.

[4] Antimagical Grit

These grits appear as mildly glowing small grains or spent seed shellings. Upon first inspection, they seem fit to serve in a magical potion of a few different uses. If actually used in a potion however, they spoil the broth and make the potion nothing more then a watered down glowy water with the minimum possible effectiveness. (Healing potions thus spoiled heal a max of 1 hp per hit dice they normally heal, protection from an elements only lasts for 1 turn, etc.)

[5] Burglar Bits & Bobs

Handful of trash that animate at night. Little gray men come folding out of this refuse as though they were hiding within, grabbing nearby coins or other small valuable objects to steal them away. The worst things they may steal might be gems or even holy symbols if made of precious metals, but they don't have the strength or numbers to grab things as big and heavy as potion bottles or daggers. The tiny burglars steal the stuff and stash it away for nearby, hoping to be able to pick it up later when they get the chance and get some money so they can grow larger. The more they steal, the more likely they will be able to reach human size before they get disemboweled by some bored farm cat.

[6] Slush Pile

Your handful of vague material is cool to the touch. When you place it in your bag or pack, or carry it along with you in some way, there is a 1 in 6 chance each day you will wake up and it will be replaced with snow. The large pile of snow will get things wet, put out sources of fire, and generally be a nuisance. Anything wet from the snow may have may grits pre-expanded stuck to them, resulting in a few days or getting accidentally snowed in or seeing your pack stuffed with snow and ruining your spellback as you dumb it out onto the floor.

20 Horrible Dimensions

[1] Utterfringe. You are transported into a realm that is a dark, frigid forest around a very comfortable and quaint village. The village is inhabited by people of your race and culture, and is very peaceful. However, any attempt to approach this village is met with screams and thrown rocks, guards are called out, but they never pursue you into the woods or seek to kill you, merely drive you away.

You are never allowed to be a part of their society. They don't even speak to you like a person, they view you like you're some kind of animal or monster. You are utterly alone, and must survive by stealing scraps of food and discarded apple cores. For whatever reason, you can only get the worst bits, and fate intervenes whenever you try to improve your lot in any way. You will subsist this way until you die of exposure or old age- multiple people transported to the Utterfrineg get trapped outside of different villages. It is unknown if anyone could cross the bleak forests to meet each other, as the villages have no roads.

[2] Pulsing Hills. Each shaggy, moss covered hill emits a different pulsing wave of energy, intervals of a few seconds each. The pulse is weaker at the base of each hill, but different pulses bleed into each other where the hills touch, with the top of each hill being the most powerful. Most pulses are constant drumming feeling, and do not feel good, causing either stat damage to a specific stat, temporary lose of a sense, some health damage, or some other negative for staying more then one exploration turn on an individual hill.

There are also few hills with positive pulses, usually that aid in healing or make the user experience a rush of euphoria, and ALL of these are heavily guarded by round walls and gates by ogre-like creatures and their scrawny pet sorcerers. Crowded around these hills are masses of trans dimensional travelers, runts, and other native species trying to get a moment of rest before being sprayed with freezing water and made to leave.

[3] The Harp Player. Realm with a golden floor and vaulted pillars of golden splendor. All of them surround a very old man with a long white beard wearing a long white robe. He plays a magical golden harp at all times. He does not sleep or eat or age, but is mortal. If he stops playing the harp for more then a few minutes, the pillars begin to crack and crumble, the ground starts to shift, and everything would (he claims) fall into oblivion blackness for eternity. As such, he plays his harp.

The old man is also totally corrupted by his power and knows he cannot be killed or stopped by anyone- since his hands are the only things keeping everyone trapped here alive. Several monkey-like men with fur painted gold from the pillars they rub and sleep up against are his honor guard, and he also knows several spells. If he breaks one of the harp strings, he can create a bottomless pit in this realm at any point of his choosing as well, and only requires a long white whisker from one of his pets to replace it. The corrupt old man uses his power to get anything and everything he wants from dimensional travelers and the native beings; a hoard of treasure and personal items worth nothing to himself lie at his feet all while he strums his gentle harp.

[4] World in a Smokescreen. Every where you go, there is a very thick smoke constantly rising from every object and being that sits still. It also is carried around by winds, but never blown away by them, spreading itself everywhere there is any open space. The smoke is only a slight irritation, but you must breathe it constantly, and there is much dread over your health as it looms.

If something, or someone, does not move the smoke rises from them. They feel at peace if they are alive, but also must still breathe the smoke and force others to breathe it as well, since they have become a conductor for it. As objects move around, they start to lose color, crack, fade, and slowly turn into gray dust which makes up the dirt and soil in this realm. Even people begin to fall apart, starting at the hands and ending at the feet, so they may continue walking as long as they wish, just to get some fresh air.

[5] Realm of Sweet Release. It's just a candy realm. Everything here is made of candy; cotton candy clouds, licorice forest, graham cracker houses and evil gingerbread men with tamed jawbreaker beholders, etc. Doesn't seem so bad until you realize there is no protein or fats here you can eat, so you start to get very sick and need to constantly eat worthless sugar for energy which rots your teeth and stains your lips multiple colors.

To add insult to injury when you finally turn on each other and commit the act of cannibalism to survive- the guy you killed has his head pop open and candy sprays out. You're all pinatas now.

[6] Hard Mode Dimension. Everything is the same as it was in your home world, everyone has the same positions and goals. However, everything that has any element of challenge or danger to you is amplified. Little kids throw rocks that fire as fast as slings. Edges of furniture you bump into break skin and make you bleed. Even small animals are more aggressive and diseased with every worse poxes to infect you with. Labor is also changed; dirt is harder and your shovels break. Math equations require multiple harder, more complex steps to solve. Magical arts suffer to, an archmage struggles as an apprentice does to keep a potion-pot boiling and needs more ingredients for even a simple poultice.

Regardless of how you try to prove or show this, everyone else in this dimension seems normal, and none of them have any more advanced ability then they used it, it is simply you who seems weaker and unprepared to be here. A less powerful version of the self that could have existed in this place.

[7] Pyramid Realm. This entire dimension rests within a utterly massive pyramid, with sloping mountains of stairs to ascend further. Hundreds of millions of tomb rooms and traps in every direction, an explorer's paradise. It is also very dangerous, with crocodile pits and ancient magics and old ways of killing.

Everything brought from this realm anywhere else falls apart and becomes useless sand. The dead bodies of your friends also cannot leave without becoming sand as well, they're part of the pyramid now, as much as a tomb for them as it is for the cursed mummies who still walk the halls.

[8] The Doll House. This dimension is filled with artificial people, animals, plants, and vistas. You're the size of a doll, and can see a black veil in the east that goes up, down, and across the entire horizon forever. This is the wall that the great ones can peer through. The more you disturb, the more likely you are to be noticed.

If you are noticed, you are attacked by titanic hands which seek to turn you into something else; every time you are touched or stroked your body turns less organic, more artificial, replacing your bones and organs with red fluff that slowly turns white, your skin becomes more like fabric, your eyes get harder and more like buttons. If you are defeated you turn into an unmoving, unliving doll that will be placed in a scene to be admired from afar, a morbid panaroma.

[9] Realm of Siege. Massive city with marble streets and the finest architecture in ruins. War machines still attack the city, an endless assault on this place. There are no living things beyond rats and weeds; the war machines having killed them all off. The invaders are nowhere to be found, but the skeletons outside seem to show that they are also gone. The city itself is a beautiful place, massive murals of forgotten gods, huge fountains and baths, a level of sophistication and opulence not seen in your world anywhere. There is a massive millhouse complex that even made grain for the poor; which is now under siege.

This realm is a waste- and the machines still run. Despite the various rusting parts and broken wheels, the machines ineffectively chip away at the opulent palaces and strucutres. The long broken catapult with no driver uses its beam to rub out a sign, little stomping machine with iron feet break shards of glass from an already shattered window, a pointless assault that lasts forever. If you are spotted, the machines will attack you to, and while some are more suited to structures others are very adapt at killing soldiers. They've just ran out of soldiers to kill.

[10] The Small Space. The entire realm is the size of a large warehouse, with impenetrable walls, floors, and ceilings of unbreakable black stone. Almost everything here can hear and smell everything else. It is just empty space, but over the years the corpses, intelligent beings, and plants have built a complex maze-like canopy of tight spaces and clutter to make it feel a little less cramped. An entire society lives here, with relegated farming space, social strata, and predators/monsters outside “the walls” who you can feel the body heat of when they get up to go hunting. Most go insane here, due to an absolute lack of privacy. Even the highest nobles only get enough space to lie down, the rest stand or take turns sitting in the fetal position on a bed of rotting leaves from the tree that you were also born under.

[11] Dimension of the Falling Daggers. This realm seems similar to your world, just with a feeling of dread and apprehension. Everyone has a dagger floating over their head, each one is unique and fitting to that person, but all look painful and deadly. Those with unusually strong constitutions will have a poisonous dagger, and those who are agile will have a double sided dagger so they cannot try to grab the handle, etc. Regardless of what your dagger is, if it falls on you you will perish from it, no save or hit points will save you.

Somewhere in your new order in the cosmic scheme of things; there is a entity watching you. If you displease it, the dagger may vibrate or glow, warning you that it is about to fall if you continue your actions. Most people get a feel from what their entity wants from them; but none of them allow you to live an easy or happy life. Every entity is different as well, and some will force you to commit horrible crimes or betray your principles under pain of death. Civilization must still persist either way, and the executioner is just as threatened by his dagger as he tightens the hangman's noose around the neck of an innocent man. Once a person dies, the dagger meanders off into the wasteland. Nobody knows where they go.

[12] Elemental Inferno. All elements in the smallest proportions to the biggest are personified and have intelligence of their own. They may be displeased with you and act out- Fire refuses to cook your food or warm you without the proper sacrifices. Water may simply leave your well and trickle somewhere else, if you do not worship and please it. The elements also regularly feud with each other; great mudslides as water and earth clash, or gouts of stream that engulf your home and force you out or be burned as your stove and water jug duke it out over pointless banter.

The elements also form elementals; more reasonable but more powerful then the ones in the actual world. They may be huge, eating small elements to grow more powerful or casually destroying huge areas or killing people as a condition of what they are. Similar to genies, they will grant “wishes”, but their wishes are always twisted with magic and malice as they inadvertently ruin the balance of harmony. The air elemental will gladly slay your rivals by throwing huge boulders at them, but will kill many innocents along the way, or infuse you with electrical energies so you cannot ever touch a metal object again as part of the “deal”.

[13] The Least Place. This dimension, everyone believes only in themselves. The moment children are born, nothing makes the parents of the child care for them beyond the thought of genetic legacy. No love or honor binds anyone. Nobody fights for any cause unless it directly benefits them with gold or power, or unless they were threatened to do it. These people do not have souls, they vote and demand treatment that is better without thought to their countrymen or to any sort of code of morality. They are the least people.

[14] Parasite's Dream. Everything in this dimension can only reproduce by infecting other beings. Sex is forced, bladed appendages infect wounds with slithering offspring. Many kill, fully grown adults springing forth from the corpse. This realm contains huge, 8 ft tall insectoids with bladed arms that slice apart anything too big to escape their notice; mostly human travelers who stupidly wander into this cursed realm. The floor is covered in mushrooms, or endlessly erode the stone and soot. Maybe one day they'll spawn their way to the bottom and this nightmare can end.

[15] Alien Afterlife. This multicolored realm is filled with lounging spirits of strange shape, blissfully unaware of your struggles or dangers. There are huge faces here, deities of cultures you'll never meet or understand, with slithering tongues that bathe the spirits in glory. Weird plants caresses parts of your body you don't have, tending to the faults of life with their alien desires and alien needs, all taken care of.

Nothing in this realm is supposed to be hostile, but you are simply a traveler in a place you shouldn't even be. The water is alkaline. The music screeches and leaves marks in your skin. The spirits play games with you that make you bleed and lose your vision, electric touches that short out your optic nerve and try to make it see things that you didn't want to see. If you manage to survive this realm, you won't come back without 1d2 newly implanted alien organs in your body.

[16] The Mountain. The mountain is endlessly high, and continues falling. Every day, hundreds of boulders and stones roll from the top down to the bottom, which is being lost to a black ocean that breaks anything that falls into it apart into pieces and dissolves them to nothing. It is like a powerful acid, but acid resistance offers no protection. The mountain is constantly sinking into this sea as well, the first 1d20x100 feet getting swallowed by the ocean, any anyone down there lost with it.

The only way to stay alive is climb, bloody knuckled fingers. Huge black rams bat each other off the cliffs into the sea below to fight over the ewes, Unless you can survive on the rugged shaggy grasses, you'll have to survive on the lizards and snakes in their dens up the mountain as you climb. If you make enemies with anyone, they may try to go ahead of you and destroy any way to ascend above you, making you unable to climb and making you lost to the sea by the time it catches up to you.

[17] Realm of Onnic. There is a magic spell that conjures some of the mist of this realm, but the realm itself is much more expansive. The realm is filled with deep purple smoke, heavy purple dew, and pools of purple liquid. Everything here is in a state of combination and confusion. Neighboring objects, elements, beings, and forces share properties with each other. Predators grow horns to butt away the killing teeth and claws of prey animals, while trees strangle their suddenly animated branches around the rough bark-like necks of grazing animals. These animals are not naturally supposed to be here, but were brought to experiment with the powers of the realm and managed to hang on.

Traveling in this realm is twice as difficult, even if you stick to the less foggy and wet areas, due to your feet meshing with the soil and terrain as you try to pass over. Going through an especially boggy area is suicide, as your composite form and traits start to spread quickly through the landscape, and you can die from being split into a zillion parts, becoming one with the realm via absorption. Every day spent here confers a 1 in 6 chance of gaining a new memory, randomizes one of your stats into a new number; roll a 1d20 to determine it, or you may wake up a new race, gender, or with greatly different equipment. These are from the infused qualities of the realms.

[18] The Prison Realm. This realm is made to imprison beings from around the multiverse. Nobody truly owned or created it, it was formed by a combined need and from natural phenomenon that happened to fit the need. This realm is like a massive dungeon or jail, with an unlimited number of new chambers and rooms found down the next hall as needed. Old areas no longer suitable are abandoned or scavenged. People sent here are instantly thought of as prisoners, and are cosmically marked by it. You wouldn't be here unless if you were a prisoner. Those with the power to travel between dimensions immediately get trapped here, requiring huge amounts of magic or friends in very high places to get out of this sink-trap of a dimension.

There are natural ecosystems here; a race of prison guards, with a natural inclination towards strength and cruelty. Rusted iron armor grows as they do, their inheritance from the stones. Food is grown along long ditches in the naturally forming canteen caverns; prisoners are loaded up in long gangs and forced to march between different ones to let the mushroom breads and moldy old meat plants regenerate after their daily breakfast. The place is illuminated by torches, as wood grows from metal sockets in the walls and eventually ignites to form long standing light sources. Long gargoyle mouths form in the stone to release streams of water in mold coated shower rooms.

The culture of the guards is rather brutish and simple, and any one of them taken out of this realm would have a very different mindset of normal beings. Also, guards are not subject to the difficulties of the “prisoners”, and could leave the realm via astral travel or teleportation much easier then a prisoner could. In its deepest pits, the beings this realm houses are much more powerful and ancient then the mortals sent here to die.

[19] The Second Land of the Shadow Men. While otherwise appearing as a normal material world with average races, monsters hiding in the dark places, shadowy magic traditions and more, the entire realm is controlled and oppressed by the Shadow Men. This is their second try, the first devolving their home dimension into an endless, listless darkness.

The Shadow Men come out at night in this dimension, having power. Once night falls, all beings outside freeze in place so the Shadow Men can descend upon them. Drawing blood with long black needles and experimenting on them, casting spells and watching everything. If you're inside at night you just feel an uneasy stillness, able to move slowly and sluggishly, but still easy prey for the Shadow Men if they so marked you. The light in this realm is being devoured, and already the Gods here are becoming weaker and less present as the Shadow Men try their great working again.

[20] The Four Golden Valleys. In this dimension, there are four golden valleys. The first one you visit is a gorgeous wonderland, with every surface covered in golden dust and painted in gold. Around the gold are piles of other precious metals, treasures, bottles of incredibly luxurious and expensive wines, and so on. The second valley contains even more- magical golden mirrors that can create illusions of you you want to see, beautiful golden statues of young men and women, ready to serve you in any way you wish, fountains of curative potions that can fix your illnesses and imbue you with supernaturally long life and magic powers, and so on. Each valley is greater then the last, but no one has ever seen or described the third and fourth Valley- whatever lay in them must be even more breathtaking.

 

The moment you enter this realm, a dark shadow hangs over you. If you for even an instant appreciate this place for more then just a means to an end, or if you ever desire more then you truly “need” from this place, you will be trapped here forever. Your body will be blown apart by the wind, piece by piece, your skin and flesh turning dark amber and eventually becoming the massive fields of golden dust just outside each of the valleys- your mind is unraveled too, creating and infusing the works of art in this place as your memories and magic crack and sprinkle over the landscape to become a part of its richness. It is possible to travel through here without taking anything, but a single failed saving throw means sure isolation and death. One person has even managed to take a treasure from the valley without consequence; a blind old monk meditated to reach this realm, sifted through a pile of golden rice, and took the smallest grain with a humble bow so he could pay for repairs and to feed the local orphanage. With even a scrap of selfish intent, you will be lost.

8 Fairy Ice-Queen Traps

[1] Snowflake Shurikens. Classic. Deals 3d4 damage, save to only take 1d4. Each one is unique, and are flung across the hallway as thought they were freshly formed.

[2] While walking across an icy floor; one random character must make a saving throw. On a fail, the floor breaks open, they fall in, and then the floor refreezes itself- This is the wrath of the fairy Queen of Frozen Waters. This nightmarish trap freezes the unlucky soul under the ice. It is possible to break the ice by using a powerful heat spell or with pickaxes and hammers, but you have to go fast before the parrty member drowns.

If you're breaking into the palace of the Queen of the Chilling Winds instead; then the trap creates a miniature blizzard and snowstorm that buries the character in snow to the same effect. Your allies will need shovels to help get you out before you suffocate under the snow.

[3] Fearsome Flurries. Small, endlessly spinning flurries of snow. If someone steps through it or disturbs its, a fae creature steps 'sideways' out of thin air to enter the world and attack you. Favored minion of the Fairy Queen of the Chilling Winds.

Fearsome Flurrie (2 HD, +2 to hit, 1d4+1 cruel dagger, immune to cold, pain-cold burst)

Morale- N/A

Number- 1 per disturbed Flurrie. Battle likely to disturb and draw in more enemies.

This fae creature looks like an impossibly tall, gaunt woman with ice crystals forming on her eye lashes and lips from the chill in the air. They are totally immune to cold damage, and also pain. If hit by attacks or spells that primarily cause pain (pain spells, whips, torture devices, etc.), they both resist the pain effect and also release a burst of cold equal to the pain; usually 1d6 damage to all within a short distance.

[4] Cold Snap. When an invisible line is crossed, a very strong and powerful blast of cold wind hits the offender with the force of winter. The ground around them freezes solid, and their clothes become stiff from the wind. Deals 2d6 cold damage. No save.

[5] Character steps into a blue light and starts to cry. They tear 3d6 tears, save for 1d6 tears instead. These tears represent their emotions, and fall to the ground as frozen blue crystals. If the crystals melt or are lost/stolen away from the character, they lose 1 point of permanent Charisma per destroyed or stolen tear. The tears will melt if left out in direct sunlight or if thrown in a fire, but aren't warmed by body heat and will stay safe as long as its cool enough where they are kept.

[6] Spirit of Death. Half rotted caribou carcass in the small embankment of snow. Warnings or a line drawn in the fallen slush tell you not to pass. If you do pass, the carcass's head turns towards you and laughs as a sense of dread fills you and deathly energies assault your body. Take 2d6 damage and make a saving throw or lose a level via level drain.

[7] Clinging Freeze mist. The cold chill is a light blue misty fog that follows and clings to people it touches. Each turn, make a save or take 1 damage from the slow numbing cold. If you're holding a torch, it goes out 1 turn faster. You can remove the cold by either sleeping indoors where blankets will ward it away, or by casting a spell to cure it.

[8] Black Ice Orb. This frozen orb of black magical ice floats in the air. If struck with a weapon, it freezes the weapon used to strike it. The black ice coats the weapon and makes it deal a maximum of 3 damage until melted off over the course of 3 days over a hot fire. The magical ice orb tries to get people to attack it by imitating the sounds of an enemy, or accompanying several other dark magic traps to enrage intruders into attacking it.

20 Teeth Mutations

[1] Your teeth become wavy, with extremely strange formations and hooks. You have a slight lisp and take twice as long to consume any ration; but for one specific fruit, vegetable, or seed you can consume in a split second. Determine randomly- your teeth excel at taking it apart, but nothing else.

[2] Your teeth look pretty normal, but have a strange property when they exit your mouth. Whenever you have a tooth pulled OR take 4+ blunt damage from a mace, club, or punch- your tooth flies out from your mouth. The tooth will begin to swell each second, doubling in size every combat round. It stops after 6 rounds, becoming a huge white boulder with a very hard outer shell. If broken apart, could be used to make material for some kind of armor, or could be flung as a +1 siege weapon.

[3] You have bull teeth. Long incisors on the bottom row, molars in the back, and a rough dental pad on the top. You can chew and digest grass now, but lack the sharp teeth necessary for a bite attack. Also you can moo like a bovine and female cows gather around you for your protection. Bulls prefer to charge you and try to gore you to establish dominance.

[4] Your teeth turn into tiny, chattering undead skulls. They chew food for you, but also try to talk over you whenever you speak, by warping your words into a cacophony of voices. Turn undead being cast on you makes 1d4 of your teeth fall out, who try to run and hide in little cracks in the walls.

[5] Cage Mouth. Your teeth are long and hard, similar to prison bars. It's hard for you to bite down on things or eat, but any small creature you trap in your mouth has disadvantage on all rolls to try and escape as long as you don't talk.

[6] Liquid Teeth. Instead of teeth, you what an opaque white liquid kept in your mouth. It doesn't drip out unless you want it to or you spit, and can be safely stored in your gums or under your tongue when you speak or eat before use. The liquid teeth touches things and acts as though they have been bitten and chewed- sloshing some of your liquid teeth over a piece of bread tears it into little bite sized wet chunks. You can spit out your liquid teeth on others to deal 1 damage to them, or throw a bottle filled with your liquid to deal a 1d4 chew bomb, in which their injuries appeared as though you bit them. You can also chew things on the go by spitting out your liquid teeth into a container and adding your liquid teeth to it, thus chewing food inside a hip-flask while you walk. You don't get new liquid teeth if you lose yours but it's relatively easy for you to drink it back in if you manage to find any of your lost mouth-fluids.

[7] Planet Teeth. Your teeth look like tiny planets, a few with moons. Food you eat are blasted apart by gravatonic forces and meteorite impacts, a primitive civilization is developing on your back molar. Avoid cavities, lest the sinkhole take away their finest city.

[8] Your teeth were swapped with that of a holy man. If you smile while turning undead, add +1 to the roll or if you cannot turn undead you get +2 AC for a single attack made against you by an undead creature per round, as long as you focus your smile on them. If you drink alchol or eat anything too luxurious, you'll get toothaches. Regardless of your actions in life, your teeth will be taken as a holy relic.

[9] Regenerating Teeth. Your teeth constantly rot away, but also regenerate just as fast- they grow back in less then a day. Unfortunately, all your teeth rot and regrow at different rates, meaning at any given time you need to charm someone or smile randomly lose -1d4 Charisma based on your rate of teeth decay. Because of this, your teeth will always grow back if knocked out, and you can also temporarily have all your teeth grow back and be clean for a short time by pulling all your teeth out so they grow back about at the same time- requires hour long tooth pulling session and you take 1 damage from the blood lose and general pain.

[10] Hollow fangs. Not necessarily a vampire, but you can only 'eat' things by sucking liquid out of them with your long hollow fangs- such as sucking juice out of a fruit or draining a gourd of its moisture. You can deal 1d4 damage with these but don't heal from it unless you become partially undead or a vampire.

[11] Special Tooth. All your teeth fall out except for one; it's a large and slightly blue magical tooth. Treat it as a +1 weapon and you can eat ghost food or chew ghostly things with it. You can also use up its magical powers for the rest of the day to cast a spell with +1 damage. The tooth also contains some of your life force and if the tooth is ever removed you take -1d4 Constitution per day damage until you die from wasting away.

[12] Gremlin Teeth-Town. Each one of your teeth has a “door” appear on the back of it. Each tooth is lived in by a gremlin as their little house. They live off picking up bits of stuff from between your teeth, and may occasionally ask you to eat something specific- like eat some more lettuce so we can make new curtains. The richest gremlins live in your molars, little mansions with the best detritus to gather. The gremlins come out and dance on your tongue whenever you sleep, and sometimes you breathe out little bits of white smoke when their chimneys are all lit up. If you make friends with them you may be able to use them for something, like spitting them into a machine to try and figure out how it works from the inside or have them make you a very tiny set of chainmail for your uvula.

[13] Your teeth become fake and capable of being lifted up. There is a small storage space between your fake teeth and gums, but as long as you keep your teeth in they feel and act as totally real. Anything hidden between under your fake teeth is impossible for anyone else to find, as your teeth are so convincing. You have enough space under their to store a small rolled up scroll, a very tiny vial of poison, or some other miniature useful item.

[14] Harmonious teeth. Your teeth change to have many holes, weird groves, carvings, and smooth disc-like surfaces raised on them. They do not look diseased or rotten, instead simply looking like a work of art. While annoying to keep clean, if you fill your mouth with water and let it pour out the water will make a sound similar to a wind chime as it works your way through your strange and mystical teeth. The sound can be used to open certain secret passages that have a common passcode, such as a short musical ditty or if it opens at the phrase “open sesame”.

[15] Big Bucks. You now have only two teeth, two huge front incisors or 'buck' teeth. You can use them to cut and chew through things as a dagger or small hand axe could, and you can often be seen chewing on wood and shaping little sculptures or spears.

[16] Energetic Teeth. Your teeth store energy you consume or put upon them; shaking your head or jumping up and down makes your teeth feel strange, like they're lagging behind the rest of you or more effected by inertia. When you eat food, some of the flavor gets suctioned into your teeth to give them physical energies. At your will, you can speak in a massive booming voice powered by your magical teeth that lets you speak over crowds or make intimidating commands.

[17] Your teeth are replaced with tiny shellfish. They are shaped a bit like teeth with white shells, but can squirt ink as a defense mechanism. You can now spit out a stream of ink, which could be used for drawing and writing, marking walls, or to try and blind someone. If you use it underwater it becomes a murky black cloud that is very hard to shoot through and may help you escape an attacker. If you need a limit; 4 + Con modifier uses per day.

[18] Flail teeth. All your teeth disappear from your mouth, and your tongue instead is replaced with a chain and spiked flail within, with the same texture and whiteness as your teeth. You “chew” food by smashing it with the flail inside your mouth, which somehow works and makes meaty slaps even if you keep your mouth closed. You can also use this as a weapon in combat, swinging your head around and sticking out your new flail to attack foes, dealing 1d6 damage and having -1 to hit. If you roll a 1 on an attack roll with your tongue flail, it comes back and hits you in the face for 1d4 damage and you take the same amount of damage to your Charisma score from the black eye. You can use this flail at the same time you're using other weapons if you're a fighter, but get -2 to all attacks due to the difficulty unless you're really good at using your teeth-tongue-mouth flail thing.

[19] Mirror teeth. Your teeth are very shiny. You can trap a beam, color, or burst of light inside your mouth by 'eating' it and keeping it inside your mouth. As long as you don't open your mouth (like talking or drinking a potion) you can keep the light inside which is released when you open your mouth- bursting out as though you had given off the source of light yourself or the enemy you burp it on was hit by that light-spell.

[20] Molar-Mouth. Your teeth slowly mutate into all being huge, fat molars. You have a massive, creepy smile and can crush things in your mouth at 1d6 blunt damage, including other people's hands, fingers, metal objects, glass, etc. Your mouth also gets really tough to avoid getting hurt by chewing this stuff, but you still cannot swallow it without suffering the normal effects that would have.